I still don't have a job. I don't know if I will have a place to live come April. I have decided however to have a positive outlook in life. I listened to the book on tape called 'Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus'. It was very good and insightful. Now I am listening to one of the many follow up books on tape called 'Mars and Venus Starting Over'. This is so far is a good book. My brother wants me to listen to the book on tape 'Debt Cures'.
I'm not reading the scriptures as much as I should be. I catch myself reading the LDS Church magazines, Ensign, The New Era and The Friend. Which people say are modern day scriptures. I am still downloading the audio version of the scriptures. I have The Book of Mormon, The Pearl of Great Price and The Doctrine & Convents done. The Holy Bible is a little hard to do. It is a bit of a bigger book.
Years ago when I was in counseling in Southern California, my counselor suggested that I read a book called 'Psycho-Cybernetics' by Maxwell Maltz, MD., FLCS. I have been trying to read this many times but the whole reading thing is hard for me. I discovered when I was out a Barns & Nobles that it is on CD. Currently though is it out of my price range. I will have to continue to read the book my father purchased for me.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
The Latest
Hello Everyone,
I have been very busy. My life has been turned upside down. I am now getting it back right side up. Life is good. I have been discovering how to do new things. Check out the following links:
My personal blog (this blog):
http://mangosweetness.blogspot.com
My Business blog:
http://billiemariedesigns.blogspot.com
My personal website:
http://sites.google.com/site/mangosweetness/
My business website:
http://sites.google.com/site/billiemariedeisgns/
:)
I have been very busy. My life has been turned upside down. I am now getting it back right side up. Life is good. I have been discovering how to do new things. Check out the following links:
My personal blog (this blog):
http://mangosweetness.blogspot.com
My Business blog:
http://billiemariedesigns.blogspot.com
My personal website:
http://sites.google.com/site/mangosweetness/
My business website:
http://sites.google.com/site/billiemariedeisgns/
:)
Friday, February 20, 2009
What I Learned Today
So today I discovered how to make my own website from my gmail account. This is so cool.
The address is: http://sites.google.com/site/mangosweetness/
I am looking into a webpage mangosweetness.com. Give me a few days. Check out my site.
I am excited about learning.
The address is: http://sites.google.com/site/mangosweetness/
I am looking into a webpage mangosweetness.com. Give me a few days. Check out my site.
I am excited about learning.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
My Weekend
This weekend was Valentine's Weekend. I am sure there were many couples who took it as a 3 or 4 day weekend. Specially with Monday as a holiday for many and Saturday the actual Valentine's Day.
I went to a LDS Singles Conference. This is a conference for 31+. There were many people who were on the ++ part. Friday night was great. I went to the conference by myself. I wasn't sure if I would know anyone there or not. This woman sits down in front of me. She turned around and asked me if I was sitting by myself. I told her yes, so she asked me to sit next to her. She was there by herself too. So I did. Then a few minutes later she noticed another woman behind us that she was sitting by herself. So this new friend asked the other girl to come and sit next to us. So she did.
We listened to a Jericho's Road. This is a Christian Band or a Mormon boy band. They did a good show. After the show was several activities. Dances, speed dating, 10 questions 10 tables 10 minutes (similar to speed dating), karaoke and games in the library. I prayed a lot that I would make a friend to hang out with there. I was so glad that I meet these ladies. Later that night I discovered a friend but she was a social butterfly and interested in meeting men (the point of the conference, to meet someone). It was nice, I had a good time. I meet a man who seemed very unsure of why he was there but a nice guy.
The next day the was bright and early. Sister O. was an amazing speaker. Then there were several workshops and lunch. I really enjoyed the workshops. I would have liked another day of them. Then after lunch were more workshops. Then a show of family relics. I took a nap and missed dinner. After dinner was Sister Oaks speaking to us. She was funny and an amazing speaker. She really hit home. Because of my nap, I was a few minutes late to the talk by Sister Oaks and ended up sitting by myself because it was too many people to find my friends. Then this woman walked up to me and whispered hello and asked me to sit with her group. It was an old friend from Blythe, CA. I grew up in Blythe, CA. This woman actually said a few nice words at my father's funeral. It was nice seeing her.
Sister Oaks event ended early. So 2 of the people from Blythe I knew came to my apartment. I gave them some energy drinks. Then we went back to the Conference. They went to sing at the Karaoke thing. I went to the dance and hung out with my social butterfly friend. Through her I meet some more very nice woman and men. While she was dancing, I checked on my friends who Karaoke. They had the speed dating thing going again as well at the games thing and 10 Questions /10 Minutes/ 10 Tables things. There were 2 dances. 1 was more modern or recent music. The second was more older music. At the dance on Saturday night I meet this guy and his roommate. They both seemed to be nice and live in town.
There were several people at the conference who do not live in town. They passed out flyer's for other singles conferences going on.
Sunday was Sacrament meeting which was early. Then lunch then a talk by 2 brothers from Utah who swam the English Channel. They were very good speakers and successfully swam over 21 miles in the English Channel. Then Kenneth Cope sang and spoke to us. He is an amazing speaker and singer.
I was very happy I went. I was really scared before going because I wasn't sure if I was going to know anyone. I went to the whole weekend by myself. They said something like 1100 people were there. The first night was more of a group thing but the second night was more of a couple thing. I really happy I meet these two woman. One of them, we went to all of the workshops together. I choose some and she choose some. The people who did the workshops were very, very good. At least the ones I went to.
The food wasn't very good but I think I am bias. Mainly because of all of my allergies and I really don't like the company who catered the event. They are a local restaurant who also do catering for big events like this. I have had them many times and wouldn't ever eat at their restaurant.
On Sunday when I was waiting for my new friend to show up, the guy I meet Friday night, came up to me and started talking to me. He was a nice guy. I haven't seen the guys I meet Saturday. I didn't exchange phone numbers wit anyone but the girls I meet Friday night. I hung out Monday with one of the girls from Friday night. I am really glad I went. I was told by one of my new friends from Friday night, that if you take the weekend for the spiritual value it will be a good weekend. I did this because I didn't think I would really meet someone (to date). I was late on Sunday and missed the Sacrament and I am not happy about that but that's life.
I feel better about myself and where I am in life. I was having issues before the conference. Personal issues. Issues with self esteem and self worth. Feeling bad an embarrassed about not having a job, etc. The conference was so good, I feel better about myself. I know I will struggle with issues my whole life. This weekend was so great I want to go to 1 or 2 of the conferences coming up. I hope I get a job in time so I can go. A job were I can have the weekend off to attend. That would be awesome.
The feeling from the weekend was similar to the feelings I get in the Temple. Love in my heart, peace in my soul and a clear mind. Also a hunger for knowledge. I may not be a good flirt anymore because of esteem issues but I am getting my confidence back. I would recommend every single who can to go this conference next year. Also, look at the other conferences in your area. I know there is one coming up in Huntington Beach, CA very soon. As well as one in Sacramento, CA.
I got a flyer for a information site called http://www.theldssinglessite.com This site is to let you know what is going on in your area for singles. They have a section for 18 - 30 years old (young adult singles [YSA]). They have a section for 31 - 45 (mid-singles) and I believe they have a section for singles 31 +. You should check this site out also.
One thing I thought was really smart of the conference organizers. We had to wear badges showing we paid to be there and for security reasons. The front had our name on it and the back had the schedule for the weekend on it. That way you had the schedule of events with you at all times. They also made a booklet with bios of all the people who spoke, sang and talked to us. This includes the workshop people. They had pictures of all of them too. They booklet had the schedule for the whole weekend in the front and a daily one (with room assignments) in it. Then a map of the place on the back. It was very helpful but the badge thing was an amazing idea.
I went to a LDS Singles Conference. This is a conference for 31+. There were many people who were on the ++ part. Friday night was great. I went to the conference by myself. I wasn't sure if I would know anyone there or not. This woman sits down in front of me. She turned around and asked me if I was sitting by myself. I told her yes, so she asked me to sit next to her. She was there by herself too. So I did. Then a few minutes later she noticed another woman behind us that she was sitting by herself. So this new friend asked the other girl to come and sit next to us. So she did.
We listened to a Jericho's Road. This is a Christian Band or a Mormon boy band. They did a good show. After the show was several activities. Dances, speed dating, 10 questions 10 tables 10 minutes (similar to speed dating), karaoke and games in the library. I prayed a lot that I would make a friend to hang out with there. I was so glad that I meet these ladies. Later that night I discovered a friend but she was a social butterfly and interested in meeting men (the point of the conference, to meet someone). It was nice, I had a good time. I meet a man who seemed very unsure of why he was there but a nice guy.
The next day the was bright and early. Sister O. was an amazing speaker. Then there were several workshops and lunch. I really enjoyed the workshops. I would have liked another day of them. Then after lunch were more workshops. Then a show of family relics. I took a nap and missed dinner. After dinner was Sister Oaks speaking to us. She was funny and an amazing speaker. She really hit home. Because of my nap, I was a few minutes late to the talk by Sister Oaks and ended up sitting by myself because it was too many people to find my friends. Then this woman walked up to me and whispered hello and asked me to sit with her group. It was an old friend from Blythe, CA. I grew up in Blythe, CA. This woman actually said a few nice words at my father's funeral. It was nice seeing her.
Sister Oaks event ended early. So 2 of the people from Blythe I knew came to my apartment. I gave them some energy drinks. Then we went back to the Conference. They went to sing at the Karaoke thing. I went to the dance and hung out with my social butterfly friend. Through her I meet some more very nice woman and men. While she was dancing, I checked on my friends who Karaoke. They had the speed dating thing going again as well at the games thing and 10 Questions /10 Minutes/ 10 Tables things. There were 2 dances. 1 was more modern or recent music. The second was more older music. At the dance on Saturday night I meet this guy and his roommate. They both seemed to be nice and live in town.
There were several people at the conference who do not live in town. They passed out flyer's for other singles conferences going on.
Sunday was Sacrament meeting which was early. Then lunch then a talk by 2 brothers from Utah who swam the English Channel. They were very good speakers and successfully swam over 21 miles in the English Channel. Then Kenneth Cope sang and spoke to us. He is an amazing speaker and singer.
I was very happy I went. I was really scared before going because I wasn't sure if I was going to know anyone. I went to the whole weekend by myself. They said something like 1100 people were there. The first night was more of a group thing but the second night was more of a couple thing. I really happy I meet these two woman. One of them, we went to all of the workshops together. I choose some and she choose some. The people who did the workshops were very, very good. At least the ones I went to.
The food wasn't very good but I think I am bias. Mainly because of all of my allergies and I really don't like the company who catered the event. They are a local restaurant who also do catering for big events like this. I have had them many times and wouldn't ever eat at their restaurant.
On Sunday when I was waiting for my new friend to show up, the guy I meet Friday night, came up to me and started talking to me. He was a nice guy. I haven't seen the guys I meet Saturday. I didn't exchange phone numbers wit anyone but the girls I meet Friday night. I hung out Monday with one of the girls from Friday night. I am really glad I went. I was told by one of my new friends from Friday night, that if you take the weekend for the spiritual value it will be a good weekend. I did this because I didn't think I would really meet someone (to date). I was late on Sunday and missed the Sacrament and I am not happy about that but that's life.
I feel better about myself and where I am in life. I was having issues before the conference. Personal issues. Issues with self esteem and self worth. Feeling bad an embarrassed about not having a job, etc. The conference was so good, I feel better about myself. I know I will struggle with issues my whole life. This weekend was so great I want to go to 1 or 2 of the conferences coming up. I hope I get a job in time so I can go. A job were I can have the weekend off to attend. That would be awesome.
The feeling from the weekend was similar to the feelings I get in the Temple. Love in my heart, peace in my soul and a clear mind. Also a hunger for knowledge. I may not be a good flirt anymore because of esteem issues but I am getting my confidence back. I would recommend every single who can to go this conference next year. Also, look at the other conferences in your area. I know there is one coming up in Huntington Beach, CA very soon. As well as one in Sacramento, CA.
I got a flyer for a information site called http://www.theldssinglessite.com This site is to let you know what is going on in your area for singles. They have a section for 18 - 30 years old (young adult singles [YSA]). They have a section for 31 - 45 (mid-singles) and I believe they have a section for singles 31 +. You should check this site out also.
One thing I thought was really smart of the conference organizers. We had to wear badges showing we paid to be there and for security reasons. The front had our name on it and the back had the schedule for the weekend on it. That way you had the schedule of events with you at all times. They also made a booklet with bios of all the people who spoke, sang and talked to us. This includes the workshop people. They had pictures of all of them too. They booklet had the schedule for the whole weekend in the front and a daily one (with room assignments) in it. Then a map of the place on the back. It was very helpful but the badge thing was an amazing idea.
Monday, February 9, 2009
A Good Quote
Here is a quote my brother sent me to encourage me, to help me in life.
The Lord Has a Great Work for Each of Us
"The Lord has a great work for each of us to do. You may wonder how this can be. You may feel that there is nothing special or superior about you or your ability. Perhaps you feel, or have been told, that you are stupid. Many of us have felt that and some of us have been told that. Gideon felt this when the Lord asked him to save Israel from the Midianites. Gideon said, 'My family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house' (Judg. 6:15). He had only three hundred men, but with the help of the Lord, Gideon defeated the armies of the Midianites. "The Lord can do remarkable miracles with a person of ordinary ability who is humble, faithful, and diligent in serving the Lord and seeks to improve himself. This is because God is the ultimate source of power."
James E. Faust, "Acting for Ourselves and Not Being Acted Upon," Ensign, Nov. 1995, 47
The Lord Has a Great Work for Each of Us
"The Lord has a great work for each of us to do. You may wonder how this can be. You may feel that there is nothing special or superior about you or your ability. Perhaps you feel, or have been told, that you are stupid. Many of us have felt that and some of us have been told that. Gideon felt this when the Lord asked him to save Israel from the Midianites. Gideon said, 'My family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house' (Judg. 6:15). He had only three hundred men, but with the help of the Lord, Gideon defeated the armies of the Midianites. "The Lord can do remarkable miracles with a person of ordinary ability who is humble, faithful, and diligent in serving the Lord and seeks to improve himself. This is because God is the ultimate source of power."
James E. Faust, "Acting for Ourselves and Not Being Acted Upon," Ensign, Nov. 1995, 47
Uggg . . . Update
For those who want to know. My mother was released from the hospital today. She didn't have an appendix issue but she has a hole in her intestines. While they were testing her they also found a spot on her liver. Which they will have to look into more later. She won't be able to go to work for the week.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Uggg . . .
So this has been a crazy year for me so far. I still don't have a job and my unemployment isn't coming anymore. It looks like I have to go on Welfare. Which I am not happy about at all.
My father pasted away earlier this month. Cleaning his apartment and storage unit out. Going to a Memorial in Blythe, CA and then a funeral in Loma Linda, CA. Which was exhausting.
Then having to go back and forth between LA and Bakersfield, CA for my brother. Who let me tell people why but I had to help him with stuff too. It was also very exhausting.
My sister Melissa, lost her job a week or so ago. Then my Mother and my sister Allison who both work for the State of California are getting a pay cut. Instead of losing their jobs. My sister Melissa has to move back in with my Mother at the end of the month and is on Welfare again.
Now I get a call at 8:30 this morning that my Mother is on her way to the emergency room. She can't keep anything down and she is in a lot of pain. She is now in a bed, drugged up and having a lot of tests done. It looks like her appendix (sorry if I'm not spelling this right).It looks like she is going to have to have surgery. Which she is scheduled for a hysterectomy on April 28th.
I don't know what is going on with my family. I don't know if I can handle anything else right now. Today is one of those days I am glad I am single because it is one less thing to worry about. Today is also one of those days I wish I had someone in my life whose shoulder I can lean on. I know I have a lot of friends who are there for me if I ask. But there is a huge difference between friends and a boyfriend. Anyways, I will just have to keep praying. Please keep me and my family in your prayers, we really need it right now.
My father pasted away earlier this month. Cleaning his apartment and storage unit out. Going to a Memorial in Blythe, CA and then a funeral in Loma Linda, CA. Which was exhausting.
Then having to go back and forth between LA and Bakersfield, CA for my brother. Who let me tell people why but I had to help him with stuff too. It was also very exhausting.
My sister Melissa, lost her job a week or so ago. Then my Mother and my sister Allison who both work for the State of California are getting a pay cut. Instead of losing their jobs. My sister Melissa has to move back in with my Mother at the end of the month and is on Welfare again.
Now I get a call at 8:30 this morning that my Mother is on her way to the emergency room. She can't keep anything down and she is in a lot of pain. She is now in a bed, drugged up and having a lot of tests done. It looks like her appendix (sorry if I'm not spelling this right).It looks like she is going to have to have surgery. Which she is scheduled for a hysterectomy on April 28th.
I don't know what is going on with my family. I don't know if I can handle anything else right now. Today is one of those days I am glad I am single because it is one less thing to worry about. Today is also one of those days I wish I had someone in my life whose shoulder I can lean on. I know I have a lot of friends who are there for me if I ask. But there is a huge difference between friends and a boyfriend. Anyways, I will just have to keep praying. Please keep me and my family in your prayers, we really need it right now.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
One Heck Of A Month
This has been one heck of a month. One month that I do not want to relive. I haven't been really been able to post anything this month because of everything that has going on. So of the things I am not allowed to talk about, at least not yet.
I was able to spend some time with old friends. It was really nice. I was able to be able to spend some time at the La Brea Tar Pits. It was cool. I am glad I was able to do it. I wish I had time to see to go next door to LAMCA. I also wish I had more time to visit with more old friends.
Today the Green Valley Stake had a Relief Society Conference. It was on Temples. They had all of the live past Matrons of the Las Vegas Temple speak today. As well as a Patriarch who also designed and built the Las Vegas Temple. It was a very nice morning. I almost didn't go because I wasn't feeling all that well after the last few weeks. Plus I had a lot of laundry and so forth to do. I am glad that I went.
I am hoping next month will be better. I know I won't have a Valentine again this year. Big shocker, right? Still no job, again, what a shocker. Life is very interesting.
I was able to spend some time with old friends. It was really nice. I was able to be able to spend some time at the La Brea Tar Pits. It was cool. I am glad I was able to do it. I wish I had time to see to go next door to LAMCA. I also wish I had more time to visit with more old friends.
Today the Green Valley Stake had a Relief Society Conference. It was on Temples. They had all of the live past Matrons of the Las Vegas Temple speak today. As well as a Patriarch who also designed and built the Las Vegas Temple. It was a very nice morning. I almost didn't go because I wasn't feeling all that well after the last few weeks. Plus I had a lot of laundry and so forth to do. I am glad that I went.
I am hoping next month will be better. I know I won't have a Valentine again this year. Big shocker, right? Still no job, again, what a shocker. Life is very interesting.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Kenneth Randall Witham
Kenneth Randall Witham
August 9th, 1951 - January 7th, 2009
My father has been known as Randy his whole life. I haven't seen him in 2 years. It was a closed casete service yesterday. After we left I thought I should have burried him with a scratcher and / or a lotto ticket. This week, I was realizing how much me and my siblings really are like my father. Both in good ways and in bad ways. It is weird to see how different and like we are from our family members.
My father was a well liked man. He had many friends and many family members. Many of them I don't know. I have often felt left out. My father kept many things to himself. Which is one of the things I got on him about. He wanted to know everything going on in my life but really wouldn't tell me anything about his.
Cleaning his apartment and storage unit was exhausting. It was also surreal. I keep thinking he was going to walk around the corner ans ask us 'What are you doing?' or call me and say 'What's going on?'
If you would lke to leave my father a note, you are welcome to do so on this link:
http://www.legacy.com/PE//gb/guestbookview.aspx?personid=122786783&eid=viewgb_11409
Thank you everyone for your help, love, prayers and concerns to me and my family during our this time in our life.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
My Last Post
My last post was about my father who pasted away this week. We still don't know why or how. I wrote my last post while I was on Ambient. I don't remember what I wrote but I am also not going to go back over it. I am going to leave it as is.
Thank you for your concerns and well wishes everyone has been sending to me and my family. It means a lot to us.
Thank you for your concerns and well wishes everyone has been sending to me and my family. It means a lot to us.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
My Father
For those of you who don't know. I have been struggling with my father my whole life. We never saw eye to eye. He wasn't the best person in the world either. He did do good things for others. Specially his friends, his parents and strangers. Now matter what he did do or did not do he was still my father.
He named me. He did his best with trying to raise me. I'm not always the easiest to get along with but who is anymore.
I am having a hard time today. I have been having a hard time the last 2 days. Feeling unsure of myself. Not knowing where I belong. Not knowing what to do with my life. Was my life really worth anything to anyone.
Then this evening. I found out that my father pasted away. He hadn't talked to his girlfriend in 3 days. So Cathy (his girlfriend) and her daughter Candy and I believe another person. Broke into his home. Once in Candy went in first and found my father. He was died.
The corner in Blythe, CA is an old family friend. My brother is listed as the next of kin. My brother is on his way to Blythe, to figure out what to do next. He is likely going to be buried in Loma Linda, CA with some other family members. He was born in the Loma Linda Hospital.
I am happy I was able to talk to my father the weekend before Christmas. Other than that time I don't know when the last time it was I spoke to him. He told me he was getting his life back together. He has been going to church (all 3 hours, yes he was LDS) for the last 8 months. He was going to meet with the Bishop that Sunday and get everything together to be able to go to the Temple again. I was shocked and happy for him. He has our issues but I still only wanted good things for him.
My brother has the duty with Cathy to go through his things and clear out the apartment. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should go and help or stay here an wait for instructions from my brother. They have to find his will. I know he had one because when I was 18 he told me about it. He told me I was the executor. I told my brother this. I don't know if he changed it since then or not but I will more than likely asked to give that job to my brother. My brother is a CPA and better with all of the paper work than I could ever be.
His body is going to Indio, CA to be autopsy to find out what happened and what day he died. Did he have a heart attack and been on the floor for 2 days praying for help that can too late. Or what. I don't think he would have done this to himself. He has done some pretty bad things in his life. I honestly think he wouldn't purposely give up on him self. He would get mad, yell and get things to go his way.I honestly believe he was coming to peace with himself and the things he did.
But none of us will ever really know the truth. My next month or so will be sitting by the phone, looking for work, finding out what to do with my family and my father's life. Likely having to go to counseling and learn how to deal with it all. I have the need to clean his apartment. He always wanted everything spotless. No matter how much hard work or time it took to do it.
I loved my father and was trying to be kind and courteous to him. But at the same time keep my distantance from his insanity. I feel hurt and lost. I know he is in a better place in life. He was blessed through out his whole life.
Honestly, when I got the call today. I thought my brother said Grandpa died. I made him repeat himself and he said our dad died. I was in the middle of Walmart, getting things together for the trip I was talking for James. I was playing nurse for 10 day later this month.
Now what do I do? Where do I go?
I will say I am exteremly thankful for the Loveridge's being in my life, all 30+ of them in my life.
I am very thankful for all of my friends. The phone calls I have been receiving as well as the Facebook messages. This is one time though I wish I had a boyfriend whose shoulder I can cry on. But that is what my pillow will have to do for me.
I will let you all know more when I do. We have to wait for the body to be release before we can schedule the funeral.
He named me. He did his best with trying to raise me. I'm not always the easiest to get along with but who is anymore.
I am having a hard time today. I have been having a hard time the last 2 days. Feeling unsure of myself. Not knowing where I belong. Not knowing what to do with my life. Was my life really worth anything to anyone.
Then this evening. I found out that my father pasted away. He hadn't talked to his girlfriend in 3 days. So Cathy (his girlfriend) and her daughter Candy and I believe another person. Broke into his home. Once in Candy went in first and found my father. He was died.
The corner in Blythe, CA is an old family friend. My brother is listed as the next of kin. My brother is on his way to Blythe, to figure out what to do next. He is likely going to be buried in Loma Linda, CA with some other family members. He was born in the Loma Linda Hospital.
I am happy I was able to talk to my father the weekend before Christmas. Other than that time I don't know when the last time it was I spoke to him. He told me he was getting his life back together. He has been going to church (all 3 hours, yes he was LDS) for the last 8 months. He was going to meet with the Bishop that Sunday and get everything together to be able to go to the Temple again. I was shocked and happy for him. He has our issues but I still only wanted good things for him.
My brother has the duty with Cathy to go through his things and clear out the apartment. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should go and help or stay here an wait for instructions from my brother. They have to find his will. I know he had one because when I was 18 he told me about it. He told me I was the executor. I told my brother this. I don't know if he changed it since then or not but I will more than likely asked to give that job to my brother. My brother is a CPA and better with all of the paper work than I could ever be.
His body is going to Indio, CA to be autopsy to find out what happened and what day he died. Did he have a heart attack and been on the floor for 2 days praying for help that can too late. Or what. I don't think he would have done this to himself. He has done some pretty bad things in his life. I honestly think he wouldn't purposely give up on him self. He would get mad, yell and get things to go his way.I honestly believe he was coming to peace with himself and the things he did.
But none of us will ever really know the truth. My next month or so will be sitting by the phone, looking for work, finding out what to do with my family and my father's life. Likely having to go to counseling and learn how to deal with it all. I have the need to clean his apartment. He always wanted everything spotless. No matter how much hard work or time it took to do it.
I loved my father and was trying to be kind and courteous to him. But at the same time keep my distantance from his insanity. I feel hurt and lost. I know he is in a better place in life. He was blessed through out his whole life.
Honestly, when I got the call today. I thought my brother said Grandpa died. I made him repeat himself and he said our dad died. I was in the middle of Walmart, getting things together for the trip I was talking for James. I was playing nurse for 10 day later this month.
Now what do I do? Where do I go?
I will say I am exteremly thankful for the Loveridge's being in my life, all 30+ of them in my life.
I am very thankful for all of my friends. The phone calls I have been receiving as well as the Facebook messages. This is one time though I wish I had a boyfriend whose shoulder I can cry on. But that is what my pillow will have to do for me.
I will let you all know more when I do. We have to wait for the body to be release before we can schedule the funeral.
Monday, January 5, 2009
New Years Resolutions
What is in a New Year's Resolution? Is it really a goal for the new year? If you really want to change something about yourself, do you really need the new year to do this? Everyone wants to New Year to be better than the last. Everyone wants their goals, dreams and wishes to come true.
If you want something in life, only you can get it for yourself. You can't depend on someone else to make you happy. You can't except someone else to know what you are thinking. No one can be in your head but yourself. If you want someone else to help you, you have to say so. You have to tell them what you are thinking and what you want in life.
There is no need for resolutions just get organized. Write down what you want. Open up and talk to others to figure out how you will meet your goals. Remember small steps first. Several small steps will get you to the big goal. Don't forget to reward yourself for sticking with the plan every now and then. Don't reward yourself so much that you lose your sight on what you really want.
Enjoy life, have fun, work hard and relax. You can't control everything, you can't do everything. Love and determination will get you everywhere in life.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Hope and Healing in Recovering from Abuse
This is an article that is helping me. I hope it helps someone else.
Ensign » 2008 » September
Hope and Healing in Recovering from Abuse
By Sarah E. Miller
Sarah E. Miller, “Hope and Healing in Recovering from Abuse,” Ensign, Sep 2008, 36–39
Those struggling with the results of abuse can receive peace through the gospel of Jesus Christ.
As a child, Emma (name has been changed) was abused. Now, as a 33-year-old mother of four, she quietly weeps in my office. “I don’t understand,” she stammers. “I try to be faithful, pay an honest tithe, attend church, and serve in callings. Why do I feel so worthless? Why can’t I feel God’s love?” As a Latter-day Saint psychotherapist living and practicing in the United Kingdom, I have witnessed this scenario repeatedly over the years as I have counseled abused Church members in a professional capacity.
Many of my clients, like Emma, currently live faithful lives but continue to struggle with the effects of abuse in their past. In some cases, they perceive Heavenly Father as remote, stern, critical, or condemning. They assume that they “deserved” the abuse, that it was somehow their fault. In other cases, they feel as though their experiences place them beyond the healing power of the Savior. Church activity can seem overwhelming to these individuals, often because they compare themselves with other members and develop feelings of inadequacy. “What’s wrong with me?” they ask. “Why do I feel so unworthy?” Faced with ramifications such as addictions, self-hatred, mental illnesses, or broken relationships, they are eager to find hope and rest, but sometimes they are unsure about how to do so.
I am convinced that Latter-day Saints—or anyone, for that matter—struggling with the results of abuse or childhood trauma can receive peace through the gospel of Jesus Christ. The effects of abuse may persist for a while, but the power of the Atonement can ultimately relieve such burdens and facilitate healing. The Savior included those who have been abused when he beckoned, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). The Savior’s promise of rest can help victims know that God does love them, that they can feel His love, that they can forgive, and that their wounds can be healed.
“Why Did He Let This Happen?”
Clients frequently come to me feeling angry or resentful, asserting that a loving God would never have abandoned them to a fate of abuse. They perceive a lack of divine intervention as an indication of their personal unworthiness. However, Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, “There can be some who choose willfully to violate the commandments and harm you. … [But] the Lord has provided a way for you to overcome the destructive results of others’ acts against your will.”1
Healing occurs when individuals learn to search for and accept the Savior’s love. For example, I know of a case where a young brother and sister, twins, were forced to flee from their home late one night. Their stepfather had exploded in rage and threatened to kill them. As they wandered the dark streets searching for a place to rest, they discovered a secluded stairwell in an apartment building. Cold, exhausted, and fearful, they huddled together and somehow slept.
Years later, as an adult, one of those children questioned God, “Why didn’t you help us? Where were you?” An unexpected, gentle answer came to her mind, confirming that He had truly watched over her that night—that He in effect had sent angels who stood sentinel. In searching for answers, she hearkened to the Spirit’s whisperings and came to know that God loves her and is with her in times of need.
Our mortal experiences, however difficult they may be, can be channeled to help us know God and to learn about who we are in relationship to Him. When we learn that we are His children, we can feel that His love for us is unbounded: “Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee: therefore will I give men for thee, and people for thy life” (Isaiah 43:4).
“Why Am I Unable to Feel His Love?”
Even though they may know about God’s love on an intellectual basis, many people who have suffered abuse cannot, at least initially, fathom His caring for them individually. Some have never experienced a kind, loving, and respectful earthly father, so thinking about God in such terms is a difficult challenge.
To help transcend this barrier, I often ask clients to first think about the people they know who have loving qualities: a spouse, a bishop, or other Church leaders. Next, I ask them to visualize Heavenly Father listening to and responding to their prayers in ways that their spouse, bishop, or leaders might respond. With practice, the Spirit teaches them, and they begin to feel Heavenly Father’s tremendous love and compassion, often for the first time. As Jeremiah wrote: “I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
“Then shall you call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
“And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:11–13).
Bishops play an especially vital role in the process of helping the abused feel God’s love. Though not all aggressors are male, when this is the case, subsequent relationships with males may be awkward or difficult. To restore healthy attitudes, victims need to see examples of men, particularly fathers, who live righteously and according to gospel standards. By serving in a fatherly role, bishops become healing instruments as they afford sensitive counsel, positive examples, and effective priesthood leadership devoid of unrighteous dominion. Others can assist in the recovery process by reflecting the Savior’s love and sacrifice in how they serve selflessly.
“How Can I Forgive?”
Forgiveness is often difficult because offenders may deny their behavior or avoid acknowledging it. Regardless of how the offender responds—even if the perpetrator does not admit responsibility—the person who has been abused can choose to forgive. It is important to note that forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting the offense, trusting the offender, or even associating with him or her. However, it does mean letting go of self-destructive anger.
To help the abused person forgive, leaders, friends, and family members can acknowledge the gravity of the offense, allowing the innocent person to work through his or her anger and pain. Much abuse involves the denial of feelings and truth, so people who have been abused need to be heard and have their feelings validated if they are to truly recover and regain self-worth. When the person who has been abused is pressured to forgive, he or she may feel an added measure of guilt, taking the blame not only for the abuse itself but also for being unable to forgive. Allowing the person time to forgive can be a lengthy process, but it is critical to healing.
Some may fear that their loved one might become stuck at this stage or obsessed with unhealthy rage. However, although needlessly extending this painful process can be unproductive, insisting on forgiveness before feelings have been adequately acknowledged may cause withdrawal and may impede healing. Bishops and other supportive members can facilitate healing by empathetically allowing the hurt to find its expression and then offering Christlike love.
“How Can My Wounds Heal?”
Some members feel so unclean, unworthy, or damaged that they live on the fringes, never allowing the blessings of the Atonement to heal their distress. They believe that their hurt can never be mended or that their pain is greater than the Savior’s ability to heal. Satan is the author of these lies, for “we believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved” (Articles of Faith 1:3; emphasis added). Through patience, charity, spiritual awareness, and prayer, Church leaders can reach even the most troubled souls, dispelling negative ideas, instilling hope, and fostering self-worth.
The journey of recovery from abuse can be long and lonely. However, through my work I have witnessed the undeniable power of the Atonement to renew and revitalize lives. In the advent of abuse, people feel helpless in not knowing what to do or where to turn. But those who suffer—and those charged with the responsibility to help them—are not alone. The saving principles of the gospel have the power and capacity to heal wounded souls. Not only does the Atonement wash the sins of repentant offenders, but it also reconciles with God all who may feel estranged from His love, including the abused and their families.
President Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, has taught that it is often necessary to “walk to the edge of the light, and perhaps a few steps into the darkness, and … the light will appear and move ahead of you.”2 In other words, it takes faith to move forward. But when we exercise faith in His omnipotence, we begin to feel the atoning power of the Savior, who bore our pain in Gethsemane. We become free to receive refreshing inner peace born of spiritual renewal that arises from the Atonement’s cleansing and healing power.
Hope in His Sacrifice
The Savior’s sacrifice provides tremendous hope on the path of recovery from abuse: “He hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives … to set at liberty them that are bruised” (Luke 4:18). Through prayer, faith, scripture study, hearkening to the Spirit, counseling with priesthood leaders, and receiving support from friends or relatives, those who have been abused can see a road to complete healing.
Many times I have counseled Latter-day Saints recovering from the trauma of abuse, I can testify that though recovery may seem difficult and fraught with temporary setbacks, the Savior offers solace to aching hearts, heals wounded souls, and changes sorrow into joy. All who have been hurt can receive relief through the Atonement of Him who knows and has experienced all: “He will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy … that he may know … how to succor his people” (Alma 7:12).
Above: photograph by Jed Clark; background photographs by Robert Casey
Not My Will But Thine Be Done, by Harry Anderson, courtesy of Pacific Press Publishing Association, Inc.
Notes
1. “Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse,” Ensign, May 1992, 31.
2. Quoting Harold B. Lee in Lucile C. Tate, Boyd K. Packer: A Watchman on the Tower (1995), 138.
^ Back to top
Ensign » 2008 » September
Hope and Healing in Recovering from Abuse
By Sarah E. Miller
Sarah E. Miller, “Hope and Healing in Recovering from Abuse,” Ensign, Sep 2008, 36–39
Those struggling with the results of abuse can receive peace through the gospel of Jesus Christ.
As a child, Emma (name has been changed) was abused. Now, as a 33-year-old mother of four, she quietly weeps in my office. “I don’t understand,” she stammers. “I try to be faithful, pay an honest tithe, attend church, and serve in callings. Why do I feel so worthless? Why can’t I feel God’s love?” As a Latter-day Saint psychotherapist living and practicing in the United Kingdom, I have witnessed this scenario repeatedly over the years as I have counseled abused Church members in a professional capacity.
Many of my clients, like Emma, currently live faithful lives but continue to struggle with the effects of abuse in their past. In some cases, they perceive Heavenly Father as remote, stern, critical, or condemning. They assume that they “deserved” the abuse, that it was somehow their fault. In other cases, they feel as though their experiences place them beyond the healing power of the Savior. Church activity can seem overwhelming to these individuals, often because they compare themselves with other members and develop feelings of inadequacy. “What’s wrong with me?” they ask. “Why do I feel so unworthy?” Faced with ramifications such as addictions, self-hatred, mental illnesses, or broken relationships, they are eager to find hope and rest, but sometimes they are unsure about how to do so.
I am convinced that Latter-day Saints—or anyone, for that matter—struggling with the results of abuse or childhood trauma can receive peace through the gospel of Jesus Christ. The effects of abuse may persist for a while, but the power of the Atonement can ultimately relieve such burdens and facilitate healing. The Savior included those who have been abused when he beckoned, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). The Savior’s promise of rest can help victims know that God does love them, that they can feel His love, that they can forgive, and that their wounds can be healed.
“Why Did He Let This Happen?”
Clients frequently come to me feeling angry or resentful, asserting that a loving God would never have abandoned them to a fate of abuse. They perceive a lack of divine intervention as an indication of their personal unworthiness. However, Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, “There can be some who choose willfully to violate the commandments and harm you. … [But] the Lord has provided a way for you to overcome the destructive results of others’ acts against your will.”1
Healing occurs when individuals learn to search for and accept the Savior’s love. For example, I know of a case where a young brother and sister, twins, were forced to flee from their home late one night. Their stepfather had exploded in rage and threatened to kill them. As they wandered the dark streets searching for a place to rest, they discovered a secluded stairwell in an apartment building. Cold, exhausted, and fearful, they huddled together and somehow slept.
Years later, as an adult, one of those children questioned God, “Why didn’t you help us? Where were you?” An unexpected, gentle answer came to her mind, confirming that He had truly watched over her that night—that He in effect had sent angels who stood sentinel. In searching for answers, she hearkened to the Spirit’s whisperings and came to know that God loves her and is with her in times of need.
Our mortal experiences, however difficult they may be, can be channeled to help us know God and to learn about who we are in relationship to Him. When we learn that we are His children, we can feel that His love for us is unbounded: “Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee: therefore will I give men for thee, and people for thy life” (Isaiah 43:4).
“Why Am I Unable to Feel His Love?”
Even though they may know about God’s love on an intellectual basis, many people who have suffered abuse cannot, at least initially, fathom His caring for them individually. Some have never experienced a kind, loving, and respectful earthly father, so thinking about God in such terms is a difficult challenge.
To help transcend this barrier, I often ask clients to first think about the people they know who have loving qualities: a spouse, a bishop, or other Church leaders. Next, I ask them to visualize Heavenly Father listening to and responding to their prayers in ways that their spouse, bishop, or leaders might respond. With practice, the Spirit teaches them, and they begin to feel Heavenly Father’s tremendous love and compassion, often for the first time. As Jeremiah wrote: “I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
“Then shall you call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
“And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:11–13).
Bishops play an especially vital role in the process of helping the abused feel God’s love. Though not all aggressors are male, when this is the case, subsequent relationships with males may be awkward or difficult. To restore healthy attitudes, victims need to see examples of men, particularly fathers, who live righteously and according to gospel standards. By serving in a fatherly role, bishops become healing instruments as they afford sensitive counsel, positive examples, and effective priesthood leadership devoid of unrighteous dominion. Others can assist in the recovery process by reflecting the Savior’s love and sacrifice in how they serve selflessly.
“How Can I Forgive?”
Forgiveness is often difficult because offenders may deny their behavior or avoid acknowledging it. Regardless of how the offender responds—even if the perpetrator does not admit responsibility—the person who has been abused can choose to forgive. It is important to note that forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting the offense, trusting the offender, or even associating with him or her. However, it does mean letting go of self-destructive anger.
To help the abused person forgive, leaders, friends, and family members can acknowledge the gravity of the offense, allowing the innocent person to work through his or her anger and pain. Much abuse involves the denial of feelings and truth, so people who have been abused need to be heard and have their feelings validated if they are to truly recover and regain self-worth. When the person who has been abused is pressured to forgive, he or she may feel an added measure of guilt, taking the blame not only for the abuse itself but also for being unable to forgive. Allowing the person time to forgive can be a lengthy process, but it is critical to healing.
Some may fear that their loved one might become stuck at this stage or obsessed with unhealthy rage. However, although needlessly extending this painful process can be unproductive, insisting on forgiveness before feelings have been adequately acknowledged may cause withdrawal and may impede healing. Bishops and other supportive members can facilitate healing by empathetically allowing the hurt to find its expression and then offering Christlike love.
“How Can My Wounds Heal?”
Some members feel so unclean, unworthy, or damaged that they live on the fringes, never allowing the blessings of the Atonement to heal their distress. They believe that their hurt can never be mended or that their pain is greater than the Savior’s ability to heal. Satan is the author of these lies, for “we believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved” (Articles of Faith 1:3; emphasis added). Through patience, charity, spiritual awareness, and prayer, Church leaders can reach even the most troubled souls, dispelling negative ideas, instilling hope, and fostering self-worth.
The journey of recovery from abuse can be long and lonely. However, through my work I have witnessed the undeniable power of the Atonement to renew and revitalize lives. In the advent of abuse, people feel helpless in not knowing what to do or where to turn. But those who suffer—and those charged with the responsibility to help them—are not alone. The saving principles of the gospel have the power and capacity to heal wounded souls. Not only does the Atonement wash the sins of repentant offenders, but it also reconciles with God all who may feel estranged from His love, including the abused and their families.
President Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, has taught that it is often necessary to “walk to the edge of the light, and perhaps a few steps into the darkness, and … the light will appear and move ahead of you.”2 In other words, it takes faith to move forward. But when we exercise faith in His omnipotence, we begin to feel the atoning power of the Savior, who bore our pain in Gethsemane. We become free to receive refreshing inner peace born of spiritual renewal that arises from the Atonement’s cleansing and healing power.
Hope in His Sacrifice
The Savior’s sacrifice provides tremendous hope on the path of recovery from abuse: “He hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives … to set at liberty them that are bruised” (Luke 4:18). Through prayer, faith, scripture study, hearkening to the Spirit, counseling with priesthood leaders, and receiving support from friends or relatives, those who have been abused can see a road to complete healing.
Many times I have counseled Latter-day Saints recovering from the trauma of abuse, I can testify that though recovery may seem difficult and fraught with temporary setbacks, the Savior offers solace to aching hearts, heals wounded souls, and changes sorrow into joy. All who have been hurt can receive relief through the Atonement of Him who knows and has experienced all: “He will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy … that he may know … how to succor his people” (Alma 7:12).
Above: photograph by Jed Clark; background photographs by Robert Casey
Not My Will But Thine Be Done, by Harry Anderson, courtesy of Pacific Press Publishing Association, Inc.
Notes
1. “Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse,” Ensign, May 1992, 31.
2. Quoting Harold B. Lee in Lucile C. Tate, Boyd K. Packer: A Watchman on the Tower (1995), 138.
^ Back to top
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The Tablecoth
A pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, reopened a church in suburban Brooklyn. Excitedly arriving in early October, they saw the opportunities to accomplish something good before them. When they first laid eyes upon the church, they found it to be very run down and in need of much work. They set a goal, though, to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.
They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc., and on Dec 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished. On December 19 a terrible tempest hit the area, lasting two days.
On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed a local business having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in.
One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church. By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.
Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet. "Pastor," she said, "where did you get that tablecloth?" The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there. To his astonishment, he found that they were. These being the initials of the woman. She had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria. The woman could hardly believe it, for the pastor told how he had just acquired the tablecloth.
The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. She was captured, sent to prison and she never saw her husband or her home again.
The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.
What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return.
One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighbourhood, continued
to sit in one of the pews and stare at the Tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to the one that his wife had made many years ago in Austria before the war and how could there be two Tablecloths so much alike?
He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety, and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.
The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.
They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc., and on Dec 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished. On December 19 a terrible tempest hit the area, lasting two days.
On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed a local business having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in.
One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church. By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.
Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet. "Pastor," she said, "where did you get that tablecloth?" The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there. To his astonishment, he found that they were. These being the initials of the woman. She had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria. The woman could hardly believe it, for the pastor told how he had just acquired the tablecloth.
The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. She was captured, sent to prison and she never saw her husband or her home again.
The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.
What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return.
One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighbourhood, continued
to sit in one of the pews and stare at the Tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to the one that his wife had made many years ago in Austria before the war and how could there be two Tablecloths so much alike?
He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety, and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.
The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.
How the Angel Got on Top of the Tree
It was supposed to be a happy time, but it wasn't. Santa was really pissed.
It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies. The Elves were b*#@!^&% about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making toys, and the reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. They had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and crashed it into a tree, breaking off one of the runners.
Santa was beside himself with anger. "I CAN'T believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours from now and all my reindeer are drunk, my Elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid Little Angel out HOURS a go to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"
Just then the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree.
He says: "Yo, Santa, where do you want me to stick the Christmas Tree this year???"
And thus the tradition of Angels perched atop the Christmas trees came to pass. . . . .
It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies. The Elves were b*#@!^&% about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making toys, and the reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. They had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and crashed it into a tree, breaking off one of the runners.
Santa was beside himself with anger. "I CAN'T believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours from now and all my reindeer are drunk, my Elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid Little Angel out HOURS a go to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"
Just then the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree.
He says: "Yo, Santa, where do you want me to stick the Christmas Tree this year???"
And thus the tradition of Angels perched atop the Christmas trees came to pass. . . . .
Things that sound dirty at Christmas
"Talk about a huge breast!"
"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"
"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"
"Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
"Just lay back and take it easy. I'll do the rest."
"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."
"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"
"Use a nice, smooth stroke when you whip it."
"Don't play with your meat."
"Just spread the legs open and stuff it in."
"How long will it take after you stick it in?"
"You'll know when it's ready when it pops up."
"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst."
"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"
"I didn't expect everyone to come at once."
"It's Cool Whip time!"
"You still have a little bit on your chin."
"Are you ready for seconds yet?"
"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"
"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"
"Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
"Just lay back and take it easy. I'll do the rest."
"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."
"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"
"Use a nice, smooth stroke when you whip it."
"Don't play with your meat."
"Just spread the legs open and stuff it in."
"How long will it take after you stick it in?"
"You'll know when it's ready when it pops up."
"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst."
"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"
"I didn't expect everyone to come at once."
"It's Cool Whip time!"
"You still have a little bit on your chin."
"Are you ready for seconds yet?"
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Star in The East
The star in the east is shinning again
For the eyes of the world to see
It stips once more o'er Bethlehem
Where the manager used to be.
It shines on the spot where the crowded inn
Had no room for the Mother with Child.
It shines on the fields where shepherds were
Minding their flocks so mild.
It shines on the road the wise men took
As they followeth its rays so bright
And knelt at the feet od the new born Chold
That brought to the world God's Light.
Oh, lift your eyes to the eastern star
That shines in the heaven tonight,
And feel the glory the wise men felt
And bathed in its wondrous light.
By Clara Moote
For the eyes of the world to see
It stips once more o'er Bethlehem
Where the manager used to be.
It shines on the spot where the crowded inn
Had no room for the Mother with Child.
It shines on the fields where shepherds were
Minding their flocks so mild.
It shines on the road the wise men took
As they followeth its rays so bright
And knelt at the feet od the new born Chold
That brought to the world God's Light.
Oh, lift your eyes to the eastern star
That shines in the heaven tonight,
And feel the glory the wise men felt
And bathed in its wondrous light.
By Clara Moote
Monday, December 15, 2008
Did You Know?
Did you know that I have been collecting statehood quarters since they started in 1999. I have 2 books, 1 for D and for P. The difference is what mint they were made in.
As of just now, the D book is complete. The P book I am nine short.
They are:
2003 Alabama and Missouri
2005 California
2006 South Dakota
2007 Idaho and Utah
2008 Arizona, Alaska and Hawaii
I can't wait to get these and finish my last book.
:)
As of just now, the D book is complete. The P book I am nine short.
They are:
2003 Alabama and Missouri
2005 California
2006 South Dakota
2007 Idaho and Utah
2008 Arizona, Alaska and Hawaii
I can't wait to get these and finish my last book.
:)
A Soldier's Christmas
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE
MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.
I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.
NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.
FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.
WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?
I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."
THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."
This poem was written by a Marine stationed in Okinawa Japan
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE
MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.
I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.
NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.
FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.
WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?
I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."
THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."
This poem was written by a Marine stationed in Okinawa Japan
My Christmas Wish List
This year I have a very different Christmas wish list, some of them have been carried over for years and will carry on to years to come.
1. A well paying good full time job
2. A permanent roof over my head
3. A beautiful man to share my life with
4. A respectful, loving and understanding family
5. Children (adopted or by birth), To be a mother
6. A good, working, cost effective car
7. To be a size 10 again
8. To be out of debt
9. To be Temple Worthy
10. Not to be dependent on caffeine
11. To be healthy and strong
12. To have a Bachelor's degree
13. To have a profession
14. To own my own business
15. To be a writer
16. To feel like I belong some where with some one special to me
These are dreams and goals of mine, some will never happen but hopefully most will.
1. A well paying good full time job
2. A permanent roof over my head
3. A beautiful man to share my life with
4. A respectful, loving and understanding family
5. Children (adopted or by birth), To be a mother
6. A good, working, cost effective car
7. To be a size 10 again
8. To be out of debt
9. To be Temple Worthy
10. Not to be dependent on caffeine
11. To be healthy and strong
12. To have a Bachelor's degree
13. To have a profession
14. To own my own business
15. To be a writer
16. To feel like I belong some where with some one special to me
These are dreams and goals of mine, some will never happen but hopefully most will.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Santa's Secert Wish
On Christmas Eve,
a young boy with light in his eyes,
Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise,
And said as he nestled on Santa's broad knee,
"I want your secret, tell it to me."
He leaned up & whispered in Santa's good ear,
"How do you do it, year after year?"
"I want to know how, as you travel about,
Giving gifts here & there, you never run out.
How is it, dear Santa, that in your pack of toys,
You have plenty for all of the world's girls & boys?
Stays so full, never empties as you make your way
From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large & small,
From nation to nation, reaching them all?
And Santa smiled kindly & said to the boy,
"Don't ask me hard questions.
Don't you want a toy?"
But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
He told the small boy with the light in his eyes,
"My secret will make you sadder & wise.
"The truth is that my sack is magic. Inside
It holds millions of toys for my Christmas Eve ride.
But although I do visit each girl & each boy
I don't always leave them a gaily wrapped toy.
Some homes are hungry, some homes are sad.
Some homes are desperate, some homes are bad.
Some homes are broken, & children there grieve.
Those homes I visit, but what should I leave?
"My sleigh is filled with the happiest stuff,
But for homes where despair lives,
toys aren't enough.
So I tiptoe in, kiss each girl & boy,
And pray with them that they'll be given the joy
Of the spirit of Christmas, the spirit that lives
In the heart of the dear child who gets not,
but gives.
If only God hears me & answers my prayer,
When I visit next year, what I will find there
Are homes filled with peace,
and with giving, and love
And boys and girls gifted with light from above.
It's a very had task, my smart little brother,
To give toys to some,
and to give prayers to others.
But the prayers are the best gifts,
the best gifts indeed,
For God has a way of meeting each need.
"That's part of the answer.
The rest, my dear youth,
Is that my sack is magic, And that is the truth.
In my sack I carry on Christmas Eve day
More love than a Santa could e'er give away.
The sack never empties of love, or of joys
'Cause inside it are prayers, and hopes.
Not just toys.
The more that I give, the fuller it seems,
Because giving is my way of fulfilling dreams.
"And do you know something?
You've got a sack, too.
It's as magic as mine, and it's inside of you.
It never gets empty, it's full from the start.
It's the centre of lights, and of love. It's your heart.
And if on this Christmas you want to help me,
Don't be so concerned with your gifts
'neath your tree.
Open that sack, call your heart, & share
Your joy, your friendship, your wealth, your care."
The light in the small boy's eyes was glowing.
"Thanks for the secret. I've got to be going."
"Wait, little boy," said Santa "don't go.
Will you share? Will you help?
Will you use what you know?"
And just for a moment the small boy stood still,
Touched his heart with his small hand & whispered,
"I will."
Author Unknown
a young boy with light in his eyes,
Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise,
And said as he nestled on Santa's broad knee,
"I want your secret, tell it to me."
He leaned up & whispered in Santa's good ear,
"How do you do it, year after year?"
"I want to know how, as you travel about,
Giving gifts here & there, you never run out.
How is it, dear Santa, that in your pack of toys,
You have plenty for all of the world's girls & boys?
Stays so full, never empties as you make your way
From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large & small,
From nation to nation, reaching them all?
And Santa smiled kindly & said to the boy,
"Don't ask me hard questions.
Don't you want a toy?"
But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
He told the small boy with the light in his eyes,
"My secret will make you sadder & wise.
"The truth is that my sack is magic. Inside
It holds millions of toys for my Christmas Eve ride.
But although I do visit each girl & each boy
I don't always leave them a gaily wrapped toy.
Some homes are hungry, some homes are sad.
Some homes are desperate, some homes are bad.
Some homes are broken, & children there grieve.
Those homes I visit, but what should I leave?
"My sleigh is filled with the happiest stuff,
But for homes where despair lives,
toys aren't enough.
So I tiptoe in, kiss each girl & boy,
And pray with them that they'll be given the joy
Of the spirit of Christmas, the spirit that lives
In the heart of the dear child who gets not,
but gives.
If only God hears me & answers my prayer,
When I visit next year, what I will find there
Are homes filled with peace,
and with giving, and love
And boys and girls gifted with light from above.
It's a very had task, my smart little brother,
To give toys to some,
and to give prayers to others.
But the prayers are the best gifts,
the best gifts indeed,
For God has a way of meeting each need.
"That's part of the answer.
The rest, my dear youth,
Is that my sack is magic, And that is the truth.
In my sack I carry on Christmas Eve day
More love than a Santa could e'er give away.
The sack never empties of love, or of joys
'Cause inside it are prayers, and hopes.
Not just toys.
The more that I give, the fuller it seems,
Because giving is my way of fulfilling dreams.
"And do you know something?
You've got a sack, too.
It's as magic as mine, and it's inside of you.
It never gets empty, it's full from the start.
It's the centre of lights, and of love. It's your heart.
And if on this Christmas you want to help me,
Don't be so concerned with your gifts
'neath your tree.
Open that sack, call your heart, & share
Your joy, your friendship, your wealth, your care."
The light in the small boy's eyes was glowing.
"Thanks for the secret. I've got to be going."
"Wait, little boy," said Santa "don't go.
Will you share? Will you help?
Will you use what you know?"
And just for a moment the small boy stood still,
Touched his heart with his small hand & whispered,
"I will."
Author Unknown
Oh Holy Night
Oh holy night!
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine
Oh night divine
Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming
Here come the wise men from Orient land
The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger
In all our trials born to be our friend.
Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.
Words by Chappeau de Roquemaure
Translated by John S. Dwight
This is one of my favorite Christmas songs ever.
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine
Oh night divine
Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming
Here come the wise men from Orient land
The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger
In all our trials born to be our friend.
Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.
Words by Chappeau de Roquemaure
Translated by John S. Dwight
This is one of my favorite Christmas songs ever.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Four Christmases
http://www.fourchristmasesmovie.com/
This is a very funny movie. I really enjoyed and laughed a lot. The only thing a friend and myself kept commenting about to each other was, Reece Witherspoon's hair. It kept changing. One part of a screen it was her natural hair and then it would change to a wig. The wig had different bangs. It made her hair look different and it didn't look like her natural hair. You think a budget that big they would have dyed the wig to look like her natural hair. You can't have roots in one shot and then turn back in the next shot and you don't have roots. It was weird. The movie was very cute and I would suggest people to go and see it.
This is a very funny movie. I really enjoyed and laughed a lot. The only thing a friend and myself kept commenting about to each other was, Reece Witherspoon's hair. It kept changing. One part of a screen it was her natural hair and then it would change to a wig. The wig had different bangs. It made her hair look different and it didn't look like her natural hair. You think a budget that big they would have dyed the wig to look like her natural hair. You can't have roots in one shot and then turn back in the next shot and you don't have roots. It was weird. The movie was very cute and I would suggest people to go and see it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)