It seems that all radio stations, tv stations and news articles are all about cheating. Have you ever been cheated on? It is no fun, finding out that you have been cheated on is a horrible feeling. You think to yourself, what did I do wrong? Why did they do this to me? Did I cause this or was this something wrong with them.
Most of the time it is something wrong with them. If they are not getting what they need out of the relationship, how are you suppose to know if they don't tell you. The biggest reason for cheating is lack of communication between each other. Also, some people just don't know how to control themselves.
Never blame yourself because you were cheated on. It's not your fault they can't control themselves and that they can't be open enough to tell you what is going on with them.
On that note, people who stay together for the kids. Is never a good reason. I can understand wanting to give your children a steady home with a mom and a dad. But is it really good when you fight all the time because you don't get along. Is it good when one or both of you end up cheating on each other because you are not getting what you need out of the relationship.
My experiences say no, coming from parents who tried several times to leave each other, parents who just fought all the time and then end up cheating on each other, is not good for the children. It does more damage than help. They learn that if you are not fighting with you significant other that there is something wrong. This often leads to people getting into abusive relationships. They also learn that cheating is okay and that self control can go out the door. They also feel the pain of the parents being cheated on and doing the cheating. This puts them in an awkward situation, which was caused by the parents. Which can and often does lead the children into depression because they don't know how to deal with their own emotions.
If you think you are strongly attracted to someone else (I'm not talking about thinking they are cute or hot or something along those line) but I mean planning a life with someone else, if you think your life would be better with someone else, whether it be just to yourself or out loud. It is time to leave.
I know divorce is hard, emotionally draining but in the end, isn't better than going through the pain of being cheated on, being in a bad relationship for you and your children. Isn't better to show your children you are being the bigger person, that you want your own health and their health over the person who is poisoning you?
1 comment:
I don't know what prompted this post, but really, all I hear when I read this post is this: "Once someone cheats, then leave them there because it ain't gonna change."
I don't agree with that logic. I think that you have to strongly assess your current situation. Are you attracted to someone else because the grass is always greener? Or is it because you're not communicating enough with your current significant other? I believe that open communication can heal all wounds and misunderstandings. At the same time, I do believe in cutting losses. I believe the saying is this, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
What I am saying is that you have to be willing to forgive to a degree, but once you've past that degree (it'll be different for each couple) then you've got to move on.
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