Mangosweetness

My New Adventures

2012-01-12T00:16:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone,

As you know I have been working on Billiemarie Designs. Which is a kind-of business where I make things for other people. I also sell them at Community Sales, etc. I have started a part of Billiemarie Designs. I call it Brownies by Design.

I have seen the many stores/bakeries of just cupcakes and cookies, etc and I thought to myself, why not Brownies only. So my goal is to one day open a store/bakery that sells only Brownies.

I have been doing a lot of research on brownie recipes and testing brownies flavors. With my food allergies it hasn't been easy. I haven't discovered any good tasting brownie recipes that meet my food allergies that isn't already a mix. As soon as I do, I will let everyone know.

With my new adventures of Brownies by Design, I created a new blog page: h ttp://browniesbydesign.blogspot.com

I will soon be creating Facebook pages. I hope all of you become fans of my work.

Day 9

2011-12-11T19:33:00.000-08:00

Christmas Candle

Turn your lights low and read by the glow of this candle, about the life of our Savior at this Christmas time. From the scriptures we read of His example and Christ like characteristics, His mission on each so divine. Strive diligently to emulate each of these wonderful qualities and follow the example of our Savior each day. Not only at this special giving season, but throughout the year remember Him and show love in every way.

December 1^st John 13:15 Example

December 2^nd                   Matthew 18:4                   Humility
December 3^rd                    Colossians 3:13                Forgiveness
December 4^th                    1 Corinthians 16:14          Charity
December 5^th                    John 12:26                      Service
December 6^th                    James 2:18                      Faith
December 7^th                    Colossians 3:20                Obedience
December 8^th                    Matthew 5:9                    Peacemaker
December 9^th                    Mark 5:19                        Compassionate
December 10^th                  Luke 6:36                        Merciful
December 11^th                  Daniel 6:26                      Steadfast
December 12^th                  Matthew 5:16                   Good Works
December 13^th                  Leviticus 19:2                   Holy
December 14^th                  Matthew 5:48                   Perfect
December 15^th                  Matthew 11:29                 Meek
December 16^th                  Hebrews 6:15                   Patient
December 17^th                  John 15:13                      Friend
December 18^th                  Matthew 5:8                    Pure in Heart
December 19^th                  1 Corinthians 13:7            Endurance
December 20^th                  Proverbs 1:5                    Wisdom
December 21^st                  Romans 14:13                  Judge Not
December 22^nd                 John 15:12                      Show Love
December 23^rd                  Proverbs 4:11                  Leader
December 24^th                  Philippians 4:8                 Honest
December 25^th                  Luke 2:11                        Chosen

Beginning December 1^st read one scripture reference each day until Christmas. Light a candle as you read to remind you of Christ’s life and example.

Day 8

2011-12-11T19:31:00.001-08:00

Christmas Alphabet Poem

Author Unknown

A is for Angels, appearing so bright, telling of Jesus that first Christmas night.
"And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host." Luke 2:13.

B is for Bethlehem, crowded and old, birthplace of Jesus by prophet foretold.
"But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel." Micah 5:2.

C is for Cattle, their manger His bed, there in the trough where He laid His head.
"And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and
laid him in a manger." Luke 2:7.

D is for David and his ancient throne promised forever to Jesus alone.
"He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God
shall give unto him the throne of his father David." Luke 1:32.

E is for East, where shone the bright star which Magi on camels followed afar.
"Behold, there came wise men from the east asking 'Where is the king of the Jews?'" Matthew 2:1,2.

F is for Frankincense, with myrrh and gold, brought by the Wise Men as Matthew has told.
"And when they had opened their treasurers, they presented unto him gifts gold, frankincense, and myrrh." Matthew 2:11.

G is for God, who from heaven above sent down to mankind the Son of His love.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16.

H is for Herod, whose murderous scheme was told to Joseph in a nocturnal dream.
"The angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise and take the young child and his mother and flee into Egypt... for Herod will seek the young child to destroy him." Matthew 2:13.

I is for Immanuel, "God with us," for Christ brought man back to the Father's house.
"Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel." Isaiah 7:14.

J is for Joseph so noble and just, obeying God's word with absolute trust.
"Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife." Matthew 1:24.

K is for King. A true king He would be, coming in power and authority.
"Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion; shout, O daughter of Jerusalem; behold, the King cometh unto thee; he is just, and having salvation." Zechariah 9:9.

L is for Love that He brought down to earth God enfleshed in lowly birth.
"In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him." 1 John 4:9.

M is for Mary, His mother so brave, counting God faithful and mighty to save.
"And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word." Luke 1:38.

N is for Night, when the Savior was born for nations of earth and people forlorn.
"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night." Luke 2:8.

O is for Omega, meaning "the last;" He's eternal present, future and past.
"I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last." Revelation 22:13.

P is for Prophets, when living on earth foretold His redemption and blessed birth.
"I see him, but not now; I behold him, but not near. A star will come out of Jacob; a sceptre will rise out of Israel." Numbers 24:17.

Q is for Quickly, as shepherds who heard hastened to act on that heavenly word.
"And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger." Luke 2:16.

R is for Rejoice. The sorrow of sin is banished forever when Jesus comes in.
"And you will have joy and gladness; and many will rejoice at his birth." Luke 1:14.

S is for Savior. To be this He came; the angel of God assigned Him His name.
"She will bring forth a son, and you will call his name JESUS, for he will save his people from their sins." Matthew 1:21.

T is for Tidings of joy, not of danger, telling of Him who was laid in a manger.
"And the angel said unto them, Fear not for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people." Luke 2:10.

U is for Us, to whom Jesus was given to show us the way and take us to heaven.
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:11.

V is for Virgin, foretold by the sage, God's revelation on prophecy's page.
"Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a Son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us." Matthew 1:23.

W is for Wonderful, His works and His words, the King of all Kings, the Lord of all Lords.
"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given... and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6.

X is for Christ. It's X in the Greek, Anointed, Messiah, mighty, yet meek.
"God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power." Acts 10:38.

Y is for Yes, called God's Yes in His Word; God's answer to all is Jesus the Lord.
"For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us." 2 Corinthians 1:20.

Z is for Zeal as it burned in Christ's heart. Lord, by thy Spirit to us zeal impart.
"And his disciples remembered that it was written, the zeal of your house has eaten me up." John 2:17.

Day 7

2011-12-11T19:30:00.000-08:00

Christmas

- William Cullen Bryant

As shadows cast by cloud and sun

Flit o’ver the summer grass,
So, in thy slight, almighty one,
Earth’s generations pass,
And as the years, and endless host,
Come swiftly pressing on,
The brightest names that earth can boast
Just glisten and are gone.

Yet doth the star of Bethlehem shed

A luster pure and sweet;
And still it leads, as once it led,
To the Messiah’s feet.
O Father, may that Holy Star
Grow every year more bright,
And send its glorious beams afar
To fill the world with light

Day 6

2011-12-11T19:28:00.000-08:00

As With Gladness Men Of Old

- William Chatterton Dix

As with gladness men of old
Did the guiding star behold;
As with joy they hailed its light,
Leading onward, beaming bright;
So, most gracious Lord, may we
Evermore be led to Thee.

As with joyful steps they sped

To that lowly manger-bed,
There to bend the knee before
Him whom heaven and earth adore;
So may we with willing feet
Ever seek Thy mercy seat.

As they offered gifts most rare,

At that manger rude and bare,
So may we with holy joy,
Pure and free from sin’s alloy,
All our costliest treasures bring,
Christ, to Thee, our heavenly King.

Holy Jesus, every day

Keep us in the narrow way;
And, when earthly things are past,
Bring our ransomed souls at last
Where they needed no star to guide,
Where no clouds They glory ride.

Day 5

2011-12-08T23:29:00.000-08:00

A Soldier's Christmas

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE
MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM, I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD, MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."

This poem was written by a Marine stationed in Okinawa Japan

Day 4

2011-12-08T23:22:00.000-08:00

A Masonic Christmas

Twas the Night before Christmas

And down at the lodge
Not a gavel was stirring,
And in the hodge podge
Of Aprons and jewels
And Chairs East and West

You could savor the silence,
Most gladly divest
All metal and mineral,
It mattered not,
Since Christmas was nigh

And the coals were still hot

In the hearth of your home place
All Masons abed,
As vision of trestleboards
Danced in their head;

When up on the roof there arose such a clatter
Our Tyler jumped up to see what was the matter!
He picked up his sword and ran fast to the door,
Three knocks shook the panels – he wondered “What for?”
He answered the knocking with raps of his own,
And once the door opened he saw, with a moan
Of delight, it was Santa, all jolly and red
Except for one notable feature instead!

Upon his large finger he wore what we knew

Was compass and square on a background of blue!
“Why Santa!” he shouted and lowered his blade,
“I see you’re a Mason!” the Tyler relayed.

He looked toward the Master’s most dignified chair

And said, voice near trembling, “Most Worshipful there
Is a Gentleman properly clothed at the gate!”
The Master replied, “Let’s allow him – but wait!
You tell me a Gentleman, but I don’t see
His apron beneath that red suit. Can it be
Our visitor hasn’t been properly raised?”
Must we offer a test that is suitably phrased?”

“I do beg your pardon,” ol’ Santa said quick

As he pulled up his coat and display not a stick
Nut a cane with engraving, two balls did appear
And oh, what and apron, he wore and held dear!

Adorned like the Master’s, complete with a sign

Of “Lodge Number One, the North Pole” on one line!
“Now let this man enter,” the Master declared,

And once in the Lodge room, the Brethren all stared,

For Santa was wearing a jewel not seen
For many a century – there in between
The fur of his coat and the splendid red collar
Gleamed two golden reindeer that shone line a dollar!

“It’s Donner and Blizten, who I must confess

Are actually images brought from the West
By my Warden, a craftsman like none in the world!”

And with a great laugh from his bag he unfuried

An ear of fine corn, and some oil from the East,
“My friend I have plenty. Tonight we will feast
On all that is good! We are Masons, kind sir!”

As presents and promises flew from his sack!

This Santa, a Mason, showed he had a knack
For making this Christmas the best you could glean,

And soon even Deacons were laughing. They’d seen

On this very night only happiness reigned!
This jolly Saint Nicholas quickly explained
That only a Mason could be so inclined
To make all kids happy, make all people find
A Chistmas so special. Yes, Santa was right!
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a god night!

Arthur – Clayton L Wright

Day 3

2011-12-08T23:16:00.000-08:00

A Christmas Story

It’s just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so. It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas. Oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it. Overspending, the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma. The gifts given in desperation because you couldn’t think of anything else. Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way.

Our son, Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner city church, mostly black. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler’s ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford.

Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. But as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn’t acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, “I wish just one of them could have won,” he said. “They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.”

Mike loved kids, all kids, and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That’s when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church.

On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years.

For each Christmas, I followed the tradition, one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on.

The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.

As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn’t end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the three for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope.

Mike’s spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us. May we all remember Christ, who is the reason for the season, and the true Christmas spirit this year and always.

“There is nothing so healing to oneself as to heal another.”

Author Unknown

Day 2

2011-12-08T23:13:00.000-08:00

A Candy Maker’s Witness

A candy maker in Indiana wanted to make a candy that would be a witness, so he made the Christmas Candy Cane. He incorporated several symbols for the birth ministry, and death of Jesus Christ.

He began with a stick of pure white, hard candy. White to symbolize the Virgin Birth and the sinless nature of Jesus, and hard to symbolize the Solid Rock, the foundation of the Church, and firmness of the promises of God.

The candy maker made the candy in the form of a “J” to represent the precious name of Jesus, who came to earth as our Savior. It could also represent the staff of the “Good Shepherd” with which He reaches down into the ditches of the world to lift out the fallen lambs who, like sheep have gone astray.

Thinking that the candy was somewhat lain, the candy maker stained it with red stripes. He used three small stripes to show the scouring Jesus received by which we are healed. The large red stripe was for the bloodshed by Christ on the cross so that we could have the promise of eternal life.

Unfortunately, the candy became know as the Candy Cane – a meaningless decoration seen at Christmas time. But the meaning is still there for those who “have eyes to see and ears to hear.” I pray that this symbol will again be used to witness the Wonder of Jesus and His Great Love that came down at Christmas and remains the ultimate and sominate force in the universe today.

- Author Unknown

Sorry this is a little late

Christmas Stories Day 1

2011-12-05T20:16:00.000-08:00

12 Days of Christmas

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.

It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.

-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership and Mercy.

-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.

-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control.

-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now you know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol

Merry (Twelve Days of) Christmas Everyone

A Gluten Free Blog

2011-10-25T17:04:00.000-07:00

I recently discovered a great website / blog for gluten free items. Receipes, guidance, etc.

http://glutenfreerecipebox.com/

OES Community Sale Today

2011-10-15T22:27:00.000-07:00

So for my first booth of my own doing, it went pretty well. I have worked other peoples' booths many times over but never one of my own work. I have 1 table split in half. 1 part was crafts I have been making over time and the other part was Brownies.

I sold small pieces of home made brownies of my own recipes. 1 was white chocolate, macadamia nut, cranberry brownie. Another was rainbow sprinkles with almond flavoring. 1 was cinnamon with espresso. Another was was white chocolate, macadamia nut with hazelnut frosting. The one I sold out of was S'more: vanilla wafers, walnuts with chocolate marshmallow frosting.

The next OES Community Sale is March 24th, 2012. It is a Saturday and will be at the same place: Mt Morah Lodge, Henderson Masonic Lodge, 480 Greenway, Henderson, NV 89015.

It was a lot of fun and exhausting working a booth on your own. No help setting up the canopy or table but a friend did help me take down the canopy which was nice. They had a raffle for the vendors who signed up today for the next community sale, their spot would be free and I won!! So I will be doing the same thing again but between now and then I will get another table (so the brownies could be on their own table). I will do the S'mores one again and I will work on some others people might enjoy more.

Cemetery Watchman

2011-10-10T17:12:00.000-07:00

- Author Unknown

My friend Kevin and I are volunteers at a national cemetery in Oklahoma and put in a few days a month in a slightly larger uniform.

Today had been a long, long day and I just wanted to get the day over with and go down to Smokey’s and have a cold one. Sneaking a look at my watch, I saw the time, 16:55, five minutes to go before the cemetery gates are closed for the day. Full dress was hot in the August sun, Oklahoma summertime was a bad as ever – the heat and humidity at the same level – both too high.

I saw the car pull into the drive, ’69 or ’70 model Cadillac Deville, looked factory new. It pulled into the parking lot at a snail’s pace. An old woman got out so slow I thought she was paralyzed; she had a can and sheaf of flowers – about four or five bunches as best as I could tell.

I couldn’t help myself. The though came unwanted, and left a slightly bitter taste: ‘She’s going to spend an hour, and for this old soldier, my hip hurts like hell and I’m ready to get out of here right now!’ But for this day my duty was to assist anyone coming in.

Kevin would lock the ‘In’ gate and if I could hurry the old biddy along, we might make it to Smokey’s in time.

I broke post attention. My hip made gritty noises when I took the first step and the pain went up a notch. I must have made a real military sight: middle-aged man with a small pot gut and half a limp, in Marine full-dress uniform, which had lost its razor crease about thirty minutes after I began this watch at the cemetery.

I stopped in front of her, halfway up the walk; she looked up at me with an old woman’s squint.

Ma’am, may I assist you in any way? She took long enough to answer.

‘Yes, Son, Can you carry these flowers? I seem to be moving a tad slow these days.’

‘My pleasure, Ma’am, (well, it wasn’t too much of a lie).

She looked again, ‘Marine, Where were you stationed?’

‘Vietnam, Ma’am, ground pounder, ’69 to ’71.’

She looked at me closer. ‘Wounded in action, I see. Well done, Marine, I’ll be quick as I can.’

I lied a little bigger, ‘No hurry, Ma’am.’

She smiled and winked at me. ‘Son, I’m 85 years old and I can tell a lie from a long way off, let’s get this done. Might be the last time I can do this. My name’s Joanna Wieserman, and I’ve a few Marines I’d like to see one more time.’

‘Yes, Ma’am, at your service.’

She headed for the World War I section, stopping at a stone. She picked one of the flower bunches out of my arm, and laid it on top of the stone. She murmured something I couldn’t quite make out. The name on the marble was Donald S. Davidson, USMC: France 1918.

She turned away and made a straight line for the World War II section, stopping at one stone. I saw a tear slowly tracking its way down her cheek. She put a bunch on a stone; the name was Stephen X. Davidson, USMC: 1943.

She went up to the row a ways and laid another bunch on a stone, Stanley J. Wieserman, USMC: 1944.

She paused for a second and more tears flowed. ‘Two more Son, and we’ll be done.’

I almost didn’t say anything but ‘Yes Ma’am, take your time.’ came out.

She looked confused, ‘Where’s the Vietnam section, son? I seem to have lost my way.’

I pointed with my chin, ‘That way, Ma’am.’

‘Oh!’ she chuckled quietly. ‘Son, me and old age ain’t too friendly.’

She headed down the walk I’d pointed at. She stopped at a couple of stones before she found the ones she wanted. She placed a bunch on Larry Wieserman, USMC: 1968 and the last on, Darrel Wieserman, USMC: 1970. She stood there and murmured a few words I still couldn’t make out and more tears flowed.

‘Ok, Son, I’m finished. Get me back to my car and you can go home.’

‘Yes, Ma’am, if I may ask, were those your kinfolk?’

She paused, ‘Yes, Donald Davidson was my father, Stephen was my uncle, Stanley was my husband, Larry and Darrel were my sons. All killed in action, all Marines.’

She stopped. Whether she had finished, or couldn’t finish, I don’t know. She made her way to her car, slowly and painfully.

I waited for a polite distance to come between us and then double-timed it over to Kevin, waiting by the car.

‘Get to the ‘Out’ gate quick. I have something I’ve got to do.’

Kevin started to day something but saw the look I gave him. He broke the rules to get is there, down the service road fast. We need to beat her. She hadn’t made it around the rotunda yet.

‘Kevin, stand at attention next to the gatepost, follow my lead.’ I humped across the drive to the other post.

When the Cadillac came puttering around from the hedges and began the short straight traverse to the gate. I called in my best gunny’s voice: ‘Tehenhut! Present Haarms!’

I have to hand it to Kevin; he never blinked an eye – full dress attention and a salute that would make his DI proud.

She drove through that gate with two old worn-out soldiers giving her a send-off she deserved for service rendered to her country, and for knowing duty, honor and sacrifice far beyond the realm o most.

I am not sure but I think I saw a salute returned from the Cadillac.

As a final thought on my part let me share a favorite prayer:
‘Lord, keep our service men and women safe whether they serve at home or overseas. Hold them in your loving hands and protect them as they protect us.’

Let’s all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy. Amen.

America's New War

2011-10-10T16:08:00.001-07:00

“America’s New War”
On the T.V. I hear
For my children’s lives
I’m starting to fear.
May GOD protect them
And keep them from harm.
As I keep them close
And clutched in my arms.
If for some reason
Our freedom is gone.
With GOD in out hearts
We will still be strong.
“In GOD we trust”
Isn’t just something we say.
It’s what we live by
Each and everyday.
So no matter what happens
Or what the future may bring.
We are Believers
And FREEDOM WILL RING!

- By Shannon Mancha, PM NV Sunrise #28

Order of the Eastern Star Grand Chapter Week

2011-10-02T22:24:00.000-07:00

The Order of the Eastern Star Nevada Grand Chapter started today. It will go till Wednesday, October 5th. It is being held at The Eastside Cannery in Las Vegas, NV.

I'm excited it has finally started. Ended up going to the airport 5 times yesterday (a least). Almost a whole tank of gas was used taking people from the airport to the hotel. Everyone was very nice and patient with me when I drove. I didn't have the best patience yesterday and I felt bad about it.

I made the alter cloth, the fern applique and the memorial cloth. The alter and memorial cloth are too big. I don't know if I can't measure right or if I was given the wrong measurements, either way it's not noticeable. The memorial cloth, I put the fern on the wrong corner. I don't know if I just completely forgot or what but it too isn't really noticeable and both items look good. I altered some clothes a for someone for this week and so far she looks good in my alterations.

I'm not staying at the hotel, which would make life easier but I do have a key to my Grandparents room for outfit changes etc.

My Grandmother is Grand Chaplain this year. Today was her Vespers & Memorial services. It was very well done. The youth groups (Rainbow Girls, Job's Daughters & Demoly) did and amazing job! My Grandmother used a friend's military boots and helmet. She also borrowed a lighted cross. It is a very pretty cross but I had to paint it because a lot of the marks wouldn't come off. I did kind of seal it with clear spray paint and it looked good during the service.

There were many Masonic organizations represented today. I didn't realize how many there were and I know there are more out there. Everyone was so pretty or handsome and really nice today. Even though I was exhausted I had a great day.

I did forget my camera today but hopefully I will pictures tomorrow.

Here is a link to the Nevada Eastern Star Grand Chapter http://www.nevadaoes.org/

OES Community Sale

2011-09-28T22:23:00.001-07:00

Hello Everyone,

My Order of the Eastern Star chapter, Sunrise #28 Henderson, NV will be having our next community sale October 15, 2011. Sale is 9 AM - 2 PM, breakfast 8 AM - 11 AM. Location: 480 Greenway Ave, Henerdson, NV 89002 (this is Mt. Mariah Lodge).

The radio station KSHP will be there!

There are going to be tons of other vendors from different companies going to be there. Like Mary Kay, Avon, Candy Maker and many many more . . .

I have a table and will be selling the many things I have been making. I hope you come & check out my work!

If you want a space they are 10 X 20. Each space is $20 unless you have a canopy then it is $30. You get a free breakfast with each space.

Mt. Mariah Lodge's phone # is 702-564-2867

The community sale chairman's email address is stonebarger@centurylink.net

The next Community Sale is scheduled for March 24, 2012.

Looking For Work Again

2011-06-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

Looking for work again is very exhausting. Here are some sites I visit daily for work:

LDS Jobs.org (Non-LDS People can have profiles on this site).

Review Journal.com (I've gotten lots of leads from this site).

Craigslist.com

I hope this helps someone else.

Job Seekers FYI

2011-05-09T11:08:00.001-07:00

For all those out there looking for work, Do Not Look into this place. They charge you to help you find a job. There is way too many other places to find a job. You should pay anyone to help you. It is a rip off.

http://centurytemporaryservices.com/

Loving Life

2010-09-27T20:30:00.001-07:00

So life is fine. I'm feeling better. Still feeling alone but that's life right.

I Need To Change Something

2010-08-01T01:28:00.000-07:00

I need to do something different with my life. I am tired of always being in pain. And I mean in physical pain which hurts my social. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of roommates who do not clean up after themselves. I warn them that it drives me crazy people who don't clean up after themselves and that I can be hard to live with some time. They convince me it will be fine, I believe them and it all goes to crap. I feel so alone. I feel like no on wants me. I feel like there is something wrong with me because I have a hard time with roommates. I feel ugly. I want to make a change but I don't know what to do. Sometimes I want to be like the people on TV or in the movies that can make things better in 2 hours. I often wonder why I am here and if I am actually making a difference in any one's life. If I would actually be missed if I was gone. If any one's life would actually be any different if I never meet them. Sometimes I feel worthless because I'm not married and I don't have any kids. I don't own anything. I'm not anything marketable. No one wants to pay for homemade items anymore, specially when you can go to Walmart and get a factory made version super cheap. I want to travel but I barely have enough money just for gas to get to work. I also barely have enough clothes for work. It's also hard to travel with no passport and with all of my food allergies. I used to dye my hair crazy colors but my current job won't allow that. I've also thought about shaving my head but that won't help anything either. I've thought about those dating websites but I don't have any money for that. I've done the free dating websites but all that's on there are people looking for 1 night stands or to rob me blind. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Recently

2010-07-16T22:52:00.000-07:00

At the end of June I ended up in the hospital with a migraine and severe pain in my adombine. It looked like I have an enlarged pancreaus and swollen liph nodes. I had an infection some where in my body that they didn't know where it was.

I left work early on a Friday. Went to Quick Care who gave me a very large dose of a pain killer that I ended up having an allergic reaction to and was sent to the Emergence Room. After 3 hours in the Quick Care I spent 12 hours in the ER. Drugged up the whole time. It was no fun.

I have been dealing with stomach cramps, pains and other issues. I have had several tests, exams, x-rays, etc. One doctor after another all coming up with something different. So far I have been told I have Chrons, Allergies-R-Us. Now I am looking at Celaic disease and diabetes.

I am on a very special diet now and have been doing a lot of research on Vegan-Gluten Free Recipes. I can have meat in general but no eggs and no dairy.

As I do have more energy now then I have in the past few years which is nice. I still get tired easily. I know I come across mean, snobbish and rude. I don't mean to be but it is usually from being in pain and/or really tired.

After several prayers, temple visits, etc. I appreciate the concerns of others although I will admit I don't always understand it. I do find the advise of others who have never had my issues fusrating at times. Specially when they tell me I need to eat more fruit and vegetables. Little do most people know I do eat healthy and I have done so for years. I know my size doesn't always show it and can through people off but I don't watch what I eat. I wish people would just be patient and understanding with me.

My New Goals

2010-05-10T22:26:00.001-07:00

My new Goals for the year:

1. Figure out what I can eat
2. Get out of debt
3. Figure out what I want to be when I grow up
4. Stop drinking soda
5. Be Positive
6. Go to the Temple at least once a month
7. Full fill my church callings to best of my ability
8. Try really really hard not to watch rated R movies.
9. Actually have something in my savings account.
10. Not allow the stress of being single get to me.
11. Remind myself how good my life really is (specially on the bad days).
12. Remeber who I am
13. Work on finishing things on time

My Latest Adventure In Life

2010-05-05T18:52:00.000-07:00

I had a blood test done to see what foods I was allergic too. This did not include environmental things like perfumes, flowers, etc. This is only for food.

My new list is:

All dairy (cow, goat, etc)
Eggs
Wheat
Gluten
Sunflower Seeds
Spelt
Tritcate (it's a grain)
Navy Beans
Pinto Beans'
Kidney Beans
Pineapple
Green Beans
Green Peppers
Mushrooms
Corn
Grapefruit
Strawberries
Spinach

Other thing's I am allergic to:

Pencilin
Steroids
Some Perfumes
Some Pollens
Pewter

Next to figure out, what can I eat???

Look At What I Did . . .

2010-03-01T20:44:00.000-08:00

I finally opened an Etsy account. I will let you all know as soon as I start posting things.

www.etsy.com

Single Adult Conference

2010-02-15T19:33:00.000-08:00

So this weekend was the Las Vegas Area Annual Singles Conference.

Now mind you if you go to this singles conference, you shouldn't have the goal of meeting an eternal spouse. You should be happy attending for the spiritual aspect and the pure entertainment value.

Having this attitude, I had a great time. I meet several people because I had my friend / roommate. She was a great comfort zone and helped me a lot get out of my comfort zone.

There was a fireside Friday night, a dance Friday night & Saturday night. There was workshops & another fireside on Saturday. On Sunday was Sacrament meeting, lunch & devotional.

Some of the workshops, firesides & devotionals were done by artist, Area 70 Priesthood leaders, Temple Presidency leaders, Brad Wilcox, etc.

There was entertainment by Sam Payne and Marvin Goldstein (both very good entertainers & good men). I am now friends and/or fans of them on facebook.

There is a website for the local Single Adults:

www.ldssingleslv.org

This site will mentions the next conference, FHE's (Family Home Evenings), Dances etc.

There is also well known Single Adult Conference in Huntington Beach, CA that I know several people will be going to. It is sometime the end of April.

http://www.hbmidsinglesconference.com

My roommate & some of my friends want to attend. I hope to see you all there.

My Current Goals

2010-01-06T19:47:00.000-08:00

1. To weight between 150 - 160 pounds (loose 30 - 40 pounds).
2. Stop drinking soda
3. Be Positive
4. Go to the Temple at least once a month
5. Full fill my church callings to best of my ability
6. Try really really hard not to watch rated R movies.
7. Actually have something in my savings account.
8. Get out of debt
9. Not allow the stress of being single get to me.
10. Remind myself how good my life really is (specially on the bad days).

Happy New Year

2010-01-05T23:27:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone is having a Happy New Year so far. It has been almost a whole week in the new year.

My goals this year:

Be positive
Stay Temple Worthy
Stay Organized
Be On Time Everywhere I Go
Loose Weight

Oh wait, these have been my goals for some time now. I don't really believe in New Years resolutions. I think if you want to make a change to just do it. Like I know I need to stop drinking soda. I just don't want to yet.

I still haven't gotten a kiss for the new year. Doubt it will happen anytime soon.

My latest goal is to keep up on this blog better this year. 2009 wasn't a good year for me to keep on this blog, sorry.

I hope everyone is doing well. I love you all.

The Prayer of Santa Claus

2009-12-22T20:58:00.000-08:00

By Lance Micklus

Father God, tonight is Christmas Eve. Children all over the world are on their best behavior tonight – hoping, praying, believing that if they’re extra good, I’ll visit them in the middle of the night while they’re sleeping to leave a special gift. I love little children. They have such faith. They believe in the impossible – and they expect to receive it. For their sake, Father God, I pray that you will honor their faith and anoint me, for this one night to make their dreams come true.

I pray also for the adults – all of them mommies and daddies, grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles. May the gifts they receive on this night remind them that there is always someone who cares about them, and that no one is beyond the reach of love.

I pray for the world that 2,000 years ago once knew a special night of peace, when baby Jesus was born. Angels sand in the night sky and the sheep were not afraid of the wolf. I pray that on this night the world may know that peace again, an when day comes, they will never forget that Christmas is the day we have set aside to celebrate the birth of the Savior Jesus.

Finally, Father God, I pray for myself: I thank you for one more year of my life. I thank you for my health, and my wonderful wife, Mrs. Claus. Grant me a safe journey. May I find every home and forget no one. Help me to complete my task swiftly – there is much to be done in a single night. May the spirit of loe fill the night sky and may joy come in the morning. Amen.

SANTA'S SECRET WISH

2009-12-21T23:12:00.000-08:00

SANTA'S SECRET WISH

On Christmas Eve,
a young boy with light in his eyes,
Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise,
And said as he nestled on Santa's broad knee,
"I want your secret, tell it to me."

He leaned up & whispered in Santa's good ear,
"How do you do it, year after year?"
"I want to know how, as you travel about,
Giving gifts here & there, you never run out.

How is it, dear Santa, that in your pack of toys,
You have plenty for all of the world's girls & boys?

Stays so full, never empties as you make your way
From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large & small,
From nation to nation, reaching them all?

And Santa smiled kindly & said to the boy,
"Don't ask me hard questions.

Don't you want a toy?"
But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
He told the small boy with the light in his eyes,
"My secret will make you sadder & wise.

"The truth is that my sack is magic. Inside
It holds millions of toys for my Christmas Eve ride.
But although I do visit each girl & each boy
I don't always leave them a gaily wrapped toy.

Some homes are hungry, some homes are sad.
Some homes are desperate, some homes are bad.
Some homes are broken, & children there grieve.

Those homes I visit, but what should I leave?
"My sleigh is filled with the happiest stuff,
But for homes where despair lives,
toys aren't enough.

So I tiptoe in, kiss each girl & boy,
And pray with them that they'll be given the joy
Of the spirit of Christmas, the spirit that lives
In the heart of the dear child who gets not,
but gives.

If only God hears me & answers my prayer,
When I visit next year, what I will find there
Are homes filled with peace,
and with giving, and love
And boys and girls gifted with light from above.

It's a very had task, my smart little brother,
To give toys to some,
and to give prayers to others.

But the prayers are the best gifts,
the best gifts indeed,
For God has a way of meeting each need.

"That's part of the answer.
The rest, my dear youth,
Is that my sack is magic, And that is the truth.
In my sack I carry on Christmas Eve day
More love than a Santa could e'er give away.

The sack never empties of love, or of joys
'Cause inside it are prayers, and hopes.
Not just toys.
The more that I give, the fuller it seems,
Because giving is my way of fulfilling dreams.

"And do you know something?
You've got a sack, too.
It's as magic as mine, and it's inside of you.
It never gets empty, it's full from the start.

It's the centre of lights, and of love. It's your heart.
And if on this Christmas you want to help me,
Don't be so concerned with your gifts
'neath your tree.

Open that sack, call your heart, & share
Your joy, your friendship, your wealth, your care."
The light in the small boy's eyes was glowing.

"Thanks for the secret. I've got to be going."
"Wait, little boy," said Santa "don't go.
Will you share? Will you help?
Will you use what you know?"

And just for a moment the small boy stood still,
Touched his heart with his small hand & whispered,

"I will."

Author Unknown

Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas

2009-12-21T23:09:00.000-08:00

Santa Whispered, “Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas”

The Star: A heavenly sign of prophecy fulfilled long ages ago – the shining hope of mankind.

Red: The first color of Christmas symbolizing the Savior’s sacrifice for all.

Fir Tree: Evergreen – The second color of Christmas showa everlasting life. The needles point Heavenward

The Bell: Rings out to guide lost sheep back to the fold – signifying all are precious in the eyes of the Lord

The Candle: A mirror of starlight reflecting our thanks for the Star of Bethlehem.

Gift Bow: Tied as we should all be tied together in bonds of goodwill forever.

Candy Cane: The shepherd’s crook used to bring lambs back into the fold – A reminder that we are all our brother’s keeper.

The Wreath: A symbol of the never ending eternal nature of love, having no beginning and no end.

I don't know who wrote this but I like it a lot.

A Beautiful Story

2009-12-19T20:57:00.000-08:00

Santa’s Prayer on Christmas Eve

By Warren D Jennings

The sleigh was all packed, the reindeer were fed,
But Santa still knelt by the side of the bed.

“Dear Father,” he prayed “Be with me tonight.
There’s much work to do and my schedule is tight.

I must jump in my sleigh and streak through the sky,
Knowing full well that a reindeer can’t fly.

I will visit each household before the first light,
I’ll cover the world and all in one night.

With sleighbells a-ringing, I’ll land on each roof
Amid the soft clatter of each little hoof.

To get in the house is the difficult part,
So I’ll slide down the chimney of each child’s heart.

My sack will hold toys to grant all their wishes.
The supply will be endless like the loaves and the fishes.

I will fill all the stockings and not leave a track.
I’ll eat every cookie that is left for my snack.

I can do all these things Lord, only through You,
I just need your blessing, then it’s easy to do.

All this is to honor the birth of the One,
That was sent to redeem us, Your most Holy Son.

So to all of my friends, least Your glory I rob,
Please Lord, remind them who gave me this job.’’

Alice

2009-11-30T00:25:00.000-08:00

I can't wait for the SyFy Channel's version of Alice in Wonderland. They are premiering it Sunday December 6th 9 PM / 8 PM Central time.

The link below is to the SyFy Channels trailer

http://video.syfy.com/movies_events/alice

I can't wait for it. I am so excited.

The Holiday's

2009-11-29T23:04:00.000-08:00

The holiday season is always a hard time of year for me. This time of year for some reason I feel more alone than I do any other time of year. I have never had someone special in my someone who have cared about me.

I try to not to think about it. I try to think about the real meaning of Christmas. The birth of Christ and what his life meant for us but it doesn't always work.

It also seems lately at church all of the lessons are on eternal marriage. Which is a hard subject for me to listen to. It is also very annoying.

I have to keep telling myself there is a reason for this. There is a reason which I don't understand right now and may not understand in this life. That I will receive the blessings of a husband and children. That it is just a trail right now that I must make it through.

I hope everyone has a good Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and New Year.

Ceremonial Daughters Of The Nile

2009-10-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

Today was my Temple's Ceremonial. We have 2 a year. Ceremonial is when the Supreme Queen visits and when we initiate new members into our Temple. I am a member of El Giza Temple #139, Las Vegas, NV. I am in the dance unit at my Temple. Unit is a group. I am currently president of my group. Which is usually fun but sometimes stressful. On the 15th I became an Attendant (officer in my temple), I am still Historian and the Queen's page.

The Units have to preform for the Queen at Ceremonial. My unit the El Gizarettes (the dancers), learned a new dance. Our Queen is a huge fan of Elvis Presley. So we did Blue Hawaii Hula. We practiced all summer and basically twice a week since the last 2 months.

The Queen was in our unit before she had to quit. The Queen is not allowed to be in a unit while she is queen. This was our first dance where she didn't know our dance. I made everyone in the unit keep it a secret. No one was allowed to tell the Queen anything. She was so excited about our performance and how well we did. It was a nice feeling.

So Far This Week

2009-10-20T19:08:00.000-07:00

I finally got a calling in my ward. I am now a Visiting Teaching District Leader and a Ward Missionary. I'm not really sure what that means. I was set apart during Sunday. Church just seemmed to drag on and on and on.

Work today and yesterday seems to be dragging on and on making the days feel like they are going so slow.

I felt this way about church on Sunday too. Nothing against the teachers & speakers & co-workers, etc. I just don't know what's wrong with me.

I've been praying a lot and listen to old conference talks lately. I listen to them while I am driving to and from work. Now I'm house sitting again this week. I also have Nile Ceremonial on Sunday.

The next several weekends, I have things to do between Nile, Eastern Star and family. I don't know when to breathe or even if I will have a moment to do so.

I'm still having major sleep issues. I don't know why.

Anyways, I hope everything is going well for everyone else.

HI Everyone

2009-09-27T22:44:00.001-07:00

I hope everyone has been doing well. I have been struggling inside with bad thoughts of things are never going to change. That I will always be what I am right now. I will never find love, I will never have children, so on and so forth. It is a hard thing to deal with sometimes. Specially at church when you see people 10 years younger than you getting married and having kids.

I know I am in the ward I am suppose to be in but it is hard when you try to talk to people or just say hi. And you get responses or looks that make you feel like a leper or a monster or something. You think, what is wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? It is so frustrating.

I know I need to be more social and get to know people in my ward better but it is hard when you get response like that. I know I need to just let it go and move on. That it likely isn't anything that I did or didn't do. They could be just having a bad day or something. I don't know but when it happened enough times you begin to wonder.

Wow It Has Been A Long Time

2009-09-10T20:42:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't done any posts in a while. I haven't had constistant internet connection. I moved into my Grandparents house May 1st. Then I moved into a house with roommate on August 1st. Then I started house sitting August 16th and have been there since. The family of whom I am house sitting for will be back the week of the 29th.

I signed up with Eastridge Temp Agency in May. I have been on several interviews over the last year and never got a job offer. Eastridge sent me to a business in Boulder City, NV. I don't know how they were open. They were in fear of being shut down. The manager didn't work well with others and wasn't up on the lastest news. They had to deal with a lot fraud. Oh well. Then I had a few weeks off. In July I started at a new place in Henderson. Today they asked me to fill out the paper work to start the highering process. I hope everything goes well.

My Grandmother went into the hospital June 2nd. She was in ICU for 10 days then spent the next 20 days in a Rehabilitation hospital. She finally came home July 3rd. I'm glad I was there for a while when she first came home. My Grandparents really needed my help in the beginning.

I'm still having crazy dreams and sleepless nights. I don't know if they will ever go away. Sometimes I wish I could remember more of them so I could write them down and turn them into a story or something. Other days I'm glad I don't remember them. The last few days I woke up singing church songs in my head. I don't know why but I like it for now.

I was in a family ward, The Silver Springs Ward, Green Valley Stake until August. Now I'm in a singles ward, Red Rock Ward. I don't know what stake it is in. In July I got my Temple Recommand back. At first I was numb at when I went to the Temple. I have been praying a lot and trying to figure things out. I went this week for Sealings with my new ward and was excited I was there again.

I am so happy that I finally have hope again. I lost my hope for the future and for life. Hopefully the new job, the new roommates and everything else will be going well real soon. I doubt I will ever get married or have kids, find love or anything else like that. But I'm not giving up anymore on me or my life.

About Time

2009-05-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much for eveyone's prayer and thoughts for me. I have start a new job on Monday in Boulder City. It is through a temp agency but something is better than nothing. It is full time and not the part time they told me about originally.

I will still take the state test on June 1st. Just realized the date conflict. I will have to call the temp agency in the morning, they are closed already.

I love you all so much and I will keep you informed of what is going on.

Thank you!

WEC

2009-05-19T14:16:00.000-07:00

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This is interesting . . .

2009-05-19T14:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever worked for a toxic boss before. I seem to find them in almost every job I have. I thought this article by monster.com was very interesting.

Ten Warning Signs of a Toxic Boss
By Margot Carmichael Lester, Monster Contributing Writer

We've all heard stories about the nightmare of working for a toxic boss. Some of us have even had the unique displeasure of doing so ourselves.

Red flags to such behavior often appear as early as the interview process. We've compiled 10 warning signs of a toxic boss. Watch for them in the interview and you might be able to avoid a negative work environment -- or at least know what you're in for:

Disrespectful Behavior: "Don't overlook unprofessional behavior, such as emails that aren't returned or disregard for stop and start times for the interview without apology," says Anna Maravelas, president of TheraRising.com and author of How to Reduce Workplace Conflict and Stress. "These mini-moments are microcosms of your potential supervisor's style."

Visual Cues: "If your boss scans you from head to waist versus waist to head as they extend their hand in greeting you, they are intuitively sending a message that you are smaller than they are," explains Zannah Hackett, author of The Ancient Wisdom of Matchmaking. Though subtle, it's the nonverbal equivalent of a belittling comment. "This is not a good sign that your talents are going to flourish in this environment."

Defensive Body Language: "An insecure boss will find you threatening if you are good at your job and will use the power of the position to make your life miserable," says Pamela Lenehan, president of Ridge Hill Consulting and author of What You Don't Know and Your Boss Won't Tell You. Watch for constant shifting, avoiding eye contact or rifling through papers as you talk, she notes.

Bad Attitude: If your interviewer exhibits a general lack of enthusiasm or interest in the company, watch out, warns Donna Flagg, a principal with human resources and management consulting firm The Krysalis Group. It could be a bad day, or it could be a bad boss. "Ask for company turnover [data] and turnover [data] for that individual manager," she suggests.

Excessive Nervousness: Don't ignore extreme behavior, cautions one worker. "My boss used to eat sugar packets and raisins, and she downed them with large cups of black espresso," she recalls. "And she spoke in triplets: ‘hi, hi, hi,' ‘good, good, good,' ‘when, when, when.' Her stress level telegraphed to everyone in the department."

Distrust of Others: A toxic boss "openly displays a lack of trust in people, especially for those on the team in which he or she is supposed to lead," notes Gregg Stocker, author of Avoiding the Corporate Death Spiral: Recognizing & Eliminating the Signs of Decline. Ask what the company's problems are and what their causes might be. "If the answers to these questions consist of blaming others in the organization, especially those on his or her team, the person lacks trust in others."

Fear Used as a Motivator: Ask the prospective boss about others on the team with whom you will be working -- specifically, how well they work together, stay focused and meet objectives, Stocker advises. Be wary if the response identifies a lack of respect for people. When managers disrespect and distrust others' motivations, they resort to extrinsic means with which to motivate, such as threats, public humiliation and comments about layoffs.

Word Choice: "Your ears are your best hunch barometer," Hackett says. "Our choice of words sets up a dynamic that can raise or lower the energy in a room. If they begin every sentence with a negative message and then try to diffuse it somewhat, it is likely that negativity prevails in their life and carries over into work."

Extreme Friendliness: "It may sound odd, but what should have tipped me off was how nice she was," one administrative assistant says of her toxic boss. "I compare it to children being lured into dangerous situations with candy. How many kids don't want candy? And how many adults don't want to work for a boss who is nice? It was a trap I could've easily avoided had I caught on earlier."

Self-Absorption: "If his ideas seem to be more important than finding out about your ideas, or if you provide an answer and the interviewer tells you you're wrong or interrupts with his own answer to the question, it may be an indication that he will be difficult to work with," notes one technical support staffer.

Church Today

2009-05-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

I went to church today. It was a nice day at church. I had a hard time waking up at first but by the time sacrament meeting was over, I was good to go. I spoke to my Bishop today. I got some really nice council. Sunday school and Relief Society were nice too. I saw some younger woman in Relief Society and realized BYU is out for the summer.

A young boy came up to me as I was standing in the hall. I thought wow what a brave young man. He wanted to show me how me can make a paper airplane super fast. I asked if it could fly. He was so sure of himself and said 'of course its a plane'. So he tried throwing it a few times put it wouldn't fly. I then ripped a piece of paper put of my notebook and gave it to him. He asked me what the paper was for. I told him to make another airplane. He ran to his sister and had to show off the small piece of paper. It was cute.

I went to a YSA Conference fireside they were having locally. The place was packed. There were 2 speakers. The first one took his time and the second one talked super fast. While they were talking my friend was adding the scriptures to my palm pilot thing. Which I thought was super nice of him. Then after the fireside they served ice cream. It was a mad house. I thought the talks were nice. The theme song someone wrote was really awesome.

Oatman, AZ Trip

2009-05-15T15:07:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone here are the pictures from my Oatman, AZ trip last weekend.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T13:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mother's out there.

I don't want to forget about the soon-to-be Mothers or the women that one day will be Mothers. Happy Mother's Day to you too.

Mother's Day is a world wide event. It is celebrated differently in every culture. It isn't like Christmas where it is the same day everywhere but it is a good day none the less.

This is a link to the History of Mother's Day according the Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother's_Day

Here is a nice poem I found for this special day:

M... is for the million things she gave me,

O... means only that she's growing old,

T... is for the tears she shed to save me,

H... is for her heart of purest gold;

E... is for her eyes, with love-light shining,

R... means right, and right she'll always be.

Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER,"
A word that means the world to me.
--Howard Johnson (c. 1915)

Thank you to all the women who have acted like my Mother and to the one woman who is my mother. I love you all!

Today's Horoscope

2009-05-10T13:16:00.000-07:00

I'm a Cancer. I have the igoogle page set up and with that I have the daily horoscope. I usually don't pay to much attention to it but I really liked todays:

You may surprise yourself today because you are so willing to be involved in someone else's plan that you aren't worried about relinquishing control. You may even be eager to take your role as a passenger without trying to be a back seat driver. It really doesn't matter much what activities are on the day's itinerary. It's just the act of doing something new and different now that makes you smile.

Oatman, AZ

2009-05-09T22:48:00.000-07:00

I went to Oatman, AZ this morning with my Daughters of the Nile group. It is just outside of Laughin, NV / Bullhead City, AZ. It was a nice ride there and back. It is a very good day trip. They have about 20 shops with Route 66, Oatman, AZ and old miners themes.

We ate at the local restaurant which has $1 bills stapled to the wall every where. It is more than the wall paper. I had my first buffalo burger. It was so good and so lean. I wouldn't mind eating it again.

We saw an old fashion gun fight with the Outlaws of Oatman, AZ. I took several pictures with my friend's (the Queen) camera so I will get copies later.

Just before we left one of the shop owners told us if we show a carrot to one of the local wild mules (yes they walk every where and get into everything, they don't care) then put the carrot behind our back she will give us a kiss. Which I did, the mules name was Dotty and she gave me a kiss. My friend got a great picture of it. I can't wait for a copy.

The local mules were nice. One tried to eat the cell phone in my friends purse. You are not allowed to feed the baby mules (mainly because they will choke on the carrots) so they have stickers on there heads. Some of the mules hung out at a center store front, later discovered because they had a huge fan blowing nice cool air out the door. You could see there were 2 or 3 mules that were about to have a baby.

Oatman has a tattoo shop but it was closed for the summer. I thought that was super funny (specially since it is the beginning of May).

The gun show is twice a day, Noon and 2:15 PM. The Outlaws who do the show do it to raise money for the Shriners Children's Hospitals. Our Nile group went with some Shriners from Las Vegas. They received a check for the hospital the Las Vegas temple is over (I think its the Salt Lake City one but not sure). After the show they pass there hats around for donations as well as sell Outlaw bandannas and hats. At the Noon show they introduced the whole group. We got a picture of all of us with the Outlaws. I can't wait for a copy of that picture too.

All in all it was a nice day and a very nice trip. I would do it again and I would encourage others to go as well.

Going Second

2009-05-09T22:42:00.000-07:00

My friend Josh Alfaro is in a band called Going Second. They are based out of Utah. They finally came to Las Vegas and played a show here last night. They played at The Dive Bar where my Senior prom date and friend Antero Medrano is a bartender. It was nice hanging out a little bit with some people from Blythe.

The show was really good. I meet the members of the band and a good friend of Josh's. It was nice talking to everyone.

The band is on Facebook, Myspace and they have their own website www.goingsecond.com You should check them out. They are a rock band on the happier side of things. They have a really great sound and I wish them the best in the music industry.

The El Gizarettes

2009-05-08T18:32:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me, you know that I am once again, President of the El Gizarettes. The El Gizarettes is a dance unit in the Daughters of the Nile, Las Vegas, NV #139 Temple. This is my second term as president. Since I have become president I have created a central email address, online calendar, documents that members can print from the email address, as well as a website and a blog. I hope the next president keeps it up in the future.

This is the blog address:

http://elgizarettes.blogspot.com/

This is the website page address:

http://sites.google.com/site/theelgizarettes/

You should check it out and see what we have been up to.

American Superstars

2009-05-08T15:36:00.000-07:00

This last Saturday night I went to the show 'American Superstars' at the Stratosphere. I won the tickets at the fashion show that I was a model at. I took my friend Karen.

The show was really good. It started off with Elvis Presley, then Tim McGraw, Rod Stewart, Christina Aguilar and ended with Michael Jackson. It had the 4 show girls in and out of the whole show. You could take pictures with all of the performers after the show.

We then went to the top of the Stratopshere and walked around. It was nice. It was Karen's first time up there and my second. We looked over the railing. It was crazy to see how high we were.

Then we took pictures. The pictures were cute. I will upload it as soon as I can scan it in.

OES Annual Fashion Show

2009-04-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

The Daylight Chapter of Eastern Star that meets at the Vegas 32 Lodge did their annual fundraiser today. I was one of the models. I was a model a few years ago. The clothes are from Dillards at the Meadows Mall. The manager Shirely was a very nice lady.

Tips for Young Men

2009-04-22T01:06:00.001-07:00

This is something I put together to help out a young friend.

Tips for Every Young Man

 Wash your face every morning when you wake up. Use a face wash that is oil free and/or hypoallergenic. They make special face washes just for men. Wash your face every night before you go to bed.

 Use deodorant every day. It is ok to apply more than once a day. It is best if you apply it after every shower and right before you play sports and/or exercise.

 Shower every day, use soap or body wash with every shower. They make body wash and soap just for men.

 Shower after you are done working out and/or after playing sports

 Use cologne or body spray or after shave for dates, church, business meetings, special events (weddings etc). Body spray, after shave and cologne are alcohol based to dry quickly. Use 1 squirt or 1 spray or a dime size amount (everyone in the room shouldn’t smell you, only person who should smell you is you and if someone is less than 1 inch from you). Don’t use it every day (let your deodorant do its job).

 Try a product for 1 to 2 weeks to 1 month before you decide if you like it or not, if you know if it works for you or not.

 Wash your hands every single time before you eat anything.

 Drink at least 1 glass of milk every day. If you are lactose intolerant take calcium pills.

 Take a daily multi-vitamin. They have one a day vitamins for teens and for men. If you are a teen (13 – 19 take teen vitamin, 20 + take men vitamin) (I use the brand Once a Day because the lack of an after taste when you take the vitamin).

 Use moisturizer every time you wash your face, use and oil free one and / or hypoallergenic moisturizer (they make a version just for males)

 If you have acne use a cream or gel with Benzoyl Peroxide and/or Salicylic Acid (test both to see what works for your skin and life style). Apply after you wash your face but before you use a moisturizer.

 If your skin is dry, chapped and/or irritated use lotion. They make unscented lotions and lotions for men.

 For straight hair, use a straitening cream, lotion, product, there is also spray version and gel version. Apply when hair is wet then blow dry hair. Then straighten hair with a flat iron. Then apply a straitening product again. Please read directions of the product before use, there are several different kinds, some for wet hair only, some for dry hair only and some that can be used o dry or wet hair.

 Brush your teeth every morning and every night.

 Rinse with mouth wash that fights gum diseases. They say the health of your teeth leads to the health of your whole body.

 Floss every day, preferably every morning and every night right before you brush your teeth.

 Eat a balanced diet, you will not live forever and you will be able to do more with your life if you eat your veggies, fruit, meat, etc. If you do, your skin, muscles and your whole body will be happier, look better and feel better.

 Write in your journal at least once a day (this is good for mental health, it is ok if you only write 1 sentence every day, just do it) You don’t have to share or show your journal to anyone ever. It is your choice.

 Trust someone, specially your parents, they only want the best for you.

 Drink at least one glass of water every day

 Use chap stick, they make a version just for men that isn’t glossy.

 Use sun block if you plan on being in the sun for more than an hour in a day.

 Be physically active for at least 1 hour a day every day. If you are going to be active for more than 2 hours in a day, drink water, PowerAde, Gatorade and/or juice. Soda should a treat.

 If you have a question, research it online and/or ask someone for help.

 Always read the directions on a product before you buy it and/or before you use it.

* These tips can also be used for woman/young ladies.

7 Ways to Conquer Acne

2009-04-22T00:38:00.000-07:00

7 Ways To Conquer Acne

By Priya Shah

Reports show that over 90 percent of all adolescents and almost 25 percent of all adults suffer from acne at some time. Acne affects males and females worldwide, regardless of nationality.

The most effective methods to combat acne include a combination of prevention and better skincare.

Here are some of the ways you can use to prevent and treat acne:

1. Exercise
Regular exercise can help fight acne by fighting off negative stress levels that can come from negative self-esteem and depression. But avoid wearing tight lycra and nylon exercise outfits. These synthetic fabrics that tend to trap body moisture and heat, creating an ideal environment for bacteria to grow. Stick to loose clothing made of cotton or natural blends, and keep your sports gear and equipment clean.

2. Safe Cosmetics
To avoid pore-clogging and skin irritations that can contribute to acne, use products labeled "noncomedogenic" or "oil-free." Opt for "hypo-allergenic" perfumes and cosmetics to avoid allergic reactions and skin irritation. Coal tar derivatives, carmine and heavy cream in blushes can cause reactions.

Shimmering facial colors can contain a flaky mineral called mica that can cause skin irritations and clog pores. Use a lip gloss with a matte finish for less pore-clogging. The more the shine, the more then comedogenic content and the more your pores can clog.

3. Healthy Diet
Studies show that diet does not play a role in either the cause or the treatment of acne. However, what is best for your body is best for your skin. So make sure you get enough vitamins, minerals and supplements that have been known and recommended to prevent and help conquer acne breakouts. These include

Vitamin A or Retinol (High doses are toxic)
Vitamin B Complex
Vitamin C
Vitamin E
L-Carnitine
Zinc

A good quality brand name multivitamin will probably have the recommended vitamins and minerals that you need to help with acne prevention. Drinking plenty of fluids throughout the day and making good, healthy dietary food choices.

3. Hormonal Treatment
Hormones (or a lack of them) during later years - especially for women - can play a role in acne flare-ups and prevention. One recent study showed that about 50 percent of women have acne, referred to as hormonal acne, problems during the week before their menstruation.

Treatment options include topical retinoids, oral antibiotics and Benzoyl Peroxide for teen years. For adults oral contraceptives or hormonal birth control pills and hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) may be helpful for women, combined with systemic or topical treatments, prescription or over-the-counter products and medications.

4. Healthy Skin Regimen
Avoid harsh scrubbing or over-washing, because this can cause possible skin irritation or possible over production of oil to replace what's washed off, clogging pores in the process. Use products with gentle exfoliation ingredients and skip products that contain alcohol.

5. Acne Products
Some of the more popular products on the market that can prevent acne include:

Benzoyl Peroxide
Proactiv® Solution
Salicylic Acid
Retinoids
Antibiotics
Oral Contraceptives
Anti-Androgens
Isotretinoin (Accutane)

6. Shaving
Shaving is actually an excellent way of exfoliating or removing dead skin to help with the prevention and spreading of acne instead of leaving the remains to clog pores. And for some light acne cases already in process, shaving can help rid whiteheads and blackheads from the face. Do not shave areas taht are sore or infected. Use a shaving cream for sensitive skin.

Shave with a sharp blade. Use gentle swipes instead of heavy pressure and go with the flow or "grain." A single-edged blade is better than a twin-blade razor. Electric razors may not shave as close to the skin, but they help with the prevention of acne and other skin breakouts and flare-ups better.

7. Stress
Stress includes external and internal stressors. External Stressors are those that compromise your skin's ability to heal, like oily make-up and too much sun. Internal stressors like anxiety, fear, low self-esteem, depression and a variety of other internalized emotions, can trigger chemical reactions inside your body that can result in acne flare-ups and other skin irritations.

To combat internal stressors and prevent acne problems, get plenty of rest and sleep. Try to maintain regular hours. Keep a check list of "Things that Calm You" handy for stressful times, like reading a book, resting, listening to music, taking a walk, going out for an ice cream cone, etc.

_______________________________________________

Copyright © 2005 Priya Shah

Priya Shah is the editor of The Glutathione Report and Health Naturale . "Get Rid of Acne," is a comprehensive report on acne treatment and remedies available at Treat Acne

This article may be reprinted as long as the resource box is left intact and all links are hyperlinked.

_______________________________________________

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

This is an article I found that I liked. I agree with pretty much everything is says. One thing I discovered that works for me is a hypo-allergnic moistuerzier with sunblock about 10 oz mixed with 1 oz of Benzoyl Peroxide 10% cream and .5 oz of oil-free / hypo-allergnic liquid foundation. I put this on after I wash my face every morning and every night.

I also know of people who tan in a tanning booth for 10 minutes once a week to clear their acne. This is not for the color, there is no spray tan. It doesn't work with sun bathing from what I understand. Only the tanning booths.

Embracing Hope Part 1

2009-04-22T00:24:00.000-07:00

This is something I heard part of on tv and had to find out more about. I discovered it was on byu broadcasting.org under devotions and talks. The part I heard made me cry and I think helped me with my past. There is an audio version on the website for those who want to listen to it. It was part of a conference BYU did called 'Embracing Hope". I want to listen to more of them but I haven't had the time to do so. I just wanted to share this is everyone.

There are parts of my life that I don't share with others because of pain, hurt, embracement, fear and not wanting to remember what happened. Many of you will never understand, we are all given things in our lives to deal with and get over. Things to move past and overcome. Any help to whatever the source should be taken with consideration. You don't have to listen to what they are telling you but at least paying attention may help. You just never know.

The following is a transcript of a live presentation given at Brigham Young University on October 23, 2002 by Chieko Okazaki.

My dear brothers and sisters, aloha! This is an unusual experience for me; the conference organizers asked me to speak to you today giving an address I prepared for a regional women’s conference in Portland, Oregon, in the late fall of 1992. That was ten years ago. So this is something of an anniversary for me. A few weeks later, in January of 1993, at the request of Sheri Dew, I taped this talk for Deseret Book. It sold thousands of copies, and even today nearly everywhere I speak, one or two or more women come up afterwards and quietly say to me, “Thank you for that tape. It helped me a lot.” I love the text to be published in a compilation of addresses titled Disciples that Deseret Book brought out in September of 1998, and here I am, giving this address again.

I am indeed honored to be asked, honored to participate in this assignment, and I am greatly saddened by the fact that the information in this talk still keenly relevant to so many members of the Church today. I have never experienced sexual abuse, nor has anyone in my family, but many friends, acquaintances, and troubled Relief Society sisters have honored me with their confidences. President Hinckley and President Monson have condemned this shocking sin in strong terms that brought it sharply to our awareness. In April conference this year, both President Hinckley and President Packer again repudiated this grievous sin. President Hinckley as recently as General Conference earlier this month denounced such sexual abuse again, warning that those who committed it could face action on their membership. I personally believe that the growing awareness of and resistance to sexual abuse in the fulfillment of the scripture which says, “There is nothing covered that shall not be revealed, neither hid that shall not be known. Therefore, whatsoever ye have spoken [and I would add, have done] in darkness shall be heard in the light, and proclaimed upon the housetops.” Each survivor who tells her or his story, each individual who reports abuse, each police officer who arrests a perpetrator, each judge and jury who enforce the law, and each person who teaches children to protect themselves and to report abuse are part of fulfilling this prediction of Jesus Christ about the last days. This evil must be exposed before it can be repented of, and it must be repented of.

Brothers and sisters, let me share with you how I came to speak on this topic. I was the first counselor of the general presidency in the Relief Society at that time, and when I was invited to speak in Portland, I asked the stake Relief Society president about her concerns and the needs of the women in that area. When she sent me the list, one topic leaped out at me: sexual abuse. I felt a burden laid upon me from the Spirit that this was the message I was to speak in Portland. This was a very difficult thing for me to do. When I speak of love or faith or service or sisterhood, I often sense an easing of burdens and brightening in the feelings of those I address. Would this topic add to the burdens and intensify the pain of those who were already suffering? Did I know enough to be helpful, or would I injure those through clumsiness and ignorance? I fasted and prayed. I thought deeply and continually during the period of preparation. I consulted the stake president in the area. Most of all, I sought the Spirit of the Savior, that I would fulfill the responsibility laid upon me in the way that he would have me to do, that I would speak with clarity and with comfort for my own place of love and trust, that I could put an arm around a struggling sister and for a few steps help her walk the long, painful path of spiritual healing. My prayers were answered. In Portland I discovered that I had come to a place and a people prepared to hear this message. Several groups were already dealing explicitly with the support and healing of survivors. Priesthood leaders were informed, understanding, and supportive. I felt heard. People told me that they understood my message and felt the witness of the Spirit. It was both a sobering and an uplifting experience for me, and it has continued. I pray deeply and sincerely that the same Spirit will attend this occasion.
The case of physical or sexual abuse poses particular challenges. In such cases, we have to develop simultaneously protection against the abuse, shape a pattern of life for ourselves that means we do not become immoral and abusive in turn, and finally develop the ability to forgive those who have violated our agency and damaged our trust. I have chosen to focus on trust because I think that out of all the consequences of abuse, out of the pain and grief and shame and hurt and anger and sorrow and cynicism and rage and withdrawal and rejection of self and rejection of others, out of all these consequences, I think that the loss of trust may be the very worst of all. I want to talk about betrayal of trust in context of sexual abuse, and then talk about how to restore it.

One of the most powerful parts of the gospel for me is its promise of peace. I love the Lord’s reassuring words: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” Yet that message, which he spoke to his apostles in Palestine in the context of teaching them about the second comforter, he repeated to Joseph Smith, that imbedded in very troublesome message, the Lord told Joseph Smith: “Therefore renounce war and proclaim peace and seek diligently to turn the hearts of the children to their fathers and the hearts of the fathers to the children, lest I come and smite the whole earth with a curse and all flesh be consumed before me. Let not your hearts be troubled, for in my father’s house are many mansions, and I have prepared a place for you, and where my father and I am, there ye shall be also.” Here he talks of war, of the hearts of fathers turned away from their children, of the cursing of the earth and the consuming of all flesh. This is a message that is very relevant, I believe, to sexual abuse. What the Savior told the Saints in a message annunciated in his day and repeated in ours is a very hard message: that war and unloving behavior and trouble and heartbreak and even betrayal are part of human life. We can count on our Heavenly Father, and we can count on the love of Christ as we struggle to love each other, but even at its best, no human love will be perfect. Perhaps betrayal is too harsh a word for most of the difficult experiences that we have. A gentler way of saying it is that everybody is going to let you down. Your spouse is not perfect; your children will disappoint you in some ways. People in your ward won’t always be thoughtful and neighborly, but betrayal is not too harsh a word for the situation in which the trust of innocent and powerless children does not protect them against physical and sexual abuse from a parent, a sibling, a teacher, or from another member of the Church, someone, in short, whose responsibility before God is to protect and nurture.

I have eight messages that I want to share about the terrible betrayal of sexual abuse. The first is this: sexual abuse is a problem for all of us, both men and women, whether we have experienced it personally or not. The most conservative statistic I have heard is that one woman in ten is sexually abused before she is eighteen. The worst I have heard is that the figure is closer to one in three. One in three. A comparable statistic for the sexual abuse of boys is one in ten, and researchers feel that the sexual abuse of boys is even more severely underreported than the sexual abuse of girls. There are no systematic studies of which I am aware done on Mormon men and Mormon women, but those who work with LDS women and men as counselors and therapists say they have no reason to believe that the statistics are any different for them than for the national population.

Now think about the worst statistics: one in three. If you are a woman, it means that you have a 33 percent chance of being that woman. If you are a man, it means that your wife, your mother, or your daughter, may be that woman. If you have three daughters, if you have three sisters, if you have three daughters-in-law, if you have three granddaughters, this terrible evil could have entered your family’s life with or without your knowledge. Consider the men in your life. Think about your sons and grandsons, your missionary companions. Did one of them struggle silently with this spiritual burden? If you have worked in three elders’ quorum presidencies or bishoprics or stake presidencies, the statistical odds are that one of them bore this grievous, invisible wound. Think of your friends; think of the women sitting in your Relief Society and the men sitting in the priesthood meeting. Think of the children in your Primary. Sexual abuse is a problem for all righteous women and all righteous men everywhere.

The second message is that sexual abuse is not the child’s fault. Sometimes we hear statements from people suggesting that sometimes a victim of sexual abuse has some kind of responsibility for the abuse. I asked a woman, a former Relief Society president who had been sexually abused by her father when she was a child, to help me understand why some people feel that women who are raped or wives who are battered or little girls or boys who with sexual abuse may have done something to cause this evil to come upon them. With her permission, I share her answer. She said, “I think for some, it must have something to do with an understandable desire to believe that parents cannot, and therefore, would not do this without some provocation from their children. I don’t know what will help those who want to believe that as Saints we are immune to such impulses.” She continues, “I often find myself wondering why even we who knows our parents as abusers continue to protect them by idealizing them. At the heart of them, I think it is my child’s self-interested hope of escaping pain. She thinks, ‘He’s not bad; I’m bad. If he’s bad, I’m inevitably at risk. If I’m bad, I can be safe because I can stop being bad. If I can believe that I’m making my father do this to me, I can believe that I can make him stop.’ Accepting such responsibility,” she says, “becomes a way of not feeling the absolute despair of conscious powerlessness and the inevitability of recurring attack without possibility of rescue. Of course,” she said, “the hope is in vain, but the time blocked at the price of guilt and shame can save one’s sanity. Eventually the little child must go back and feel the despair, but only when she has matured enough to bear it.

Now the third message I have is that women and men who have been sexually abused probably need professional help and certainly need personal support. In the vast majority of cases, they need professional help because sexual abuse, and particularly incest, attacks the very foundation of their identity. They need our personal support because they have learned not to trust other people and not even to trust themselves. Sometimes they have terrible memories which they deny. Sometimes there are even more terrible gaps in their memories, which they are terrified to explore. Such profound isolation from other people can come close to a kind of insanity.

One man who shared his experiences of being sexually abused by his father told me, “I told all alone at church a lot of the time. In fact, I have not attended my meetings sometimes for up to a year because I cannot face the members.” And then he told about his agony at sitting through a lesson in which our responsibility to forgive was presented as an absolute requirement. When he tried to suggest that sometimes it is not possible to forgive until some healing has taken place, his comment was received judgmentally and without understanding. The teacher rebuked him, and when he tried to explain his feelings, a heated debate developed. He said wistfully, “I wish that I felt safe and accepted during elders’ quorum, but every time I enter that room that I am commanded to go into, I feel as though I’m going in front of a firing squad.” Normal happy voices, respectful listening, and simple trust can sometimes be lifelines. If you have a friend who needs someone to listen, and if you can be a voice of steadfast love for her or him, please accept that burden if you can. If there are things you can’t understand, please ask questions but also acknowledge you may not want to talk about this and that’s okay. We must never seek to know more than a man or woman is willing to share. We must never violate the privacy of survivors as their bodies and their sense of self have been violated in the past, and we must never betray their trust. That would add one more betrayal to the burden they already carry. Please be wise in your support. Don’t take on more than you can handle, and don’t try to become a therapist. Instead encourage your friend to get professional help while you maintain a close loving contact.

Fourth, women and men who are coming to terms with sexual abuse need all the spiritual help they can get. Pray with them if you wish. Pray for them. Encourage them to seek priesthood blessings. Read the scriptures with them if they wish. Encourage them to read their patriarchal blessings. Attend church functions with them if they need companionship. Go with them to the temple if they want to go. My friend told me that a very important part of her own willingness to start working on her abuse was receiving a blessing from a priesthood holder when she was just beginning to suspect sexual abuse in her past. Her own memories were chaotic and unclear, and she was reluctant to seek the blessings, she says, because, “I needed some guidance from the Lord that I wasn’t able to trust myself to hear. You see, I very much did not want to open a door that could not be closed. I wanted to get on with my life. I feared destroying by my becoming conscious of these things the hard-won and fragile peace in my family, and I was hanging on to the hope that I was making all of this up.” My friend was not making it up, of course, and the priesthood blessing told her things that she did not consciously know about until later. For instance, he told her in the blessing that her mother had played a role in her abuse. Later my friend discovered that her mother did in fact know about the abuse and had refused to help her. Think how much strength you would need to bear that terrible knowledge.

Fifth, those of you who are teachers and leaders have a special role in play in supporting a man or a woman who’s going through the aftermath of abuse. I would hope that every teacher in the Church will remember that in his or her classroom is almost certainly at least one person who has survived sexual abuse. With that person in mind, think of the stories you tell, the questions that you ask, and perhaps most importantly, the assumptions you make. Think of a seven-year-old girl whose father sexually abuses her. What does she feel when the Primary sings, “I’m so glad when my daddy comes home”? Think of a twelve-year-old boy who is physically and sexually abused by an uncle who is the stake patriarch. How does he deal with his confusion during a lesson which teaches that we should obey our priesthood leaders because they want what is best for us? Think of a woman whose husband beats and rapes her. What feelings go through her mind as a Relief Society teacher explains that it is the wife’s responsibility to maintain the spiritual atmosphere in the home and to support the priesthood? To these confused, despairing children and adults in pain, the teachers speak with the voice of the Church. Such messages have a great potential for increasing their pain and despair. Leaders play an especially important role. Parents and husbands, authority figures, and abusive authority figures may make it seem virtually impossible for someone who has been equally sexually abused to seek help from yet another authority figure. But I have had several survivors of sexual abuse tell me that the consistent concern of a priesthood leader, even when he did not fully understand the issue or what was happening, literally kept them from committing suicide. Blessings and respectful listening are very important. They validate to a survivor that he or she is not making it up and does not have to go through the healing process alone.

My friend shared one specific way in which leaders can perform a very real service for survivors in that situation. She pointed out that self-doubt is one of the inescapable results of enduring abuse. “That is why,” she continued gently, “it is so painful when others stand at the pulpit and doubt you, too. I think the reassurance of receiving a blessing from a priesthood leader spared me any further delay from the hopeful doubt that the work ahead of me didn’t need to be done. With the blessing I had permission to undertake the cure.” She continues, “That is one enormous contribution Church leaders can make: give permission to take the cure. Release the victims from having to continue to take care of their victimizers. If you wish to challenge the victims of child abuse, do not challenge the reality of their memories or accuse them of being responsible for what happened to them. Rather, challenge them to take responsibility for their own fate while expressing sympathy for the painful undertaking this will be. And always hold out the promise of the Savior that “I am with you even to the end.’ Who can do this better than those who are his witnesses.”

Another woman who had survived years of sexual abuse from her father spoke to me of the dreadful task of healing. I think of the Savior who shuddered because of the suffering, who suffered and bled at every pore, and drew back from the bitter cup, hoping that it was not necessary. He shrank away, but it was necessary. He says, “And I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.” Children of men is a stock phrase in the scriptures that means all human beings or the human family, but in this context, I hope you will also hear it as a literal phrase, as the little children who have been betrayed and injured at the hands of men, especially who were entrusted with their care. Christ finished his preparations for these children. The time of their physical torment may be over, but the time of their spiritual torment is great. Christ also adds significantly, “Glory be to the father.” For him, accepting and fulfilling the atonement was a dreadful task, but because he did it, we too can lift the dreadful cup to our lips. The scriptures tell us, “He descended below all things in that he comprehended all things, that he might be in all, and through all things the light of truth, which truth shineth, this is the light of Christ.” It may seem inconceivable that the light of Christ is eradiating and illuminating the horrifying images and memories associated with sexual abuse, but such is his promise. If this is your situation, cling to that promise. Cling to the light, and let it grow stronger.
The sixth message I want to share is that healing from sexual abuse is a very long and very painful process. According to one study that included LDS women, being able to reach the ultimate step of forgiving the perpetrator and moving on took an average of fifteen years. Many women and men who have been sexually abused respond in ways that they cannot control, with irrational fears and compulsive behaviors, even in repeated transgressions. Very often they are so filled with guilt and self-loathing that repentance seems impossible for them. Let me borrow an image from a sensitive bishop who works hard to help members of his ward who have been sexually abused. He urges leaders, family, and friends to realize that their loved one, a ward member, has been injured, just as if he or she had broken a leg that had never been set properly. Even though the person can walk and may have forgotten about the injury, true healing and true strength cannot return until the injury is acknowledged, the bone rebroken, and the leg set correctly. Please recognize and realize that someone who has been sexually abused has been deprived of part of her or his free agency. The individual cannot get it back except through the long and difficult process of healing from sexual abuse. If you are willing to make a commitment to be a friend during this process, make a long-term commitment. Often when we acknowledge a problem, we want it fixed quickly. We think a few visits to a therapist, a few priesthood blessings, a few tears shed, a few hugs should make everything all right. Not so. The process of healing may be more complex than I realize, different for each survivor, but let me share with you again what my friend says: “It is hard to answer questions that one hasn’t been asked, to explain to people who already think they know, to talk to people who do not talk to you. It is especially hard when their talking to you is an attempt to make the subject go away. I want it to go away, too. I thought it would go away after I woke up screaming in the night, or after it made me so afraid I would throw up over and over, or after I’d recovered the three-year-old and the six-year-old parts of myself, or after I wrote the letter to my father, or after, or after--the pain just ebbs and flows. I am in so much pain that I will do anything to pass through this as efficiently as possible. A lake cannot repent of its pollutants; it can only submit to being dredged and flushed of its debris and poisons. I am learning that the pain is not an end in itself, but it leads me to what I am to learn, and with each lesson, I get more of my life back.”

Now the closing words of her most recent priesthood blessing assured her “that Christ not only sorrows at my suffering, but suffers with me as I suffer. I am amazed at the love he offers me. I also lose what hope I had of escaping my pain any other way than by experiencing it. I wanted to be otherwise; then I remember Alma’s great testimony that Christ will descend below all things that he may succor his people according to their infirmities.” And then she continues, “I remember my own experience of being with someone who is suffering, knowing that it is their fate and that all I can offer is to suffer with them. Though I would take it away or explain it away or find someone else who would and who could, the Spirit tells me that it cannot be done and that I must stand there in the pain with them in the suffering.”

The seventh point I want to make involves the perpetrator. I realize that women also physically and sexually abuse children. What I saw applies to them as well, but in most cases of sexual abuse involving women, girls, or boys, the perpetrator is male. As women we know the victims and hear their stories, but we also know perpetrators. Most abusers have mothers, wives, daughters, and sisters, yet the secrecy with which we shroud the victim is nothing to the secrecy with which we shroud the perpetrator. When the abuse is incest, that means that a wife and a mother either does not know or chooses not to know what her husband is doing to their child. She may love him and choose to not know what is happening because the knowledge is too painful, because she feels to helpless, because there is too much to lose. Please remember the words of the Savior: “And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck and he were cast into the sea.” If you know a perpetrator and if you love him or if you love his victim, set the processes in motion so that the perpetrator can receive help and start on his own process of healing. He needs professional help; he also needs ecclesiastical help, and he has committed a crime which he must answer for in the courts of justice. My friend was born into an LDS family that had been active in the Church for generations on both sides. That lineage did not make her father pure; it did not make her mother brave. It did not protect my friend. I implore you not to shield perpetrators out of mistaken sense of love. I’ve never seen any studies suggesting that those who sexually abuse children will alter their behavior without direct intervention. We must believe this message. No child in the neighborhood is safe from a sexual abuser. No child or grandchild in a family is safe. In many ways, the whole topic of sexual abuse is strange to me. I feel unskilled in thinking about or in knowing how to help someone who is a survivor. I’m one of the other two women, not the third. I think of my father, of his steadfast willingness to work his life away as a laborer on a plantation in Hawaii to provide for his parents, for my mother, for me and my brothers. I think of his quiet pride in me and the determination he and my mother had that I would get an education even when that meant sending me away from them, even when it meant sending me beyond economic and social level they had reached. I think about my husband, who lived his life for others in the purest expression of Christ-like love I have ever known. I think about my two sons, strong and gentle and loving. My heart is filled with gratitude to the point of overflowing for these men in my life. Then I think about other daughters who are brutally taught that they exist as instruments to serve the twisted sexual needs of their fathers. I think about sons who are abused until they grow up thinking that all fathers torture their sons. I think of wives who live with the threat of physical abuse from their husbands or turn their heads away from the tears of their daughters or other mothers who see their sons grow up to become abusive husbands. I am filled with sorrow.

My eighth message is that we can do much to stop the abuse before it starts by holding the men and women in our lives to gospel standards. I’ve heard the disgusting report that some incestuous fathers justify their vile behavior by saying they are simply carrying out the Church’s instructions to make sex education a topic that is handled in the home. We can refuse to accept rationalizations and twisted logic. We can label such behavior for the sin and the crime that it is. We can raise sons and daughters who do not make disparaging remarks about other girls or boys or who think that they can bully anyone else just because they are stronger. We can teach children to feel ownership of their own bodies and to trust their feelings. We can insist that our sons respect the young women they date. We can raise daughters who have a sense of themselves and daughters of God too strong to submit to abusive treatments from their husbands. But perhaps most importantly, we can be adults who accept fully our divine identity as children of our Heavenly Father. We can accept and be ennobled by the eternal sacrifice of Christ’s atonement, not for someone else, but for us, ourselves. We can refuse to accept abuse, to make excuses for an abuser, or to turn our heads away from those who have suffered abuse. We can refuse to keep the guilty secrets of abusive men and women in our families, our wards, and our neighborhoods who are damaging and destroying innocence.
I have spoken today of us and them as though all of us are the fortunate two or the fortunate nine and as though the one statistical victim of abuse is someone else, a woman or man who is a statistic in another state, a person who is comfortably distant so that we do not have to deal with his or her pain. This is not the impression I want to leave. We are all here together in this Church. We are all here together in this problem, and we must be all part of the solution. How is it possible to reveal trust that has been betrayed? When the fabric of our lives is ripped and wrenched, what will make it whole? Let me use the analogy of a piece of lace or a crocheted dolly or a cat’s cradle. All of them begin with a long, straight thread or string. It becomes complex and beautiful when it touches other parts and other strings, but all of them are fragile. They can be shredded, unraveled, and torn, but we need to remember that there is a pattern. Even if it is damaged, it can be rewoven. Second, each part supports the other parts and is connected to them. You cannot pick one string out without destroying the whole pattern. I am part of the pattern. The bishop who sits with the injured members of the ward while they face the injury and begin healing is part of that pattern. My friend who discovered the abuse buried deep in memories of her childhood is part of the pattern. You are part of this pattern, and the Savior is part of this pattern. I like to think of the Savior’s love as filling the spaces in the lace where there is no thread because there wouldn’t be a pattern if there weren’t spaces. I think of him as the intersections where the threads come together, making something special happen where they touch and connect. We can be part of this network of service and support, and we can be part of the Savior’s pattern.

And now how can you build and keep that image in your mind? One thing that helps is to find a scripture that breathes a promise of healing to you or a hymn or a poem. When I was recovering from the sudden death of my beloved husband, who died in the spring of 1992, I clung to the second verse of “Abide with Me,” which says: “Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day. Earth joys grow dim; it glories pass away. Change and decay in all around I see. O thou who changest not, abide with me!” The promise of the sacrament prayer, that we may always have his spirit to be with us, is another promise of great power and consolation. Hymn 115, “Come Ye Disconsolate,” acknowledges pain but also promises hope. Let me read the first verse: “Come ye disconsolate, where’er ye languish; come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel. Here bring your wounded hearts; here tell your anguish.” And then it promises and says, “Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot cure.” These words breathe a spirit of comfort and consolation to me. I hope they do the same for you, that you can find others that speak the same strength from the Savior, the same never failing support and love. When times are hard for you and when you struggle with emotions you wish you didn’t have, will you think of them again? Draw deeply from their strength. But there is healing in the gospel and in the unfailing love of our Father in Heaven. How do we rebuild our trust in the Lord and in other human beings when a human being has so seriously violated that trust? First accept that you will have very conflicting emotions. It is normal that you should. Psalm 55 seems to me to be something like a dialogue between the hurt and the injured self and the self that trusts in the Lord. Listen as I read it, adapted slightly to this situation; first the troubled and pained voice speaks: “Listen to my prayer, O God. Do not ignore my plea. Hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me, and I am distraught at the voice of the enemy, at the stares of the wicked, for they bring down suffering upon me.” And now this seems to me to be the very antithesis of the Savior’s reassuring promise when he said, “Let not your hearts be troubled.” And in a situation of betrayal and violated trust, even our memories bring down suffering upon us, so the troubled voice continues and says, “My heart is in anguish within me. The terrors of death assail me. Fear and trembling have beset me. Horror has overwhelmed me. I said, O that I had the wings of a dove. I would fly away and be at rest. I would flee away to my place of shelter.” Then the sense of betrayal comes out sharply, and it says, “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it. If a fool were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a person like myself, my companion, my close friend with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we watched with the throng at the house of God. This person attacks his friends and children; he violates his covenant. His words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords.” Now as sisters and brothers we can understand this. Because of this betrayal comes rage, violent anger, even a desire for revenge. Now listen to the voice of the Psalmist as he prays in anger and despair: “Let death take my enemies by surprise. Let them go down alive to the grave. Bring down the wicked into the pit of corruption, bloodthirsty and deceitful men will not live out half their days.” But then, ah, then comes the voice of promise and reassurances and says: “But I call to God and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning, and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me. Cast thy burden on the Lord and he shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Thou, O God, I will trust in thee.” Accept that ye will deal with much emotional turbulence, with anger and pain, with desire for revenge with a desire to flee away. Accept that the process of having the corruption drained away is a long and painful process. Trust in the Lord throughout that process. Second, find others whom you can trust. I think it is very important that you seek out your bishop or another priesthood leader when you feel you can and share this burden. It may be hard to talk to a man if a man was your abuser. Find a trusted woman leader to talk to and accompany you when you are ready to go to your priesthood leader. In material prepared with the support of the Brigham Young University’s Women’s Research Institute, I quote, “Victims need to be believed. They need to be listened to. They need to be relieved of any inappropriate guilt about their role in the abuse. Many women reported the strength they felt as their bishops and therapists worked together. This arrangement allows bishops to concentrate on the spiritual and physical welfare of their ward members while the trained professional works with the victim to resolve emotional issues.” One of the women was so anxious and frightened about going to her bishop that she wouldn’t let him shut the door of his office during their first conversation. But when he heard her story, “he cried with me,” she said, “and that is when I started trusting him. He is the first man I ever remember trusting. I gave my therapist permission to talk with him to better understand how he could best help me.” And now another woman reported that her bishop was also initially baffled about how to help her, but he took the time to go out and get educated. He still keeps in touch with her even though she has moved to another state.

Third, do not try to rush or short circuit the forgiveness process, but continue to work towards it as you can. Wendy Ulrich, a psychologist in private practice, talks about the need to balance both justice and mercy during the process of coming to forgiveness. She writes, “The principle of justice requires an honest appraisal of our current systems and the realities of our pain. To forgive prematurely can close doors to the important realities that pain can open. Justice requires that we not assume responsibility for sins we have not committed, that we not assume power to control decisions we cannot control, and that we not exonerate others’ actions when they are dangerous and destructive. To attempt to be merciful in the absence of justice is to deny the characteristics which make God God. The principle of mercy follows the principle of justice but cannot rob it. Mercy allows peace to come to the forgiver as he or she enlarges her understanding of all contributors, take action on his or her own behalf, and extends to others the mercy he or she would claim for himself or herself through the atonement of Christ. The forgiver leaves to God the sorting out of responsibility and intentions, acknowledging others’ circumstances and agency and accepting any and all good consequences that have come from his or her relationship, just as he or she has acknowledged the evil.”

Brothers and sisters, we still have our free agency no matter what other people do to us and even if we must work hard to regain parts of it that have been taken away. Our Heavenly Father’s spirit is constantly available to us. He sorrows with us and is with us in our pain when abuse occurs. He is there when we start to make the first steps back. His love is steadfast. We may feel betrayed by our family, our Church, our society, and even by God, but God does not betray us. His love is never changing. I want to read to you another psalm, and I want you to speak the words in your own mind to imagine that this is your psalm, spoken in gratitude and praise to the Lord: “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer. In him will I trust. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my high tower and my refuge, my Savior, thou savest me from violence. When the ways of death compass me, the floods of the ungodly made me afraid. The sorrows of hell compass me about; the snares of death captured me. In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he did hear my voice out of his temple and my cry did enter into his ears. He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy and from them that hated me. He delivered me because he delighteth in me. Thou art my lamp, O Lord. Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation, and thy gentleness hath made me great. Thou hast girded me with strength to battle. The Lord liveth, and blessed be my rock, and exalted by the God of the rock of my salvation.”

Perhaps these are not words that are in your heart yet. I pray that someday they may be, that the words of other scriptures sink deep into your heart. Hear his voice saying, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” He knows the burdens with which you struggle. He understands your heartbreak, your self-doubt, the anger, and the despair. Perhaps when he says, “Come unto me,” all you feel is paralysis. If you feel you cannot go to him, remember that he is already with us. Listen to his words from Hebrew 13: “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” So that we may boldly say, “The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what others shall do unto me.” Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today, and forever. Matthew records the Savior’s final words to his apostles: “Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” In 2nd Kings, the Savior speaks gently to a sorrowing person: “I have heard thy prayer. I have seen thy tears; behold, I will heal thee. Go up unto the house of the Lord.” Now think of those words as if they were spoken to you, and listen to this promise of the end times as though it were your vision: “And I, John, heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold the tabernacle of God is among us, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither there shall be any more pain for the former things are passed away.” Believe that assurance. Believe the prophets who promise us, “And he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness, and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female.” What greater bondage can there be than being enchained by a sin from which you cannot even repent because it was not you who committed it? I implore you to turn to the Savior. I testify to you that when the scriptures tell us, “He descended below all things,” it means that he understands, knows, and accepts the pain of sexual abuse, as well as other kinds of innocent suffering. He is there with you in that suffering. I tell you that I love you. I pray daily for you, for your help and healing. For those of you who have been spared the scourge of abuse, I ask you to open the circles of your sisterhood and brotherhood. Include those whose trust has been betrayed by those who should have been their protectors. Open your hearts to them. Let them open their hearts to you. This is a burden that is grievous to be born. May we shoulder it together, not many adjust it upon the backs of those who have born it so long alone. May we love each other with a pure unselfish active love as the Savior has loved us. May our troubled hearts find the peace we seek with him, I pray, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

The Latest on Me

2009-04-22T00:09:00.000-07:00

So I am still officially unemployed. I still don't have a car and my lease is up on my apartment at the end of the month. I haven't had a study job since my birthday last year.

I will be moving all of my things into a storage unit and I will be living with my Grandparents in Henderson, NV.

I have been applying everywhere I get leads. Places on careerbuilder.com, monster.com, jobconnect.com and other verious places. My odd jobs are mending, alterations, house sitting, jewelry making/fixing, etc.

I am still active with Daughters of the Nile. I'm not very active with The Order of the Eastern Star but my Grandparents will be going back in the line again so I will be an officer for them. In my Daughters of the Nile Temple, I am the President of the El Gizarettes Dancing Unit again.

I am still fighting depression but it is getting better. I am going to church again and enjoying it. I have been wearing my garments again since December and I am able to partake of the sacrament. I don't have a calling but I think it is more of the fact I don't know where I am going to be living than not knowing where to put me.

I'm thinking I am going to have to start a house cleaning business next or apply to be a maid at a hotel here in town. I don't like cleaning up after other people but I got to what I got to do to make ends meet.

Please keep me in your prayers and/or keep your fingers crossed (whatever you believe in) that I will get a full time job soon with health insurance. I have gone on many job interviews, many of them 2 or 3 times (higher ups, etc) but I get a letter in the mail every time. A letter in the mail is never good.

Miss California

2009-04-21T23:32:00.000-07:00

I think this issue between Perez Hilton and the Miss California is ridicules. First off how does an evil person like Perez Hilton become a celebrity. He is all about destroying other people's lives. Mainly those who are celebrities. I don't know how he became a so called celebrity when he is so harsh and mean to others. But of course I don't like any celebrity gossip shows, articles, blogs, etc. I turn the station whenever I hear one.

Now for the Miss America contest. How this person became a judge is beyond me. I'm sure there were 100's of people that would have been better for the job than him. I think her right to answer the question the way she felt is to her right.

I am tired of seeing everyone's 1st Amendments rights being attacked. People are now afraid to talk politics and religion to anyone including family and friends. People are being attacked and picketed for their religious beliefs and political views. The people who attack others for their religious and political views are bigots. They should take a hint from Martin Luther King Jr. If they feel something is wrong or should be against the law they should do protests at political places not places of worship. They should introduce bills and laws to be voted on by their state. They should have petitions being signed my thousands and millions of their neighbors. Peace changes the world not violence.

I'm also not a big fan of the media. I feel they are too democratic and not liberal enough or fair enough. I think they don't show both sides of the story but the side they want too. I guess this is the way of the world now. That is too bad.

This is my opinion and no one else’s. If you don't like it, I'm sorry. Everyone had a right to their own opinion whatever it may be.

Hello . . .

2009-04-07T00:20:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with the blog. I have been much stressed lately and having major issues with sleeping, still.

Everyone is given their issues. The Lord will not give us more than we can handle. I have very weird dreams that just to be getting more weird and more real life like. I have dreams sometimes where I don't know if it is real or not. I have had to ask questions to people before and they usually look at me crazy (then I know it was just a dream).

I listened to most of General Conference this weekend. I liked it but nothing stood out to me. I really like listening to them, it helps me sleep and relax. I'm thinking about getting some past ones and the current one on CD or something.

I have been listening to a book on tape called 'The Miracle of Forgiveness' by Spencer W. Kimbell. It is very interesting. I am learning something. I have been sewing while I am listening to it. If I have to think about what I am sewing I put the CD on hold.

If you have never read the book or listened to it, I would. I think every member of the LDS church should read or listen to this. If it has been a few years since you read it last, I would do it again.

I hope everyone is doing well. I am still going crazy trying to find a place to live, a job, packing my apartment up, doing some mending people are paying me for and house sitting. I am also doing some personal research.

Sorry

2009-04-06T23:58:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with the blog. I have been very stressed lately and having major issues with sleeping, still.

Everyone is given their issues. The Lord will not give us more than we can handle. I have very weird dreams that just to be getting more weird and more real life like. I have dreams sometimes where I don't know if it is real or not. I have had to ask questions to people before and they usually look at me crazy (then I know it was just a dream).

I listended to most of General Conference this weekend. I liked it but nothing stood out to me. I really like listening to them, it helps me sleep and relax. I'm thinking about getting some past ones and the current one on CD or something.

I have been listening to a book on tape called 'The Miracle of Forgiveness' by Spencer W. Kimbell. It is very interesting. I am learning something. I have been sewing while I am listenting to it. If I have to think about what I am sewing I put the CD on hold.

If you have never read the book or listened to it, I would. I think every member of the LDS church should read or listen to this. If it has been a few years since you read it last, I would do it again.

I hope everyone is doing well. I am still going crazy trying to find a place to live, a job, packing my apartment up, etc

Church Today

2009-03-08T12:31:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday again which means church. I am a Latter Day Saint. I have been my whole life. I haven't always been a good one but that's my issue. Today was Stake Conference. Then I discovered my friends who are in different stakes in this state (Nevada) it is also their stake conference today. Which I thought was weird. Then I went to church. Sacrament wasn't passed. Then they were showing the Stake Center. Which I thought was cool because stake conference is always a mess with parking and with seating.

Then the broadcast changed. It changed to Salt Lake City, UT. Where church leaders spoke to us. There were three speakers. First was a gentleman (I didn't get his name) who has family ties to the Las Vegas Valley. Actually park of Henderson is named after his family. He was very good. Then was a lady who is in the Young Woman Presidency. She spoke about the new Young Woman value Virtue. What it means to her, examples in her life. She encourage mothers to do Personal Progress with their daughters. I thought that was interesting. Then President Monson spoke to us. He was amazing. He was always a good speaker. He spoke about his connections to Nevada. Then went into the heart of his talk.

President Monson spoke about making our homes a House of Faith, House of God, House of Order, House of Prayer, House of Learning, House of Order and a House of Glory. I took notes the whole time. I was a little sad that we didn't get to partake of the Sacrament but I understood why.

Whatever religion you are, my Grandfather always told me be a good one. Remember someone loves you even if you don't see it. Church is a good place to make friends and connections for life.

Mad Hatter's Tea 2009

2009-03-02T01:26:00.000-08:00

Sunday March 1st, 2009 was the El Gizarette's Annual Mad Hatter's Tea.

I was so worried. We were not able to set up until the morning of. I had scheduled back in October 2008 to be able to set up for this tea on Saturday. Then found out on Wednesday on my own unit's luck that we couldn't. They had scheduled another event Saturday night. I was upset, mainly because the people (person) who scheduled the building didn't have the respect to call me and tell me of the changes.

Then via email and phone calls, changed the plan of events. We needed to clean out our closet (storage unit). You couldn't find anything. One of the unit ladies husband put up shelves. We also took down all of the decorations and items needed from our closet for the tea. The closet is upstairs and the tea was in the Bobo Room down stairs. We were able to clean out the closet, get shelves up, decorations down stairs and out of the way of the scheduled event (before they started showing up).

Then we went shopping for food items needed for the tea. All the members (the whole 4 of us) was assigned to 2 loaves of bread sandwiches, 1 batch of cookies and other items (tea, cream puffs, brownies, fruit, etc).

We all had to be there by 10 AM on Sunday morning to set up for the tea. Thankfully, a few of the husbands and 1 grandchild helped us set up tables, chairs and decorations. It was awesome! I was so worried that no one would show up. While we were setting up discovered we only sold 20 tickets ahead of time. I planned for 60 people. I was hoping for 40 after I found out about how few tickets were sold.

Then a miracle happened, we had 60 people show up. We had 2 empty chairs at 1 table. We had young ladies, a young man, a gentleman, 1 infant and several woman. I was worried we were going to have to set up another table, then I worried we didn't have enough food.

I couldn't believe it, we had enough food. We severed chicken salad, finger sandwiches, green olives, fruit, brownies, cream puffs, lime bars, cookies, tea, coffee and eclairs.

We had door prizes, auctions, a raffle and hat parade. I think everyone had a great time. I think it went over really well, at least where I was standing. Then the clean up was awesome. One of our less active members helped and brought friends, which made clean up time even faster. It was so cool. Specially since I made the mistake of only getting 2 hours of sleep the night before with baking my cookies, lime bars and making my sandwiches (rolled up lunch meats with cream cream in the center).

I was so exhausted by the time I got home. I had a good feeling about the day though. I was excited how my unit worked together and did their part. I loved how many people wore hats and the decorations for my sister Allison were great. They helped with the tea theme so well.

Thank you everyone for all your help and support with this event. I can't wait for 2010!

Life is Good

2009-02-26T23:45:00.000-08:00

I still don't have a job. I don't know if I will have a place to live come April. I have decided however to have a positive outlook in life. I listened to the book on tape called 'Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus'. It was very good and insightful. Now I am listening to one of the many follow up books on tape called 'Mars and Venus Starting Over'. This is so far is a good book. My brother wants me to listen to the book on tape 'Debt Cures'.

I'm not reading the scriptures as much as I should be. I catch myself reading the LDS Church magazines, Ensign, The New Era and The Friend. Which people say are modern day scriptures. I am still downloading the audio version of the scriptures. I have The Book of Mormon, The Pearl of Great Price and The Doctrine & Convents done. The Holy Bible is a little hard to do. It is a bit of a bigger book.

Years ago when I was in counseling in Southern California, my counselor suggested that I read a book called 'Psycho-Cybernetics' by Maxwell Maltz, MD., FLCS. I have been trying to read this many times but the whole reading thing is hard for me. I discovered when I was out a Barns & Nobles that it is on CD. Currently though is it out of my price range. I will have to continue to read the book my father purchased for me.

The Latest

2009-02-21T16:24:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone,

I have been very busy. My life has been turned upside down. I am now getting it back right side up. Life is good. I have been discovering how to do new things. Check out the following links:

My personal blog (this blog):

http://mangosweetness.blogspot.com

My Business blog:

http://billiemariedesigns.blogspot.com

My personal website:

http://sites.google.com/site/mangosweetness/

My business website:

http://sites.google.com/site/billiemariedeisgns/

:)

What I Learned Today

2009-02-20T01:02:00.000-08:00

So today I discovered how to make my own website from my gmail account. This is so cool.

The address is: http://sites.google.com/site/mangosweetness/

I am looking into a webpage mangosweetness.com. Give me a few days. Check out my site.

I am excited about learning.

My Weekend

2009-02-19T00:15:00.000-08:00

This weekend was Valentine's Weekend. I am sure there were many couples who took it as a 3 or 4 day weekend. Specially with Monday as a holiday for many and Saturday the actual Valentine's Day.

I went to a LDS Singles Conference. This is a conference for 31+. There were many people who were on the ++ part. Friday night was great. I went to the conference by myself. I wasn't sure if I would know anyone there or not. This woman sits down in front of me. She turned around and asked me if I was sitting by myself. I told her yes, so she asked me to sit next to her. She was there by herself too. So I did. Then a few minutes later she noticed another woman behind us that she was sitting by herself. So this new friend asked the other girl to come and sit next to us. So she did.

We listened to a Jericho's Road. This is a Christian Band or a Mormon boy band. They did a good show. After the show was several activities. Dances, speed dating, 10 questions 10 tables 10 minutes (similar to speed dating), karaoke and games in the library. I prayed a lot that I would make a friend to hang out with there. I was so glad that I meet these ladies. Later that night I discovered a friend but she was a social butterfly and interested in meeting men (the point of the conference, to meet someone). It was nice, I had a good time. I meet a man who seemed very unsure of why he was there but a nice guy.

The next day the was bright and early. Sister O. was an amazing speaker. Then there were several workshops and lunch. I really enjoyed the workshops. I would have liked another day of them. Then after lunch were more workshops. Then a show of family relics. I took a nap and missed dinner. After dinner was Sister Oaks speaking to us. She was funny and an amazing speaker. She really hit home. Because of my nap, I was a few minutes late to the talk by Sister Oaks and ended up sitting by myself because it was too many people to find my friends. Then this woman walked up to me and whispered hello and asked me to sit with her group. It was an old friend from Blythe, CA. I grew up in Blythe, CA. This woman actually said a few nice words at my father's funeral. It was nice seeing her.

Sister Oaks event ended early. So 2 of the people from Blythe I knew came to my apartment. I gave them some energy drinks. Then we went back to the Conference. They went to sing at the Karaoke thing. I went to the dance and hung out with my social butterfly friend. Through her I meet some more very nice woman and men. While she was dancing, I checked on my friends who Karaoke. They had the speed dating thing going again as well at the games thing and 10 Questions /10 Minutes/ 10 Tables things. There were 2 dances. 1 was more modern or recent music. The second was more older music. At the dance on Saturday night I meet this guy and his roommate. They both seemed to be nice and live in town.

There were several people at the conference who do not live in town. They passed out flyer's for other singles conferences going on.

Sunday was Sacrament meeting which was early. Then lunch then a talk by 2 brothers from Utah who swam the English Channel. They were very good speakers and successfully swam over 21 miles in the English Channel. Then Kenneth Cope sang and spoke to us. He is an amazing speaker and singer.

I was very happy I went. I was really scared before going because I wasn't sure if I was going to know anyone. I went to the whole weekend by myself. They said something like 1100 people were there. The first night was more of a group thing but the second night was more of a couple thing. I really happy I meet these two woman. One of them, we went to all of the workshops together. I choose some and she choose some. The people who did the workshops were very, very good. At least the ones I went to.

The food wasn't very good but I think I am bias. Mainly because of all of my allergies and I really don't like the company who catered the event. They are a local restaurant who also do catering for big events like this. I have had them many times and wouldn't ever eat at their restaurant.

On Sunday when I was waiting for my new friend to show up, the guy I meet Friday night, came up to me and started talking to me. He was a nice guy. I haven't seen the guys I meet Saturday. I didn't exchange phone numbers wit anyone but the girls I meet Friday night. I hung out Monday with one of the girls from Friday night. I am really glad I went. I was told by one of my new friends from Friday night, that if you take the weekend for the spiritual value it will be a good weekend. I did this because I didn't think I would really meet someone (to date). I was late on Sunday and missed the Sacrament and I am not happy about that but that's life.

I feel better about myself and where I am in life. I was having issues before the conference. Personal issues. Issues with self esteem and self worth. Feeling bad an embarrassed about not having a job, etc. The conference was so good, I feel better about myself. I know I will struggle with issues my whole life. This weekend was so great I want to go to 1 or 2 of the conferences coming up. I hope I get a job in time so I can go. A job were I can have the weekend off to attend. That would be awesome.

The feeling from the weekend was similar to the feelings I get in the Temple. Love in my heart, peace in my soul and a clear mind. Also a hunger for knowledge. I may not be a good flirt anymore because of esteem issues but I am getting my confidence back. I would recommend every single who can to go this conference next year. Also, look at the other conferences in your area. I know there is one coming up in Huntington Beach, CA very soon. As well as one in Sacramento, CA.

I got a flyer for a information site called http://www.theldssinglessite.com This site is to let you know what is going on in your area for singles. They have a section for 18 - 30 years old (young adult singles [YSA]). They have a section for 31 - 45 (mid-singles) and I believe they have a section for singles 31 +. You should check this site out also.

One thing I thought was really smart of the conference organizers. We had to wear badges showing we paid to be there and for security reasons. The front had our name on it and the back had the schedule for the weekend on it. That way you had the schedule of events with you at all times. They also made a booklet with bios of all the people who spoke, sang and talked to us. This includes the workshop people. They had pictures of all of them too. They booklet had the schedule for the whole weekend in the front and a daily one (with room assignments) in it. Then a map of the place on the back. It was very helpful but the badge thing was an amazing idea.

A Good Quote

2009-02-09T14:36:00.001-08:00

Here is a quote my brother sent me to encourage me, to help me in life.

The Lord Has a Great Work for Each of Us

"The Lord has a great work for each of us to do. You may wonder how this can be. You may feel that there is nothing special or superior about you or your ability. Perhaps you feel, or have been told, that you are stupid. Many of us have felt that and some of us have been told that. Gideon felt this when the Lord asked him to save Israel from the Midianites. Gideon said, 'My family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house' (Judg. 6:15). He had only three hundred men, but with the help of the Lord, Gideon defeated the armies of the Midianites. "The Lord can do remarkable miracles with a person of ordinary ability who is humble, faithful, and diligent in serving the Lord and seeks to improve himself. This is because God is the ultimate source of power."

James E. Faust, "Acting for Ourselves and Not Being Acted Upon," Ensign, Nov. 1995, 47

Uggg . . . Update

2009-02-09T14:32:00.000-08:00

For those who want to know. My mother was released from the hospital today. She didn't have an appendix issue but she has a hole in her intestines. While they were testing her they also found a spot on her liver. Which they will have to look into more later. She won't be able to go to work for the week.

Uggg . . .

2009-02-06T11:09:00.000-08:00

So this has been a crazy year for me so far. I still don't have a job and my unemployment isn't coming anymore. It looks like I have to go on Welfare. Which I am not happy about at all.

My father pasted away earlier this month. Cleaning his apartment and storage unit out. Going to a Memorial in Blythe, CA and then a funeral in Loma Linda, CA. Which was exhausting.

Then having to go back and forth between LA and Bakersfield, CA for my brother. Who let me tell people why but I had to help him with stuff too. It was also very exhausting.

My sister Melissa, lost her job a week or so ago. Then my Mother and my sister Allison who both work for the State of California are getting a pay cut. Instead of losing their jobs. My sister Melissa has to move back in with my Mother at the end of the month and is on Welfare again.

Now I get a call at 8:30 this morning that my Mother is on her way to the emergency room. She can't keep anything down and she is in a lot of pain. She is now in a bed, drugged up and having a lot of tests done. It looks like her appendix (sorry if I'm not spelling this right).It looks like she is going to have to have surgery. Which she is scheduled for a hysterectomy on April 28th.

I don't know what is going on with my family. I don't know if I can handle anything else right now. Today is one of those days I am glad I am single because it is one less thing to worry about. Today is also one of those days I wish I had someone in my life whose shoulder I can lean on. I know I have a lot of friends who are there for me if I ask. But there is a huge difference between friends and a boyfriend. Anyways, I will just have to keep praying. Please keep me and my family in your prayers, we really need it right now.

One Heck Of A Month

2009-01-31T21:22:00.000-08:00

This has been one heck of a month. One month that I do not want to relive. I haven't been really been able to post anything this month because of everything that has going on. So of the things I am not allowed to talk about, at least not yet.

I was able to spend some time with old friends. It was really nice. I was able to be able to spend some time at the La Brea Tar Pits. It was cool. I am glad I was able to do it. I wish I had time to see to go next door to LAMCA. I also wish I had more time to visit with more old friends.

Today the Green Valley Stake had a Relief Society Conference. It was on Temples. They had all of the live past Matrons of the Las Vegas Temple speak today. As well as a Patriarch who also designed and built the Las Vegas Temple. It was a very nice morning. I almost didn't go because I wasn't feeling all that well after the last few weeks. Plus I had a lot of laundry and so forth to do. I am glad that I went.

I am hoping next month will be better. I know I won't have a Valentine again this year. Big shocker, right? Still no job, again, what a shocker. Life is very interesting.

Kenneth Randall Witham

2009-01-15T16:12:00.000-08:00

Kenneth Randall Witham

August 9th, 1951 - January 7th, 2009

My father has been known as Randy his whole life. I haven't seen him in 2 years. It was a closed casete service yesterday. After we left I thought I should have burried him with a scratcher and / or a lotto ticket. This week, I was realizing how much me and my siblings really are like my father. Both in good ways and in bad ways. It is weird to see how different and like we are from our family members.

My father was a well liked man. He had many friends and many family members. Many of them I don't know. I have often felt left out. My father kept many things to himself. Which is one of the things I got on him about. He wanted to know everything going on in my life but really wouldn't tell me anything about his.

Cleaning his apartment and storage unit was exhausting. It was also surreal. I keep thinking he was going to walk around the corner ans ask us 'What are you doing?' or call me and say 'What's going on?'

If you would lke to leave my father a note, you are welcome to do so on this link:

http://www.legacy.com/PE//gb/guestbookview.aspx?personid=122786783&eid=viewgb_11409

Thank you everyone for your help, love, prayers and concerns to me and my family during our this time in our life.

My Last Post

2009-01-08T17:28:00.000-08:00

My last post was about my father who pasted away this week. We still don't know why or how. I wrote my last post while I was on Ambient. I don't remember what I wrote but I am also not going to go back over it. I am going to leave it as is.

Thank you for your concerns and well wishes everyone has been sending to me and my family. It means a lot to us.

My Father

2009-01-07T22:17:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don't know. I have been struggling with my father my whole life. We never saw eye to eye. He wasn't the best person in the world either. He did do good things for others. Specially his friends, his parents and strangers. Now matter what he did do or did not do he was still my father.

He named me. He did his best with trying to raise me. I'm not always the easiest to get along with but who is anymore.

I am having a hard time today. I have been having a hard time the last 2 days. Feeling unsure of myself. Not knowing where I belong. Not knowing what to do with my life. Was my life really worth anything to anyone.

Then this evening. I found out that my father pasted away. He hadn't talked to his girlfriend in 3 days. So Cathy (his girlfriend) and her daughter Candy and I believe another person. Broke into his home. Once in Candy went in first and found my father. He was died.

The corner in Blythe, CA is an old family friend. My brother is listed as the next of kin. My brother is on his way to Blythe, to figure out what to do next. He is likely going to be buried in Loma Linda, CA with some other family members. He was born in the Loma Linda Hospital.

I am happy I was able to talk to my father the weekend before Christmas. Other than that time I don't know when the last time it was I spoke to him. He told me he was getting his life back together. He has been going to church (all 3 hours, yes he was LDS) for the last 8 months. He was going to meet with the Bishop that Sunday and get everything together to be able to go to the Temple again. I was shocked and happy for him. He has our issues but I still only wanted good things for him.

My brother has the duty with Cathy to go through his things and clear out the apartment. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should go and help or stay here an wait for instructions from my brother. They have to find his will. I know he had one because when I was 18 he told me about it. He told me I was the executor. I told my brother this. I don't know if he changed it since then or not but I will more than likely asked to give that job to my brother. My brother is a CPA and better with all of the paper work than I could ever be.

His body is going to Indio, CA to be autopsy to find out what happened and what day he died. Did he have a heart attack and been on the floor for 2 days praying for help that can too late. Or what. I don't think he would have done this to himself. He has done some pretty bad things in his life. I honestly think he wouldn't purposely give up on him self. He would get mad, yell and get things to go his way.I honestly believe he was coming to peace with himself and the things he did.

But none of us will ever really know the truth. My next month or so will be sitting by the phone, looking for work, finding out what to do with my family and my father's life. Likely having to go to counseling and learn how to deal with it all. I have the need to clean his apartment. He always wanted everything spotless. No matter how much hard work or time it took to do it.

I loved my father and was trying to be kind and courteous to him. But at the same time keep my distantance from his insanity. I feel hurt and lost. I know he is in a better place in life. He was blessed through out his whole life.

Honestly, when I got the call today. I thought my brother said Grandpa died. I made him repeat himself and he said our dad died. I was in the middle of Walmart, getting things together for the trip I was talking for James. I was playing nurse for 10 day later this month.

Now what do I do? Where do I go?

I will say I am exteremly thankful for the Loveridge's being in my life, all 30+ of them in my life.

I am very thankful for all of my friends. The phone calls I have been receiving as well as the Facebook messages. This is one time though I wish I had a boyfriend whose shoulder I can cry on. But that is what my pillow will have to do for me.

I will let you all know more when I do. We have to wait for the body to be release before we can schedule the funeral.

New Years Resolutions

2009-01-05T13:32:00.001-08:00

What is in a New Year's Resolution? Is it really a goal for the new year? If you really want to change something about yourself, do you really need the new year to do this? Everyone wants to New Year to be better than the last. Everyone wants their goals, dreams and wishes to come true.

If you want something in life, only you can get it for yourself. You can't depend on someone else to make you happy. You can't except someone else to know what you are thinking. No one can be in your head but yourself. If you want someone else to help you, you have to say so. You have to tell them what you are thinking and what you want in life.

There is no need for resolutions just get organized. Write down what you want. Open up and talk to others to figure out how you will meet your goals. Remember small steps first. Several small steps will get you to the big goal. Don't forget to reward yourself for sticking with the plan every now and then. Don't reward yourself so much that you lose your sight on what you really want.

Enjoy life, have fun, work hard and relax. You can't control everything, you can't do everything. Love and determination will get you everywhere in life.

Happy New Years

2008-12-31T19:13:00.000-08:00

I am wishing everyone a Happy and Safe New Years!

Hope and Healing in Recovering from Abuse

2008-12-30T20:23:00.000-08:00

This is an article that is helping me. I hope it helps someone else.

Ensign » 2008 » September

Hope and Healing in Recovering from Abuse
By Sarah E. Miller

Sarah E. Miller, “Hope and Healing in Recovering from Abuse,” Ensign, Sep 2008, 36–39

Those struggling with the results of abuse can receive peace through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

As a child, Emma (name has been changed) was abused. Now, as a 33-year-old mother of four, she quietly weeps in my office. “I don’t understand,” she stammers. “I try to be faithful, pay an honest tithe, attend church, and serve in callings. Why do I feel so worthless? Why can’t I feel God’s love?” As a Latter-day Saint psychotherapist living and practicing in the United Kingdom, I have witnessed this scenario repeatedly over the years as I have counseled abused Church members in a professional capacity.

Many of my clients, like Emma, currently live faithful lives but continue to struggle with the effects of abuse in their past. In some cases, they perceive Heavenly Father as remote, stern, critical, or condemning. They assume that they “deserved” the abuse, that it was somehow their fault. In other cases, they feel as though their experiences place them beyond the healing power of the Savior. Church activity can seem overwhelming to these individuals, often because they compare themselves with other members and develop feelings of inadequacy. “What’s wrong with me?” they ask. “Why do I feel so unworthy?” Faced with ramifications such as addictions, self-hatred, mental illnesses, or broken relationships, they are eager to find hope and rest, but sometimes they are unsure about how to do so.

I am convinced that Latter-day Saints—or anyone, for that matter—struggling with the results of abuse or childhood trauma can receive peace through the gospel of Jesus Christ. The effects of abuse may persist for a while, but the power of the Atonement can ultimately relieve such burdens and facilitate healing. The Savior included those who have been abused when he beckoned, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). The Savior’s promise of rest can help victims know that God does love them, that they can feel His love, that they can forgive, and that their wounds can be healed.

“Why Did He Let This Happen?”
Clients frequently come to me feeling angry or resentful, asserting that a loving God would never have abandoned them to a fate of abuse. They perceive a lack of divine intervention as an indication of their personal unworthiness. However, Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, “There can be some who choose willfully to violate the commandments and harm you. … [But] the Lord has provided a way for you to overcome the destructive results of others’ acts against your will.”1

Healing occurs when individuals learn to search for and accept the Savior’s love. For example, I know of a case where a young brother and sister, twins, were forced to flee from their home late one night. Their stepfather had exploded in rage and threatened to kill them. As they wandered the dark streets searching for a place to rest, they discovered a secluded stairwell in an apartment building. Cold, exhausted, and fearful, they huddled together and somehow slept.

Years later, as an adult, one of those children questioned God, “Why didn’t you help us? Where were you?” An unexpected, gentle answer came to her mind, confirming that He had truly watched over her that night—that He in effect had sent angels who stood sentinel. In searching for answers, she hearkened to the Spirit’s whisperings and came to know that God loves her and is with her in times of need.

Our mortal experiences, however difficult they may be, can be channeled to help us know God and to learn about who we are in relationship to Him. When we learn that we are His children, we can feel that His love for us is unbounded: “Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee: therefore will I give men for thee, and people for thy life” (Isaiah 43:4).

“Why Am I Unable to Feel His Love?”
Even though they may know about God’s love on an intellectual basis, many people who have suffered abuse cannot, at least initially, fathom His caring for them individually. Some have never experienced a kind, loving, and respectful earthly father, so thinking about God in such terms is a difficult challenge.

To help transcend this barrier, I often ask clients to first think about the people they know who have loving qualities: a spouse, a bishop, or other Church leaders. Next, I ask them to visualize Heavenly Father listening to and responding to their prayers in ways that their spouse, bishop, or leaders might respond. With practice, the Spirit teaches them, and they begin to feel Heavenly Father’s tremendous love and compassion, often for the first time. As Jeremiah wrote: “I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

“Then shall you call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.

“And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:11–13).

Bishops play an especially vital role in the process of helping the abused feel God’s love. Though not all aggressors are male, when this is the case, subsequent relationships with males may be awkward or difficult. To restore healthy attitudes, victims need to see examples of men, particularly fathers, who live righteously and according to gospel standards. By serving in a fatherly role, bishops become healing instruments as they afford sensitive counsel, positive examples, and effective priesthood leadership devoid of unrighteous dominion. Others can assist in the recovery process by reflecting the Savior’s love and sacrifice in how they serve selflessly.

“How Can I Forgive?”
Forgiveness is often difficult because offenders may deny their behavior or avoid acknowledging it. Regardless of how the offender responds—even if the perpetrator does not admit responsibility—the person who has been abused can choose to forgive. It is important to note that forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting the offense, trusting the offender, or even associating with him or her. However, it does mean letting go of self-destructive anger.

To help the abused person forgive, leaders, friends, and family members can acknowledge the gravity of the offense, allowing the innocent person to work through his or her anger and pain. Much abuse involves the denial of feelings and truth, so people who have been abused need to be heard and have their feelings validated if they are to truly recover and regain self-worth. When the person who has been abused is pressured to forgive, he or she may feel an added measure of guilt, taking the blame not only for the abuse itself but also for being unable to forgive. Allowing the person time to forgive can be a lengthy process, but it is critical to healing.

Some may fear that their loved one might become stuck at this stage or obsessed with unhealthy rage. However, although needlessly extending this painful process can be unproductive, insisting on forgiveness before feelings have been adequately acknowledged may cause withdrawal and may impede healing. Bishops and other supportive members can facilitate healing by empathetically allowing the hurt to find its expression and then offering Christlike love.

“How Can My Wounds Heal?”
Some members feel so unclean, unworthy, or damaged that they live on the fringes, never allowing the blessings of the Atonement to heal their distress. They believe that their hurt can never be mended or that their pain is greater than the Savior’s ability to heal. Satan is the author of these lies, for “we believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved” (Articles of Faith 1:3; emphasis added). Through patience, charity, spiritual awareness, and prayer, Church leaders can reach even the most troubled souls, dispelling negative ideas, instilling hope, and fostering self-worth.

The journey of recovery from abuse can be long and lonely. However, through my work I have witnessed the undeniable power of the Atonement to renew and revitalize lives. In the advent of abuse, people feel helpless in not knowing what to do or where to turn. But those who suffer—and those charged with the responsibility to help them—are not alone. The saving principles of the gospel have the power and capacity to heal wounded souls. Not only does the Atonement wash the sins of repentant offenders, but it also reconciles with God all who may feel estranged from His love, including the abused and their families.

President Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, has taught that it is often necessary to “walk to the edge of the light, and perhaps a few steps into the darkness, and … the light will appear and move ahead of you.”2 In other words, it takes faith to move forward. But when we exercise faith in His omnipotence, we begin to feel the atoning power of the Savior, who bore our pain in Gethsemane. We become free to receive refreshing inner peace born of spiritual renewal that arises from the Atonement’s cleansing and healing power.

Hope in His Sacrifice
The Savior’s sacrifice provides tremendous hope on the path of recovery from abuse: “He hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives … to set at liberty them that are bruised” (Luke 4:18). Through prayer, faith, scripture study, hearkening to the Spirit, counseling with priesthood leaders, and receiving support from friends or relatives, those who have been abused can see a road to complete healing.

Many times I have counseled Latter-day Saints recovering from the trauma of abuse, I can testify that though recovery may seem difficult and fraught with temporary setbacks, the Savior offers solace to aching hearts, heals wounded souls, and changes sorrow into joy. All who have been hurt can receive relief through the Atonement of Him who knows and has experienced all: “He will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy … that he may know … how to succor his people” (Alma 7:12).

Above: photograph by Jed Clark; background photographs by Robert Casey

Not My Will But Thine Be Done, by Harry Anderson, courtesy of Pacific Press Publishing Association, Inc.

Notes
1. “Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse,” Ensign, May 1992, 31.

2. Quoting Harold B. Lee in Lucile C. Tate, Boyd K. Packer: A Watchman on the Tower (1995), 138.

^ Back to top

The Tablecoth

2008-12-17T21:14:00.000-08:00

A pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, reopened a church in suburban Brooklyn. Excitedly arriving in early October, they saw the opportunities to accomplish something good before them. When they first laid eyes upon the church, they found it to be very run down and in need of much work. They set a goal, though, to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.

They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc., and on Dec 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished. On December 19 a terrible tempest hit the area, lasting two days.

On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed a local business having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in.

One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church. By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.

Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet. "Pastor," she said, "where did you get that tablecloth?" The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there. To his astonishment, he found that they were. These being the initials of the woman. She had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria. The woman could hardly believe it, for the pastor told how he had just acquired the tablecloth.

The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. She was captured, sent to prison and she never saw her husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return.

One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighbourhood, continued
to sit in one of the pews and stare at the Tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to the one that his wife had made many years ago in Austria before the war and how could there be two Tablecloths so much alike?

He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety, and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

How the Angel Got on Top of the Tree

2008-12-17T21:11:00.000-08:00

It was supposed to be a happy time, but it wasn't. Santa was really pissed.

It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies. The Elves were b*#@!^&% about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making toys, and the reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. They had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and crashed it into a tree, breaking off one of the runners.

Santa was beside himself with anger. "I CAN'T believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours from now and all my reindeer are drunk, my Elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid Little Angel out HOURS a go to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"

Just then the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree.

He says: "Yo, Santa, where do you want me to stick the Christmas Tree this year???"
And thus the tradition of Angels perched atop the Christmas trees came to pass. . . . .

Things that sound dirty at Christmas

2008-12-17T21:08:00.000-08:00

"Talk about a huge breast!"

"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"

"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"

"Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."

"Just lay back and take it easy. I'll do the rest."

"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."

"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"

"Use a nice, smooth stroke when you whip it."

"Don't play with your meat."

"Just spread the legs open and stuff it in."

"How long will it take after you stick it in?"

"You'll know when it's ready when it pops up."

"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst."

"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"

"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"

"I didn't expect everyone to come at once."

"It's Cool Whip time!"

"You still have a little bit on your chin."

"Are you ready for seconds yet?"

The Star in The East

2008-12-16T15:45:00.000-08:00

The star in the east is shinning again
For the eyes of the world to see
It stips once more o'er Bethlehem
Where the manager used to be.

It shines on the spot where the crowded inn
Had no room for the Mother with Child.

It shines on the fields where shepherds were
Minding their flocks so mild.

It shines on the road the wise men took
As they followeth its rays so bright
And knelt at the feet od the new born Chold
That brought to the world God's Light.

Oh, lift your eyes to the eastern star
That shines in the heaven tonight,
And feel the glory the wise men felt
And bathed in its wondrous light.

By Clara Moote

Did You Know?

2008-12-15T22:37:00.001-08:00

Did you know that I have been collecting statehood quarters since they started in 1999. I have 2 books, 1 for D and for P. The difference is what mint they were made in.

As of just now, the D book is complete. The P book I am nine short.

They are:

2003 Alabama and Missouri

2005 California

2006 South Dakota

2007 Idaho and Utah

2008 Arizona, Alaska and Hawaii

I can't wait to get these and finish my last book.

:)

A Soldier's Christmas

2008-12-15T21:58:00.000-08:00

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE
MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."

This poem was written by a Marine stationed in Okinawa Japan

My Christmas Wish List

2008-12-15T20:19:00.000-08:00

This year I have a very different Christmas wish list, some of them have been carried over for years and will carry on to years to come.

1. A well paying good full time job
2. A permanent roof over my head
3. A beautiful man to share my life with
4. A respectful, loving and understanding family
5. Children (adopted or by birth), To be a mother
6. A good, working, cost effective car
7. To be a size 10 again
8. To be out of debt
9. To be Temple Worthy
10. Not to be dependent on caffeine
11. To be healthy and strong
12. To have a Bachelor's degree
13. To have a profession
14. To own my own business
15. To be a writer
16. To feel like I belong some where with some one special to me

These are dreams and goals of mine, some will never happen but hopefully most will.

A gift for Me from my Brother

2008-12-15T15:22:00.000-08:00

Santa's Secert Wish

2008-12-14T21:06:00.000-08:00

On Christmas Eve,
a young boy with light in his eyes,
Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise,
And said as he nestled on Santa's broad knee,
"I want your secret, tell it to me."

He leaned up & whispered in Santa's good ear,
"How do you do it, year after year?"
"I want to know how, as you travel about,
Giving gifts here & there, you never run out.

How is it, dear Santa, that in your pack of toys,
You have plenty for all of the world's girls & boys?
Stays so full, never empties as you make your way
From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large & small,

From nation to nation, reaching them all?
And Santa smiled kindly & said to the boy,
"Don't ask me hard questions.
Don't you want a toy?"

But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
He told the small boy with the light in his eyes,
"My secret will make you sadder & wise.

"The truth is that my sack is magic. Inside
It holds millions of toys for my Christmas Eve ride.
But although I do visit each girl & each boy
I don't always leave them a gaily wrapped toy.

Some homes are hungry, some homes are sad.
Some homes are desperate, some homes are bad.
Some homes are broken, & children there grieve.
Those homes I visit, but what should I leave?

"My sleigh is filled with the happiest stuff,
But for homes where despair lives,
toys aren't enough.
So I tiptoe in, kiss each girl & boy,
And pray with them that they'll be given the joy

Of the spirit of Christmas, the spirit that lives
In the heart of the dear child who gets not,
but gives.
If only God hears me & answers my prayer,
When I visit next year, what I will find there

Are homes filled with peace,
and with giving, and love
And boys and girls gifted with light from above.
It's a very had task, my smart little brother,
To give toys to some,
and to give prayers to others.

But the prayers are the best gifts,
the best gifts indeed,
For God has a way of meeting each need.
"That's part of the answer.
The rest, my dear youth,
Is that my sack is magic, And that is the truth.

In my sack I carry on Christmas Eve day
More love than a Santa could e'er give away.
The sack never empties of love, or of joys
'Cause inside it are prayers, and hopes.
Not just toys.

The more that I give, the fuller it seems,
Because giving is my way of fulfilling dreams.
"And do you know something?
You've got a sack, too.
It's as magic as mine, and it's inside of you.

It never gets empty, it's full from the start.
It's the centre of lights, and of love. It's your heart.
And if on this Christmas you want to help me,
Don't be so concerned with your gifts
'neath your tree.

Open that sack, call your heart, & share
Your joy, your friendship, your wealth, your care."
The light in the small boy's eyes was glowing.
"Thanks for the secret. I've got to be going."

"Wait, little boy," said Santa "don't go.
Will you share? Will you help?
Will you use what you know?"
And just for a moment the small boy stood still,
Touched his heart with his small hand & whispered,

"I will."

Author Unknown

Oh Holy Night

2008-12-14T01:00:00.000-08:00

Oh holy night!
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!

Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine
Oh night divine

Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming
Here come the wise men from Orient land
The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger
In all our trials born to be our friend.

Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.

Words by Chappeau de Roquemaure
Translated by John S. Dwight

This is one of my favorite Christmas songs ever.

Four Christmases

2008-12-13T00:01:00.000-08:00

http://www.fourchristmasesmovie.com/

This is a very funny movie. I really enjoyed and laughed a lot. The only thing a friend and myself kept commenting about to each other was, Reece Witherspoon's hair. It kept changing. One part of a screen it was her natural hair and then it would change to a wig. The wig had different bangs. It made her hair look different and it didn't look like her natural hair. You think a budget that big they would have dyed the wig to look like her natural hair. You can't have roots in one shot and then turn back in the next shot and you don't have roots. It was weird. The movie was very cute and I would suggest people to go and see it.

The Story of Silent Night

2008-12-12T20:10:00.000-08:00

Father Joseph Mohr sat at the old organ. His fingers stretched over the keys, forming the notes of a chord. He took a deep breath and pressed down. Nothing. He lifted his fingers and tried again. Silence echoed through the church.

Father Joseph shook his head. It was no use. The pipes were rusted, the bellows mildewed. The organ had been wheezing and growing quieter for months, and Father Joseph had been hoping it would hold together until the organ builder arrived to repair it in the spring. But now, on December 23, 1818, the organ had finally given out. St. Nicholas Church would have no music for Christmas.

Father Joseph sighed. Maybe a brisk walk would make him feel better. He pulled on his overcoat and stepped out into the night. His white breath puffed out before him. Moonlight sparkled off the snow-crusted trees and houses in the village of Oberndorf. Father Joseph crunched through the snowy streets to the edge of the little Austrian town and climbed the path leading up the mountain.

From high above Oberndorf, Father Joseph watched the Salzach River ripple past St. Nicolas Church. In the spring, wen melting snow flowed down the mountains and river swelled in its banks, water lapped at the foundation of the church. It was moisture from the flooding river that had caused the organ to mildew and rust.

Father Joseph looked out over the Austrian Alps. Stars shone above in the still and silent night.

Silent Night? Father Joseph stopped. Of course! "Silent Night!" He had written a poem a few years before, when he had first become a priest, and he had given it that very title. "Silent Night."

Father Joseph scrambled down the mountain. Suddenly he knew how to bring music to the church.

The next morning, Father Joseph set out on another walk. This time he carried his poem. And this time he knew exactly where he was going --- to see his friend Fran Gruber, the organist for St. Nicholas, who loved in the next village.

Franz Gruber was surprised to see the priest so far from home on Christmas Eve, and even more surprised when Father Joseph handed him the poem.

That night Father Joseph and Franz Gruber stood a the altar of St. Nicholas Church. Father Joseph held his guitar. He could see members of the congregation giving each other puzzle looks. They had never heard a guitar played in church before, and certainly no during midnight mass on Christmas Eve, the holiest night of the year.

Father Joseph picked out a few notes on his guitar, and he and Franz Gruber began to sing. Their two voices rang out, joined by the church choir on the chorus.

When the lst notes faded into the night, the congregation remained still for a moment, then began to clap their hands. Applause filled the church. The villagers of Oberndorf loved the song! Father Josep's plan to bring music to St. Nicholas Church had worked.

A few months later, the organ builder arrived in Oberndorf and found the words and music to "Silent Night" lying on the organ. The song enchanted home. ans when he left, he took a copy of it with him.

The organ builder gave the song to two families of traveling singers who lived neat his home. The raveling singer preformed "Silent Night" in concerts all over Europe, and soon the song spread throughout the world.

Today, cathedral choirs an carolers from New York to New Zealand sing the simple song that was first played in a mountain church in Austria on Christmas Eve nearly 200 years ago.

By Lisa Harkrader

Silent Night

Silent Night, Holy Night!
All is calm,all is right, Round yon Virgin Mother and
Child, Holy infant so tender and mild.
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent Night, Holy Night!
Shepherds quake at the sight.
Glories stream from heaven afar,
Heav'nly hosts sing Hallelujah,
Christ the Saviour is born,
Christ the Saviour is born.

Silent Night, Holy Night!
Son of God, love's pure light.
Radiant beams from Thy holy face,
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus Lord at Thy birth,
Jesus Lord at Thy birth.

by Father Joseph Mohr
Franz Gruber

Twas the Night Before Christmas

2008-12-11T21:04:00.000-08:00

Twas the Night before Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

By Clement Clarke Moore

Aussie Jingle Bells

2008-12-10T23:22:00.000-08:00

Brought to you by Jaybee's Entertainment!

Dashing through the bush
In a rusty Holden Ute
Kicking up the dust
Esky in the boot
Kelpie by my side
Singing Christmas songs
It's summer time and I am in
My singlet, shorts & thongs

CHORUS:

OH, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS
JINGLE ALL THE WAY
CHRISTMAS IN AUSTRALIA
ON A SCORCHING SUMMER'S DAY
JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS
CHRISTMAS TIME IS BEAUT
OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
IN A RUSTY HOLDEN UTE

Engine's getting hot
Dodge the kangaroos
Swaggy climbs aboard
He is welcome too
All the family is there
Sitting by the pool
Christmas day, the Aussie way
By the barbecue!

CHORUS

Come the afternoon
Grandpa has a doze
The kids and uncle Bruce
Are swimming in their clothes
The time comes round to go
We take a family snap
Then pack the car and all shoot through
Before the washing up

CHORUS

12 Days of Christmas Carol

2008-12-09T17:36:00.000-08:00

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffles us. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens,swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.

It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.

-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership and Mercy.

-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.

-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control.

-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now you know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol

Merry (Twelve Days of) Christmas Everyone

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

2008-12-08T16:34:00.000-08:00

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa.
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog.
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd forgot her medication,
and she staggered out the door into the snow.

When we found her Christmas mornin,'
at the scene of the attack.
She had hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Grandpa.
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.

It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?
(Send them back)

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table.
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle,
that would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors.
"Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Sing it Grandpa)

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Merry Christmas

Can You Believe This???

2008-12-08T13:27:00.000-08:00

Missing Toddler Found; Puppies Kept Him Warm

Monday, Dec 08, 2008 - 11:10 AM

By Denice Thibodeau

HALIFAX COUNTY, Va. -- A missing toddler from Halifax County was found safe Saturday afternoon by Angel Search and Rescue of Danville.

Three-year-old Jaylynn Thorpe wandered away from Buskshoal Road in the Virgilina community on Friday shortly after 4 p.m., according to Halifax County officials.

He was found at about 12:30 p.m. Saturday about a half mile away from his home sitting on a log at a pond, according to news partner WSLS10.

Gary Goodson Jr., captain of Angel Search and Rescue, said the two puppies the child had with him helped keep him warm throughout the night.

"He was doing extremely well when our search teams found him," Goodson said. "It's really amazing, with as cool as the temperature got last night; it got down to about 24 degrees."

Goodson had nothing but praise for the volunteers and professional rescue teams that turned out to search for the boy.

"There were about 300 different volunteers and professional searchers from all over the state and North Carolina," Goodson said. "There were about 150 professional searchers at the scene."

He said some of the professionals brought trained search dogs, others had special training in tracking footprints and other human signs and many were members of ground-team search crews.

A state police helicopter also joined the search.

"All our training has really paid off," Goodson said of his 50-member team. "We been practicing and drilling for this kind of emergency, and it all came together really well."

Halifax County Sheriff Stanley Noblin was not available for comment Saturday afternoon - but an official with the sheriff's department said everyone involved in the all-night search had finally gone home to get some sleep.

Stay tuned to NBC 4 and refresh nbc4i.com for the latest news and information.

The Prayer of Santa Claus

2008-12-07T15:37:00.000-08:00

Today

2008-12-07T15:28:00.000-08:00

I went to church today. I went to my family ward The Silver Springs Ward. I went a few times during the summer but I didn't talk to anyone. Today I stayed for the whole thing. I spoke to my Bishop, Bishop Erickson. I spoke to my Relief Society President, Connie, Sister ??? Another sister just started talking to me, introduced herself to me. Made sure I knew where I was going. It was so cool. She even waited for me while I was meeting with the Bishop in his office. During Relief Society I discovered that a former co-worker is a member of the ward. So now I know someone.

So now the repentance process starts. I'm not going to say what I have to repent for or what I have to do during this process. It is between me, my Bishop, my Stake President if my Bishop feels necessary and the Lord. I am so nervous, scared, excited and happy all at the same time. I think I'm getting a headache from it all.

James Bond Quantum of Solace

2008-12-07T01:04:00.000-08:00

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0830515/

I saw this movie tonight. I was suppose to see Four Christmases but it has been changed to this Friday.

I really don't like James Bond movies but I love Daniel Craig as James Bond. He is the sexiest one and the one I feel does the character the best justice. Sean Connery was ok but no where near the sex appeal of Daniel Craig.

The movie had a lot of action. Daniel Craig does a lot of his own stunts from what I understand. Either way, I still love him as James Bond and I would watch this movie and Casino Royale over and over again.

Santa's Prayer on Christmas Eve

2008-12-06T16:42:00.000-08:00

By Warren D Jennings

The sleigh was all packed, the reindeer were fed,
But Santa still knelt by the side of the bed.

“Dear Father,” he prayed “Be with me tonight.
There’s much work to do and my schedule is tight.

I must jump in my sleigh and streak through the sky,
Knowing full well that a reindeer can’t fly.

I will visit each household before the first light,
I’ll cover the world and all in one night.

With sleighbells a-ringing, I’ll land on each roof
Amid the soft clatter of each little hoof.

To get in the house is the difficult part,
So I’ll slide down the chimney of each child’s heart.

My sack will hold toys to grant all their wishes.
The supply will be endless like the loaves and the fishes.

I will fill all the stockings and not leave a track.
I’ll eat every cookie that is left for my snack.

I can do all these things Lord, only through You,
I just need your blessing, then it’s easy to do.

All this is to honor the birth of the One,
That was sent to redeem us, Your most Holy Son.

So to all of my friends, least Your glory I rob,
Please Lord, remind them who gave me this job.’’

Lately . . .

2008-12-06T16:21:00.000-08:00

I am still feeling down and alone. I still don't want to get out of bed and do anything all day. I am currently thankful for responisbilites that get me out of bed. I am currently also thankful for my mother's voice haunting me saying 'how dare you stay in bed after 9 am'.

I am still looking for work everywhere. I had another job interview this week, I think it went well. I got another lead today. It looks like I will have 3 part time jobs besides my housesitting work.

I had an old friend kind of come back into my life. It has been nice to be able to open up to someone like that. I think I have opened up to much to him and I have scared him. But he has been very helpful to me.

I am listening to the new Kayne West album Heartbreak. It is really good.

I'm going to see Four Christmases tonight with some friends.

I still have hope the future will be better. That I will make it through all of this and become a better person.

I have deciced to go back to church and become Temple worthy again. So this means no more drinking and all that other stuff I did while I worked at Zappos. And yes, I have had a drink or two since leaving Zappos but nothing like I did there and nothing in a month or so.

I still believe in love. If it happens to me or not, I will always believe in it. I like to see other people happy and in love. It does hurt sometimes seeing people in love but I have just to have hope it will happen for me one day.

The Shop Around the Corner

2008-12-06T12:39:00.000-08:00

The Shop Around the Corner (1940)

Director:Ernst Lubitsch

Writers:Samson Raphaelson (screenplay)

Miklós László (play)

Release Date:12 January 1940 (USA)

Genre:Comedy | Romance | Drama more

Plot:Two employees at a gift shop can barely stand one another, without realizing that they're falling in love through the post as each other's anonymous pen pal.

Cast (Complete credited cast)

Margaret Sullavan ... Klara Novak
James Stewart ... Alfred Kralik
Frank Morgan ... Hugo Matuschek
Joseph Schildkraut ... Ferencz Vadas
Sara Haden ... Flora
Felix Bressart ... Pirovitch
William Tracy ... Pepi Katona
Inez Courtney ... Ilona Novotny
Sarah Edwards ... Woman Customer
Edwin Maxwell ... Doctor
Charles Halton ... Detective
Charles Smith ... Rudy

Additional Details
Parents Guide:Add content advisory for parents
Runtime:99 min
Country:USA
Language:English
Color:Black and White
Aspect Ratio:1.37 : 1 more
Sound Mix:Mono (Western Electric Sound System)
Certification:USA:Approved (certificate #5967) | Canada:G (video rating) | USA:Passed (National Board of Review) | Finland:S | Sweden:Btl | UK:U
MOVIEmeter: 12% since last week why?
Company:Loew's more

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fun Stuff
Trivia:According to the Book "Ernst Lubitsch: Laughter in Paradise", ‘The Shop Around the Corner’ is the most meaningful tribute possible to the owner and employees of the long vanished Berlin clothing firm of S. Lubitsch. more
Goofs:Continuity: When Klara hurries out of the back room with her hat and coat she rushes past the rest of the employees as they enter the room in a group. Flora is the second-to-last person in the line and she is clearly inside the room before Klara runs past. In the next cut showing Klara hurrying through the store, Flora is the last person in line and is still in the doorway. more
Quotes:[Alfred Kralik has just been called into his supervisor's office]
Alfred Kralik: Yes, Mr. Matuschek
Hugo Matuschek: Eh, close the door. Kralik, why did you put me in that situation, in front of the whole shop?
Alfred Kralik: Well, I'm very sorry, sir... but it was not my fault.
Hugo Matuschek: Well whose fault was it? Mine?
Alfred Kralik: Well... yes.
more
Movie Connections:Referenced in Il y a longtemps que je t'aime (2008) more
Soundtrack:Ochi Tchornya (Dark Eyes) more

I watched this movie today. You might know one of its remakes "You Got Mail". The original is just as good as its remake. I suggest everyone to see this movie.

The Meaning of the Candy Cane

2008-12-05T19:31:00.000-08:00

Many years ago a candy maker wanted to make a candy that would symbolize the true meaning of Christmas – Jesus.

The hard candy was shaped like a ‘J’ to represent that Jesus is our rock of all ages. The candy was made of white to stand for the pureness of Jesus. The red represents the blood that Jesus shed to save us from our sins.

So the next time you see a candy cane take a minute to remember the real meaning of Christmas.

Christmas Jokes

2008-12-04T17:27:00.000-08:00

What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has No L (Noel)

What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?
Silent Night

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can hoe hoe hoe

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

What kind of bird can write?
A Pen-guin

What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
I’ll have a boo Christmas without you . . .

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!

What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?
Sandy Claws!

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Crisp Cringle

What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
Neither! Candles always burn shorter!

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
He had low elf esteem

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic

The Tender Mercies of the Lord

2008-12-04T17:24:00.001-08:00

This is a talk a dear friend brought to my attention recently. It helped me realize some things and I wanted to share it with you. I know not everyone will understand it or get anything from it that read it. Just know, it has helped me.

The Tender Mercies of the Lord
Elder David A. Bednar
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are available to all of us and that the Redeemer of Israel is eager to bestow such gifts upon us.

Six months ago, I stood at this pulpit for the first time as the newest member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Both then and even more so now, I have felt and feel the weight of the call to serve and of the responsibility to teach with clarity and to testify with authority. I pray for and invite the assistance of the Holy Ghost as I now speak with you.

This afternoon I want to describe and discuss a spiritual impression I received a few moments before I stepped to this pulpit during the Sunday morning session of general conference last October. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf had just finished speaking and had declared his powerful witness of the Savior. Then we all stood together to sing the intermediate hymn that previously had been announced by President Gordon B. Hinckley. The intermediate hymn that morning was "Redeemer of Israel" (Hymns, no. 6).

Now, the music for the various conference sessions had been determined many weeks before—and obviously long before my new call to serve. If, however, I had been invited to suggest an intermediate hymn for that particular session of the conference—a hymn that would have been both edifying and spiritually soothing for me and for the congregation before my first address in this Conference Center—I would have selected my favorite hymn, "Redeemer of Israel." Tears filled my eyes as I stood with you to sing that stirring hymn of the Restoration.

Near the conclusion of the singing, to my mind came this verse from the Book of Mormon: "But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance" (1 Nephi 1:20).

My mind was drawn immediately to Nephi's phrase "the tender mercies of the Lord," and I knew in that very moment I was experiencing just such a tender mercy. A loving Savior was sending me a most personal and timely message of comfort and reassurance through a hymn selected weeks previously. Some may count this experience as simply a nice coincidence, but I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often, the Lord's timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them.

What Are the Tender Mercies of the Lord?

Since last October I have reflected repeatedly upon the phrase "the tender mercies of the Lord." Through personal study, observation, pondering, and prayer, I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord's tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits "his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men" (D&C 46:15).

Recall how the Savior instructed His Apostles that He would not leave them comfortless. Not only would He send "another Comforter" (John 14:16), even the Holy Ghost, but the Savior said that He would come to them (see John 14:18). Let me suggest that one of the ways whereby the Savior comes to each of us is through His abundant and tender mercies. For instance, as you and I face challenges and tests in our lives, the gift of faith and an appropriate sense of personal confidence that reaches beyond our own capacity are two examples of the tender mercies of the Lord. Repentance and forgiveness of sins and peace of conscience are examples of the tender mercies of the Lord. And the persistence and the fortitude that enable us to press forward with cheerfulness through physical limitations and spiritual difficulties are examples of the tender mercies of the Lord.

In a recent stake conference, the tender mercies of the Lord were evident in the touching testimony of a young wife and mother of four whose husband was slain in Iraq in December of 2003. This stalwart sister recounted how, after being notified of her husband's death, she received his Christmas card and message. In the midst of the abrupt reality of a dramatically altered life came to this good sister a timely and tender reminder that indeed families can be together forever. With permission I quote from that Christmas card:

"To the best family in the world! Have a great time together and remember the true meaning of Christmas! The Lord has made it possible for us to be together forever. So even when we are apart, we will still be together as a family.

"God bless and keep y'all safe and grant this Christmas to be our gift of love from us to Him above!!!

"All my love, Daddy and your loving husband!"

Clearly, the husband's reference to being apart in his Christmas greeting referred to the separation caused by his military assignment. But to this sister, as a voice from the dust from a departed eternal companion and father, came a most needed spiritual reassurance and witness. As I indicated earlier, the Lord's tender mercies do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Faithfulness, obedience, and humility invite tender mercies into our lives, and it is often the Lord's timing that enables us to recognize and treasure these important blessings.

Some time ago I spoke with a priesthood leader who was prompted to memorize the names of all of the youth ages 13 to 21 in his stake. Using snapshots of the young men and women, he created flash cards that he reviewed while traveling on business and at other times. This priesthood leader quickly learned all of the names of the youth.

One night the priesthood leader had a dream about one of the young men whom he knew only from a picture. In the dream he saw the young man dressed in a white shirt and wearing a missionary name tag. With a companion seated at his side, the young man was teaching a family. The young man held the Book of Mormon in his hand, and he looked as if he were testifying of the truthfulness of the book. The priesthood leader then awoke from his dream.

At an ensuing priesthood gathering, the leader approached the young man he had seen in his dream and asked to talk with him for a few minutes. After a brief introduction, the leader called the young man by name and said: "I am not a dreamer. I have never had a dream about a single member of this stake, except for you. I am going to tell you about my dream, and then I would like you to help me understand what it means."

The priesthood leader recounted the dream and asked the young man about its meaning. Choking with emotion, the young man simply replied, "It means God knows who I am." The remainder of the conversation between this young man and his priesthood leader was most meaningful, and they agreed to meet and counsel together from time to time during the following months.

That young man received the Lord's tender mercies through an inspired priesthood leader. I repeat again, the Lord's tender mercies do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Faithfulness and obedience enable us to receive these important gifts and, frequently, the Lord's timing helps us to recognize them.

We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord's tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance (see 1 Nephi 1:20).

Who Are They Whom the Lord Has Chosen to Receive His Tender Mercies?

The word chosen in 1 Nephi 1:20 is central to understanding the concept of the Lord's tender mercies. The dictionary indicates that chosen suggests one who is selected, taken by preference, or picked out. It also can be used to refer to the elect or chosen of God (Oxford English Dictionary Online, second ed. [1989], "Chosen").

Some individuals who hear or read this message erroneously may discount or dismiss in their personal lives the availability of the tender mercies of the Lord, believing that "I certainly am not one who has been or ever will be chosen." We may falsely think that such blessings and gifts are reserved for other people who appear to be more righteous or who serve in visible Church callings. I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are available to all of us and that the Redeemer of Israel is eager to bestow such gifts upon us.

To be or to become chosen is not an exclusive status conferred upon us. Rather, you and I ultimately determine if we are chosen. Please now note the use of the word chosen in the following verses from the Doctrine and Covenants:

"Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?

"Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men" (D&C 121:34–35; emphasis added).

I believe the implication of these verses is quite straightforward. God does not have a list of favorites to which we must hope our names will someday be added. He does not limit "the chosen" to a restricted few. Rather, it is our hearts and our aspirations and our obedience which definitively determine whether we are counted as one of God's chosen.

Enoch was instructed by the Lord on this very point of doctrine. Please note the use of the word choose in these verses: "Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency;

"And unto thy brethren have I said, and also given commandment, that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father" (Moses 7:32–33; emphasis added).

As we learn in these scriptures, the fundamental purposes for the gift of agency were to love one another and to choose God. Thus we become God's chosen and invite His tender mercies as we use our agency to choose God.

One of the most well-known and frequently cited passages of scripture is found in Moses 1:39. This verse clearly and concisely describes the work of the Eternal Father: "For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (emphasis added).

A companion scripture found in the Doctrine and Covenants describes with equal clarity and conciseness our primary work as the sons and daughters of the Eternal Father. Interestingly, this verse does not seem to be as well known and is not quoted with great frequency. "Behold, this is your work, to keep my commandments, yea, with all your might, mind and strength" (D&C 11:20; emphasis added).

Thus, the Father's work is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of His children. Our work is to keep His commandments with all of our might, mind, and strength—and we thereby become chosen and, through the Holy Ghost, receive and recognize the tender mercies of the Lord in our daily lives.

The very conference in which we are participating this weekend is yet another example of the Lord's tender mercies. We have been blessed to receive inspired counsel from the leaders of the Savior's Church—timely counsel for our day and for our circumstances and for our challenges. We have been instructed, lifted, edified, called to repentance, and strengthened. The spirit of this conference has fortified our faith and fueled our desire to repent, to obey, to improve, and to serve. Like you, I am eager to now act upon the reminders, counsel, and personal inspiration with which we have been blessed during this conference. And in just a few moments each of us will receive one of the Lord's tender mercies as we hear the concluding remarks and testimony of President Gordon B. Hinckley. Truly, "the Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works" (Psalm 145:9).

I am thankful for the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ through the Prophet Joseph Smith and for the knowledge we have today about the Lord's tender mercies. Our desires, faithfulness, and obedience invite and help us to discern His mercies in our lives. As one of His servants, I declare my witness that Jesus is the Christ, our Redeemer and our Savior. I know that He lives and that His tender mercies are available to all of us. Each of us can have eyes to see clearly and ears to hear distinctly the tender mercies of the Lord as they strengthen and assist us in these latter days. May our hearts always be filled with gratitude for His abundant and tender mercies. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Santa Whispered

2008-12-04T01:21:00.000-08:00

Santa Whispered, “Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas”

The Star: A heavenly sign of prophecy fulfilled long ages ago – the shining hope of mankind.

Red: The first color of Christmas symbolizing the Savior’s sacrifice for all.

Fir Tree: Evergreen – The second color of Christmas showa everlasting life. The needles point Heavenward

The Bell: Rings out to guide lost sheep back to the fold – signifying all are precious in the eyes of the Lord

The Candle: A mirror of starlight reflecting our thanks for the Star of Bethlehem.

Gift Bow: Tied as we should all be tied together in bonds of goodwill forever.

Candy Cane: The shepherd’s crook used to bring lambs back into the fold – A reminder that we are all our brother’s keeper.

The Wreath: A symbol of the never ending eternal nature of love, having no beginning and no end.

What I Don't Understand the Most

2008-12-02T13:57:00.000-08:00

What I don't understand the most is the phrase:

'Do as I say and not as I do'

This phrase upsets me more than anything. How dare someone tell me to do something a certain way or to be a certain way but they don't do it. They are the exception to the rule. How dare they think they are better than us. This phrase will get me upset faster than almost anything else can. This is one thing on a short list of way to upset me almost instantly.

Another is kicking the bed to wake me up. Or touching / grabbing my feet to wake me up. I don't care who you are, I will wake up and start yelling at you instantly if you do either of these things to me. I will likely apologize afterwards because I feel bad about yelling like.

I understand that I need to 'get over it' but it is easier said than done. There is only so much self improvement you can work on at a time. And yes, I have a lot to work on.