Loving Life

So life is fine. I'm feeling better. Still feeling alone but that's life right.

I Need To Change Something

I need to do something different with my life. I am tired of always being in pain. And I mean in physical pain which hurts my social. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of roommates who do not clean up after themselves. I warn them that it drives me crazy people who don't clean up after themselves and that I can be hard to live with some time. They convince me it will be fine, I believe them and it all goes to crap. I feel so alone. I feel like no on wants me. I feel like there is something wrong with me because I have a hard time with roommates. I feel ugly. I want to make a change but I don't know what to do. Sometimes I want to be like the people on TV or in the movies that can make things better in 2 hours. I often wonder why I am here and if I am actually making a difference in any one's life. If I would actually be missed if I was gone. If any one's life would actually be any different if I never meet them. Sometimes I feel worthless because I'm not married and I don't have any kids. I don't own anything. I'm not anything marketable. No one wants to pay for homemade items anymore, specially when you can go to Walmart and get a factory made version super cheap. I want to travel but I barely have enough money just for gas to get to work. I also barely have enough clothes for work. It's also hard to travel with no passport and with all of my food allergies. I used to dye my hair crazy colors but my current job won't allow that. I've also thought about shaving my head but that won't help anything either. I've thought about those dating websites but I don't have any money for that. I've done the free dating websites but all that's on there are people looking for 1 night stands or to rob me blind. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Recently

At the end of June I ended up in the hospital with a migraine and severe pain in my adombine. It looked like I have an enlarged pancreaus and swollen liph nodes. I had an infection some where in my body that they didn't know where it was.

I left work early on a Friday. Went to Quick Care who gave me a very large dose of a pain killer that I ended up having an allergic reaction to and was sent to the Emergence Room. After 3 hours in the Quick Care I spent 12 hours in the ER. Drugged up the whole time. It was no fun.

I have been dealing with stomach cramps, pains and other issues. I have had several tests, exams, x-rays, etc. One doctor after another all coming up with something different. So far I have been told I have Chrons, Allergies-R-Us. Now I am looking at Celaic disease and diabetes.

I am on a very special diet now and have been doing a lot of research on Vegan-Gluten Free Recipes. I can have meat in general but no eggs and no dairy.

As I do have more energy now then I have in the past few years which is nice. I still get tired easily. I know I come across mean, snobbish and rude. I don't mean to be but it is usually from being in pain and/or really tired.

After several prayers, temple visits, etc. I appreciate the concerns of others although I will admit I don't always understand it. I do find the advise of others who have never had my issues fusrating at times. Specially when they tell me I need to eat more fruit and vegetables. Little do most people know I do eat healthy and I have done so for years. I know my size doesn't always show it and can through people off but I don't watch what I eat. I wish people would just be patient and understanding with me.

My New Goals

My new Goals for the year:

1. Figure out what I can eat
2. Get out of debt
3. Figure out what I want to be when I grow up
4. Stop drinking soda
5. Be Positive
6. Go to the Temple at least once a month
7. Full fill my church callings to best of my ability
8. Try really really hard not to watch rated R movies.
9. Actually have something in my savings account.
10. Not allow the stress of being single get to me.
11. Remind myself how good my life really is (specially on the bad days).
12. Remeber who I am
13. Work on finishing things on time

My Latest Adventure In Life

I had a blood test done to see what foods I was allergic too. This did not include environmental things like perfumes, flowers, etc. This is only for food.

My new list is:

All dairy (cow, goat, etc)
Eggs
Wheat
Gluten
Sunflower Seeds
Spelt
Tritcate (it's a grain)
Navy Beans
Pinto Beans'
Kidney Beans
Pineapple
Green Beans
Green Peppers
Mushrooms
Corn
Grapefruit
Strawberries
Spinach

Other thing's I am allergic to:

Pencilin
Steroids
Some Perfumes
Some Pollens
Pewter

Next to figure out, what can I eat???

Look At What I Did . . .

I finally opened an Etsy account. I will let you all know as soon as I start posting things.

www.etsy.com

Single Adult Conference

So this weekend was the Las Vegas Area Annual Singles Conference.

Now mind you if you go to this singles conference, you shouldn't have the goal of meeting an eternal spouse. You should be happy attending for the spiritual aspect and the pure entertainment value.

Having this attitude, I had a great time. I meet several people because I had my friend / roommate. She was a great comfort zone and helped me a lot get out of my comfort zone.

There was a fireside Friday night, a dance Friday night & Saturday night. There was workshops & another fireside on Saturday. On Sunday was Sacrament meeting, lunch & devotional.

Some of the workshops, firesides & devotionals were done by artist, Area 70 Priesthood leaders, Temple Presidency leaders, Brad Wilcox, etc.

There was entertainment by Sam Payne and Marvin Goldstein (both very good entertainers & good men). I am now friends and/or fans of them on facebook.

There is a website for the local Single Adults:

www.ldssingleslv.org

This site will mentions the next conference, FHE's (Family Home Evenings), Dances etc.

There is also well known Single Adult Conference in Huntington Beach, CA that I know several people will be going to. It is sometime the end of April.

http://www.hbmidsinglesconference.com

My roommate & some of my friends want to attend. I hope to see you all there.

My Current Goals

1. To weight between 150 - 160 pounds (loose 30 - 40 pounds).
2. Stop drinking soda
3. Be Positive
4. Go to the Temple at least once a month
5. Full fill my church callings to best of my ability
6. Try really really hard not to watch rated R movies.
7. Actually have something in my savings account.
8. Get out of debt
9. Not allow the stress of being single get to me.
10. Remind myself how good my life really is (specially on the bad days).

Happy New Year

I hope everyone is having a Happy New Year so far. It has been almost a whole week in the new year.

My goals this year:

Be positive
Stay Temple Worthy
Stay Organized
Be On Time Everywhere I Go
Loose Weight

Oh wait, these have been my goals for some time now. I don't really believe in New Years resolutions. I think if you want to make a change to just do it. Like I know I need to stop drinking soda. I just don't want to yet.

I still haven't gotten a kiss for the new year. Doubt it will happen anytime soon.

My latest goal is to keep up on this blog better this year. 2009 wasn't a good year for me to keep on this blog, sorry.

I hope everyone is doing well. I love you all.