Nightmares & Dreams

For all those who know me well know that I have a lot of dreams. Knows that I suffer from horrible nightmares. I had one last night. Normally my nightmares go on for days. They stalk me all day and all night for days at a time and one time for weeks at a time. Also, many of you who know me know that my home life, growing up wasn't all that great.

A dream I had last night / this morning was horrible. I never thought my home life, growing up could have been any worse then it was. Ok, it could have been worse but I never imagined how. Last night my dream told me how. I had a dream that my father decided to adopt more children. I had a brother who was older than me, twin brothers who were a lot younger. There were 10 children sharing 1 bathroom. No privacy at all. We had to share beds and bedrooms. The torcher was magnified. I didn't know what to do, I felt bad for my siblings. I felt over whelmed because I had more people to take care of.

I know this sounds petty. I know many of you would laugh about the fact having more siblings would be a nightmare. I would love to have a larger family. I would love to have more people in my life like that but the nightmare part would be more children who are messed up. More siblings who are messed up because of my father. More siblings to try and help and worry about. I know many of you won't understand this. I don't really care, I just had to get it off my chest.