I Need To Change Something

I need to do something different with my life. I am tired of always being in pain. And I mean in physical pain which hurts my social. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of roommates who do not clean up after themselves. I warn them that it drives me crazy people who don't clean up after themselves and that I can be hard to live with some time. They convince me it will be fine, I believe them and it all goes to crap. I feel so alone. I feel like no on wants me. I feel like there is something wrong with me because I have a hard time with roommates. I feel ugly. I want to make a change but I don't know what to do. Sometimes I want to be like the people on TV or in the movies that can make things better in 2 hours. I often wonder why I am here and if I am actually making a difference in any one's life. If I would actually be missed if I was gone. If any one's life would actually be any different if I never meet them. Sometimes I feel worthless because I'm not married and I don't have any kids. I don't own anything. I'm not anything marketable. No one wants to pay for homemade items anymore, specially when you can go to Walmart and get a factory made version super cheap. I want to travel but I barely have enough money just for gas to get to work. I also barely have enough clothes for work. It's also hard to travel with no passport and with all of my food allergies. I used to dye my hair crazy colors but my current job won't allow that. I've also thought about shaving my head but that won't help anything either. I've thought about those dating websites but I don't have any money for that. I've done the free dating websites but all that's on there are people looking for 1 night stands or to rob me blind. I just don't know what to do anymore.