I hope everyone has been doing well. I have been struggling inside with bad thoughts of things are never going to change. That I will always be what I am right now. I will never find love, I will never have children, so on and so forth. It is a hard thing to deal with sometimes. Specially at church when you see people 10 years younger than you getting married and having kids.
I know I am in the ward I am suppose to be in but it is hard when you try to talk to people or just say hi. And you get responses or looks that make you feel like a leper or a monster or something. You think, what is wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? It is so frustrating.
I know I need to be more social and get to know people in my ward better but it is hard when you get response like that. I know I need to just let it go and move on. That it likely isn't anything that I did or didn't do. They could be just having a bad day or something. I don't know but when it happened enough times you begin to wonder.
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