The Prayer of Santa Claus

By Lance Micklus

Father God, tonight is Christmas Eve. Children all over the world are on their best behavior tonight – hoping, praying, believing that if they’re extra good, I’ll visit them in the middle of the night while they’re sleeping to leave a special gift. I love little children. They have such faith. They believe in the impossible – and they expect to receive it. For their sake, Father God, I pray that you will honor their faith and anoint me, for this one night to make their dreams come true.

I pray also for the adults – all of them mommies and daddies, grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles. May the gifts they receive on this night remind them that there is always someone who cares about them, and that no one is beyond the reach of love.

I pray for the world that 2,000 years ago once knew a special night of peace, when baby Jesus was born. Angels sand in the night sky and the sheep were not afraid of the wolf. I pray that on this night the world may know that peace again, an when day comes, they will never forget that Christmas is the day we have set aside to celebrate the birth of the Savior Jesus.

Finally, Father God, I pray for myself: I thank you for one more year of my life. I thank you for my health, and my wonderful wife, Mrs. Claus. Grant me a safe journey. May I find every home and forget no one. Help me to complete my task swiftly – there is much to be done in a single night. May the spirit of loe fill the night sky and may joy come in the morning. Amen.

SANTA'S SECRET WISH

SANTA'S SECRET WISH

On Christmas Eve,
a young boy with light in his eyes,
Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise,
And said as he nestled on Santa's broad knee,
"I want your secret, tell it to me."

He leaned up & whispered in Santa's good ear,
"How do you do it, year after year?"
"I want to know how, as you travel about,
Giving gifts here & there, you never run out.

How is it, dear Santa, that in your pack of toys,
You have plenty for all of the world's girls & boys?

Stays so full, never empties as you make your way
From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large & small,
From nation to nation, reaching them all?

And Santa smiled kindly & said to the boy,
"Don't ask me hard questions.

Don't you want a toy?"
But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
He told the small boy with the light in his eyes,
"My secret will make you sadder & wise.

"The truth is that my sack is magic. Inside
It holds millions of toys for my Christmas Eve ride.
But although I do visit each girl & each boy
I don't always leave them a gaily wrapped toy.

Some homes are hungry, some homes are sad.
Some homes are desperate, some homes are bad.
Some homes are broken, & children there grieve.

Those homes I visit, but what should I leave?
"My sleigh is filled with the happiest stuff,
But for homes where despair lives,
toys aren't enough.

So I tiptoe in, kiss each girl & boy,
And pray with them that they'll be given the joy
Of the spirit of Christmas, the spirit that lives
In the heart of the dear child who gets not,
but gives.

If only God hears me & answers my prayer,
When I visit next year, what I will find there
Are homes filled with peace,
and with giving, and love
And boys and girls gifted with light from above.

It's a very had task, my smart little brother,
To give toys to some,
and to give prayers to others.

But the prayers are the best gifts,
the best gifts indeed,
For God has a way of meeting each need.

"That's part of the answer.
The rest, my dear youth,
Is that my sack is magic, And that is the truth.
In my sack I carry on Christmas Eve day
More love than a Santa could e'er give away.

The sack never empties of love, or of joys
'Cause inside it are prayers, and hopes.
Not just toys.
The more that I give, the fuller it seems,
Because giving is my way of fulfilling dreams.

"And do you know something?
You've got a sack, too.
It's as magic as mine, and it's inside of you.
It never gets empty, it's full from the start.

It's the centre of lights, and of love. It's your heart.
And if on this Christmas you want to help me,
Don't be so concerned with your gifts
'neath your tree.

Open that sack, call your heart, & share
Your joy, your friendship, your wealth, your care."
The light in the small boy's eyes was glowing.

"Thanks for the secret. I've got to be going."
"Wait, little boy," said Santa "don't go.
Will you share? Will you help?
Will you use what you know?"

And just for a moment the small boy stood still,
Touched his heart with his small hand & whispered,

"I will."

Author Unknown

Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas

Santa Whispered, “Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas”


The Star: A heavenly sign of prophecy fulfilled long ages ago – the shining hope of mankind.

Red: The first color of Christmas symbolizing the Savior’s sacrifice for all.

Fir Tree: Evergreen – The second color of Christmas showa everlasting life. The needles point Heavenward

The Bell: Rings out to guide lost sheep back to the fold – signifying all are precious in the eyes of the Lord

The Candle: A mirror of starlight reflecting our thanks for the Star of Bethlehem.

Gift Bow: Tied as we should all be tied together in bonds of goodwill forever.

Candy Cane: The shepherd’s crook used to bring lambs back into the fold – A reminder that we are all our brother’s keeper.

The Wreath: A symbol of the never ending eternal nature of love, having no beginning and no end.


I don't know who wrote this but I like it a lot.

A Beautiful Story

Santa’s Prayer on Christmas Eve

By Warren D Jennings

The sleigh was all packed, the reindeer were fed,
But Santa still knelt by the side of the bed.

“Dear Father,” he prayed “Be with me tonight.
There’s much work to do and my schedule is tight.

I must jump in my sleigh and streak through the sky,
Knowing full well that a reindeer can’t fly.

I will visit each household before the first light,
I’ll cover the world and all in one night.

With sleighbells a-ringing, I’ll land on each roof
Amid the soft clatter of each little hoof.

To get in the house is the difficult part,
So I’ll slide down the chimney of each child’s heart.

My sack will hold toys to grant all their wishes.
The supply will be endless like the loaves and the fishes.

I will fill all the stockings and not leave a track.
I’ll eat every cookie that is left for my snack.

I can do all these things Lord, only through You,
I just need your blessing, then it’s easy to do.

All this is to honor the birth of the One,
That was sent to redeem us, Your most Holy Son.

So to all of my friends, least Your glory I rob,
Please Lord, remind them who gave me this job.’’

Alice

I can't wait for the SyFy Channel's version of Alice in Wonderland. They are premiering it Sunday December 6th 9 PM / 8 PM Central time.

The link below is to the SyFy Channels trailer

http://video.syfy.com/movies_events/alice

I can't wait for it. I am so excited.

The Holiday's

The holiday season is always a hard time of year for me. This time of year for some reason I feel more alone than I do any other time of year. I have never had someone special in my someone who have cared about me.

I try to not to think about it. I try to think about the real meaning of Christmas. The birth of Christ and what his life meant for us but it doesn't always work.

It also seems lately at church all of the lessons are on eternal marriage. Which is a hard subject for me to listen to. It is also very annoying.

I have to keep telling myself there is a reason for this. There is a reason which I don't understand right now and may not understand in this life. That I will receive the blessings of a husband and children. That it is just a trail right now that I must make it through.

I hope everyone has a good Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and New Year.

Ceremonial Daughters Of The Nile

Today was my Temple's Ceremonial. We have 2 a year. Ceremonial is when the Supreme Queen visits and when we initiate new members into our Temple. I am a member of El Giza Temple #139, Las Vegas, NV. I am in the dance unit at my Temple. Unit is a group. I am currently president of my group. Which is usually fun but sometimes stressful. On the 15th I became an Attendant (officer in my temple), I am still Historian and the Queen's page.

The Units have to preform for the Queen at Ceremonial. My unit the El Gizarettes (the dancers), learned a new dance. Our Queen is a huge fan of Elvis Presley. So we did Blue Hawaii Hula. We practiced all summer and basically twice a week since the last 2 months.

The Queen was in our unit before she had to quit. The Queen is not allowed to be in a unit while she is queen. This was our first dance where she didn't know our dance. I made everyone in the unit keep it a secret. No one was allowed to tell the Queen anything. She was so excited about our performance and how well we did. It was a nice feeling.

So Far This Week

I finally got a calling in my ward. I am now a Visiting Teaching District Leader and a Ward Missionary. I'm not really sure what that means. I was set apart during Sunday. Church just seemmed to drag on and on and on.

Work today and yesterday seems to be dragging on and on making the days feel like they are going so slow.

I felt this way about church on Sunday too. Nothing against the teachers & speakers & co-workers, etc. I just don't know what's wrong with me.

I've been praying a lot and listen to old conference talks lately. I listen to them while I am driving to and from work. Now I'm house sitting again this week. I also have Nile Ceremonial on Sunday.

The next several weekends, I have things to do between Nile, Eastern Star and family. I don't know when to breathe or even if I will have a moment to do so.

I'm still having major sleep issues. I don't know why.

Anyways, I hope everything is going well for everyone else.

HI Everyone

I hope everyone has been doing well. I have been struggling inside with bad thoughts of things are never going to change. That I will always be what I am right now. I will never find love, I will never have children, so on and so forth. It is a hard thing to deal with sometimes. Specially at church when you see people 10 years younger than you getting married and having kids.

I know I am in the ward I am suppose to be in but it is hard when you try to talk to people or just say hi. And you get responses or looks that make you feel like a leper or a monster or something. You think, what is wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? It is so frustrating.

I know I need to be more social and get to know people in my ward better but it is hard when you get response like that. I know I need to just let it go and move on. That it likely isn't anything that I did or didn't do. They could be just having a bad day or something. I don't know but when it happened enough times you begin to wonder.

Wow It Has Been A Long Time

Sorry I haven't done any posts in a while. I haven't had constistant internet connection. I moved into my Grandparents house May 1st. Then I moved into a house with roommate on August 1st. Then I started house sitting August 16th and have been there since. The family of whom I am house sitting for will be back the week of the 29th.

I signed up with Eastridge Temp Agency in May. I have been on several interviews over the last year and never got a job offer. Eastridge sent me to a business in Boulder City, NV. I don't know how they were open. They were in fear of being shut down. The manager didn't work well with others and wasn't up on the lastest news. They had to deal with a lot fraud. Oh well. Then I had a few weeks off. In July I started at a new place in Henderson. Today they asked me to fill out the paper work to start the highering process. I hope everything goes well.

My Grandmother went into the hospital June 2nd. She was in ICU for 10 days then spent the next 20 days in a Rehabilitation hospital. She finally came home July 3rd. I'm glad I was there for a while when she first came home. My Grandparents really needed my help in the beginning.

I'm still having crazy dreams and sleepless nights. I don't know if they will ever go away. Sometimes I wish I could remember more of them so I could write them down and turn them into a story or something. Other days I'm glad I don't remember them. The last few days I woke up singing church songs in my head. I don't know why but I like it for now.

I was in a family ward, The Silver Springs Ward, Green Valley Stake until August. Now I'm in a singles ward, Red Rock Ward. I don't know what stake it is in. In July I got my Temple Recommand back. At first I was numb at when I went to the Temple. I have been praying a lot and trying to figure things out. I went this week for Sealings with my new ward and was excited I was there again.

I am so happy that I finally have hope again. I lost my hope for the future and for life. Hopefully the new job, the new roommates and everything else will be going well real soon. I doubt I will ever get married or have kids, find love or anything else like that. But I'm not giving up anymore on me or my life.

About Time

Thank you so much for eveyone's prayer and thoughts for me. I have start a new job on Monday in Boulder City. It is through a temp agency but something is better than nothing. It is full time and not the part time they told me about originally.

I will still take the state test on June 1st. Just realized the date conflict. I will have to call the temp agency in the morning, they are closed already.

I love you all so much and I will keep you informed of what is going on.

Thank you!

WEC

For all Woman in the Las Vegas Valley, Check it out:

The choice in complete health and wellness event planning.

MISSION:
Our mission is to provide quality, informative, educational and fun wellness events, in order to enhance the health and wellness of the community. We aspire to provide events that encompass complete health such as:

•Preventative health screenings
•Personal health
•Education
•Insurance options
•Pre-planning
•Early detection
•Exercise
•Financial health
•Safety
•Beauty


Our Core Values:

1.Customer Service: We will always strive to meet and exceed your expectations during all phases of the event.
2.Value: To give you value for your dollar
3.Exposure: To positively promote your name to the best of our abilities
4.Reputation: With a combined experience in working, hosting, and coordinating 500 + events, we have seen and done it all!

When: Thurs, May 28, 2009
10:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.
Where: Red Rock Casino, Resort & Spa
Located in on the Charleston Ballroom at 11011 W. Charleston, Las Vegas, NV 89135
Click here for map

When: Wed, August 12, 2009
9:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m.
Where: The Fiesta Henderson Casino Hotel
Located in on the 2nd floor in the Cancun Ballroom at 777 W. Lake Mead Parkway, Henderson, NV 89015

This is interesting . . .

Have you ever worked for a toxic boss before. I seem to find them in almost every job I have. I thought this article by monster.com was very interesting.

Ten Warning Signs of a Toxic Boss
By Margot Carmichael Lester, Monster Contributing Writer

We've all heard stories about the nightmare of working for a toxic boss. Some of us have even had the unique displeasure of doing so ourselves.

Red flags to such behavior often appear as early as the interview process. We've compiled 10 warning signs of a toxic boss. Watch for them in the interview and you might be able to avoid a negative work environment -- or at least know what you're in for:

Disrespectful Behavior: "Don't overlook unprofessional behavior, such as emails that aren't returned or disregard for stop and start times for the interview without apology," says Anna Maravelas, president of TheraRising.com and author of How to Reduce Workplace Conflict and Stress. "These mini-moments are microcosms of your potential supervisor's style."

Visual Cues: "If your boss scans you from head to waist versus waist to head as they extend their hand in greeting you, they are intuitively sending a message that you are smaller than they are," explains Zannah Hackett, author of The Ancient Wisdom of Matchmaking. Though subtle, it's the nonverbal equivalent of a belittling comment. "This is not a good sign that your talents are going to flourish in this environment."

Defensive Body Language: "An insecure boss will find you threatening if you are good at your job and will use the power of the position to make your life miserable," says Pamela Lenehan, president of Ridge Hill Consulting and author of What You Don't Know and Your Boss Won't Tell You. Watch for constant shifting, avoiding eye contact or rifling through papers as you talk, she notes.

Bad Attitude: If your interviewer exhibits a general lack of enthusiasm or interest in the company, watch out, warns Donna Flagg, a principal with human resources and management consulting firm The Krysalis Group. It could be a bad day, or it could be a bad boss. "Ask for company turnover [data] and turnover [data] for that individual manager," she suggests.

Excessive Nervousness: Don't ignore extreme behavior, cautions one worker. "My boss used to eat sugar packets and raisins, and she downed them with large cups of black espresso," she recalls. "And she spoke in triplets: ‘hi, hi, hi,' ‘good, good, good,' ‘when, when, when.' Her stress level telegraphed to everyone in the department."

Distrust of Others: A toxic boss "openly displays a lack of trust in people, especially for those on the team in which he or she is supposed to lead," notes Gregg Stocker, author of Avoiding the Corporate Death Spiral: Recognizing & Eliminating the Signs of Decline. Ask what the company's problems are and what their causes might be. "If the answers to these questions consist of blaming others in the organization, especially those on his or her team, the person lacks trust in others."


Fear Used as a Motivator: Ask the prospective boss about others on the team with whom you will be working -- specifically, how well they work together, stay focused and meet objectives, Stocker advises. Be wary if the response identifies a lack of respect for people. When managers disrespect and distrust others' motivations, they resort to extrinsic means with which to motivate, such as threats, public humiliation and comments about layoffs.

Word Choice: "Your ears are your best hunch barometer," Hackett says. "Our choice of words sets up a dynamic that can raise or lower the energy in a room. If they begin every sentence with a negative message and then try to diffuse it somewhat, it is likely that negativity prevails in their life and carries over into work."

Extreme Friendliness: "It may sound odd, but what should have tipped me off was how nice she was," one administrative assistant says of her toxic boss. "I compare it to children being lured into dangerous situations with candy. How many kids don't want candy? And how many adults don't want to work for a boss who is nice? It was a trap I could've easily avoided had I caught on earlier."

Self-Absorption: "If his ideas seem to be more important than finding out about your ideas, or if you provide an answer and the interviewer tells you you're wrong or interrupts with his own answer to the question, it may be an indication that he will be difficult to work with," notes one technical support staffer.

Church Today

I went to church today. It was a nice day at church. I had a hard time waking up at first but by the time sacrament meeting was over, I was good to go. I spoke to my Bishop today. I got some really nice council. Sunday school and Relief Society were nice too. I saw some younger woman in Relief Society and realized BYU is out for the summer.

A young boy came up to me as I was standing in the hall. I thought wow what a brave young man. He wanted to show me how me can make a paper airplane super fast. I asked if it could fly. He was so sure of himself and said 'of course its a plane'. So he tried throwing it a few times put it wouldn't fly. I then ripped a piece of paper put of my notebook and gave it to him. He asked me what the paper was for. I told him to make another airplane. He ran to his sister and had to show off the small piece of paper. It was cute.

I went to a YSA Conference fireside they were having locally. The place was packed. There were 2 speakers. The first one took his time and the second one talked super fast. While they were talking my friend was adding the scriptures to my palm pilot thing. Which I thought was super nice of him. Then after the fireside they served ice cream. It was a mad house. I thought the talks were nice. The theme song someone wrote was really awesome.

Oatman, AZ Trip

Hello Everyone here are the pictures from my Oatman, AZ trip last weekend.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mother's out there.

I don't want to forget about the soon-to-be Mothers or the women that one day will be Mothers. Happy Mother's Day to you too.

Mother's Day is a world wide event. It is celebrated differently in every culture. It isn't like Christmas where it is the same day everywhere but it is a good day none the less.

This is a link to the History of Mother's Day according the Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother's_Day

Here is a nice poem I found for this special day:

M... is for the million things she gave me,

O... means only that she's growing old,


T... is for the tears she shed to save me,


H... is for her heart of purest gold;


E... is for her eyes, with love-light shining,


R... means right, and right she'll always be.


Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER,"
A word that means the world to me.
--Howard Johnson (c. 1915)

Thank you to all the women who have acted like my Mother and to the one woman who is my mother. I love you all!

Today's Horoscope

I'm a Cancer. I have the igoogle page set up and with that I have the daily horoscope. I usually don't pay to much attention to it but I really liked todays:

You may surprise yourself today because you are so willing to be involved in someone else's plan that you aren't worried about relinquishing control. You may even be eager to take your role as a passenger without trying to be a back seat driver. It really doesn't matter much what activities are on the day's itinerary. It's just the act of doing something new and different now that makes you smile.

Oatman, AZ

I went to Oatman, AZ this morning with my Daughters of the Nile group. It is just outside of Laughin, NV / Bullhead City, AZ. It was a nice ride there and back. It is a very good day trip. They have about 20 shops with Route 66, Oatman, AZ and old miners themes.

We ate at the local restaurant which has $1 bills stapled to the wall every where. It is more than the wall paper. I had my first buffalo burger. It was so good and so lean. I wouldn't mind eating it again.

We saw an old fashion gun fight with the Outlaws of Oatman, AZ. I took several pictures with my friend's (the Queen) camera so I will get copies later.

Just before we left one of the shop owners told us if we show a carrot to one of the local wild mules (yes they walk every where and get into everything, they don't care) then put the carrot behind our back she will give us a kiss. Which I did, the mules name was Dotty and she gave me a kiss. My friend got a great picture of it. I can't wait for a copy.

The local mules were nice. One tried to eat the cell phone in my friends purse. You are not allowed to feed the baby mules (mainly because they will choke on the carrots) so they have stickers on there heads. Some of the mules hung out at a center store front, later discovered because they had a huge fan blowing nice cool air out the door. You could see there were 2 or 3 mules that were about to have a baby.

Oatman has a tattoo shop but it was closed for the summer. I thought that was super funny (specially since it is the beginning of May).

The gun show is twice a day, Noon and 2:15 PM. The Outlaws who do the show do it to raise money for the Shriners Children's Hospitals. Our Nile group went with some Shriners from Las Vegas. They received a check for the hospital the Las Vegas temple is over (I think its the Salt Lake City one but not sure). After the show they pass there hats around for donations as well as sell Outlaw bandannas and hats. At the Noon show they introduced the whole group. We got a picture of all of us with the Outlaws. I can't wait for a copy of that picture too.

All in all it was a nice day and a very nice trip. I would do it again and I would encourage others to go as well.

Going Second

My friend Josh Alfaro is in a band called Going Second. They are based out of Utah. They finally came to Las Vegas and played a show here last night. They played at The Dive Bar where my Senior prom date and friend Antero Medrano is a bartender. It was nice hanging out a little bit with some people from Blythe.

The show was really good. I meet the members of the band and a good friend of Josh's. It was nice talking to everyone.

The band is on Facebook, Myspace and they have their own website www.goingsecond.com You should check them out. They are a rock band on the happier side of things. They have a really great sound and I wish them the best in the music industry.

The El Gizarettes

For those of you who know me, you know that I am once again, President of the El Gizarettes. The El Gizarettes is a dance unit in the Daughters of the Nile, Las Vegas, NV #139 Temple. This is my second term as president. Since I have become president I have created a central email address, online calendar, documents that members can print from the email address, as well as a website and a blog. I hope the next president keeps it up in the future.

This is the blog address:

http://elgizarettes.blogspot.com/

This is the website page address:

http://sites.google.com/site/theelgizarettes/

You should check it out and see what we have been up to.

American Superstars

This last Saturday night I went to the show 'American Superstars' at the Stratosphere. I won the tickets at the fashion show that I was a model at. I took my friend Karen.

The show was really good. It started off with Elvis Presley, then Tim McGraw, Rod Stewart, Christina Aguilar and ended with Michael Jackson. It had the 4 show girls in and out of the whole show. You could take pictures with all of the performers after the show.

We then went to the top of the Stratopshere and walked around. It was nice. It was Karen's first time up there and my second. We looked over the railing. It was crazy to see how high we were.

Then we took pictures. The pictures were cute. I will upload it as soon as I can scan it in.

OES Annual Fashion Show

The Daylight Chapter of Eastern Star that meets at the Vegas 32 Lodge did their annual fundraiser today. I was one of the models. I was a model a few years ago. The clothes are from Dillards at the Meadows Mall. The manager Shirely was a very nice lady.

Tips for Young Men

This is something I put together to help out a young friend.

Tips for Every Young Man

 Wash your face every morning when you wake up. Use a face wash that is oil free and/or hypoallergenic. They make special face washes just for men. Wash your face every night before you go to bed.

 Use deodorant every day. It is ok to apply more than once a day. It is best if you apply it after every shower and right before you play sports and/or exercise.

 Shower every day, use soap or body wash with every shower. They make body wash and soap just for men.

 Shower after you are done working out and/or after playing sports

 Use cologne or body spray or after shave for dates, church, business meetings, special events (weddings etc). Body spray, after shave and cologne are alcohol based to dry quickly. Use 1 squirt or 1 spray or a dime size amount (everyone in the room shouldn’t smell you, only person who should smell you is you and if someone is less than 1 inch from you). Don’t use it every day (let your deodorant do its job).

 Try a product for 1 to 2 weeks to 1 month before you decide if you like it or not, if you know if it works for you or not.

 Wash your hands every single time before you eat anything.

 Drink at least 1 glass of milk every day. If you are lactose intolerant take calcium pills.

 Take a daily multi-vitamin. They have one a day vitamins for teens and for men. If you are a teen (13 – 19 take teen vitamin, 20 + take men vitamin) (I use the brand Once a Day because the lack of an after taste when you take the vitamin).

 Use moisturizer every time you wash your face, use and oil free one and / or hypoallergenic moisturizer (they make a version just for males)

 If you have acne use a cream or gel with Benzoyl Peroxide and/or Salicylic Acid (test both to see what works for your skin and life style). Apply after you wash your face but before you use a moisturizer.

 If your skin is dry, chapped and/or irritated use lotion. They make unscented lotions and lotions for men.

 For straight hair, use a straitening cream, lotion, product, there is also spray version and gel version. Apply when hair is wet then blow dry hair. Then straighten hair with a flat iron. Then apply a straitening product again. Please read directions of the product before use, there are several different kinds, some for wet hair only, some for dry hair only and some that can be used o dry or wet hair.

 Brush your teeth every morning and every night.

 Rinse with mouth wash that fights gum diseases. They say the health of your teeth leads to the health of your whole body.

 Floss every day, preferably every morning and every night right before you brush your teeth.

 Eat a balanced diet, you will not live forever and you will be able to do more with your life if you eat your veggies, fruit, meat, etc. If you do, your skin, muscles and your whole body will be happier, look better and feel better.

 Write in your journal at least once a day (this is good for mental health, it is ok if you only write 1 sentence every day, just do it) You don’t have to share or show your journal to anyone ever. It is your choice.

 Trust someone, specially your parents, they only want the best for you.

 Drink at least one glass of water every day

 Use chap stick, they make a version just for men that isn’t glossy.

 Use sun block if you plan on being in the sun for more than an hour in a day.

 Be physically active for at least 1 hour a day every day. If you are going to be active for more than 2 hours in a day, drink water, PowerAde, Gatorade and/or juice. Soda should a treat.

 If you have a question, research it online and/or ask someone for help.

 Always read the directions on a product before you buy it and/or before you use it.

* These tips can also be used for woman/young ladies.

7 Ways to Conquer Acne

7 Ways To Conquer Acne

By Priya Shah

Reports show that over 90 percent of all adolescents and almost 25 percent of all adults suffer from acne at some time. Acne affects males and females worldwide, regardless of nationality.

The most effective methods to combat acne include a combination of prevention and better skincare.

Here are some of the ways you can use to prevent and treat acne:

1. Exercise
Regular exercise can help fight acne by fighting off negative stress levels that can come from negative self-esteem and depression. But avoid wearing tight lycra and nylon exercise outfits. These synthetic fabrics that tend to trap body moisture and heat, creating an ideal environment for bacteria to grow. Stick to loose clothing made of cotton or natural blends, and keep your sports gear and equipment clean.

2. Safe Cosmetics
To avoid pore-clogging and skin irritations that can contribute to acne, use products labeled "noncomedogenic" or "oil-free." Opt for "hypo-allergenic" perfumes and cosmetics to avoid allergic reactions and skin irritation. Coal tar derivatives, carmine and heavy cream in blushes can cause reactions.

Shimmering facial colors can contain a flaky mineral called mica that can cause skin irritations and clog pores. Use a lip gloss with a matte finish for less pore-clogging. The more the shine, the more then comedogenic content and the more your pores can clog.

3. Healthy Diet
Studies show that diet does not play a role in either the cause or the treatment of acne. However, what is best for your body is best for your skin. So make sure you get enough vitamins, minerals and supplements that have been known and recommended to prevent and help conquer acne breakouts. These include

Vitamin A or Retinol (High doses are toxic)
Vitamin B Complex
Vitamin C
Vitamin E
L-Carnitine
Zinc

A good quality brand name multivitamin will probably have the recommended vitamins and minerals that you need to help with acne prevention. Drinking plenty of fluids throughout the day and making good, healthy dietary food choices.

3. Hormonal Treatment
Hormones (or a lack of them) during later years - especially for women - can play a role in acne flare-ups and prevention. One recent study showed that about 50 percent of women have acne, referred to as hormonal acne, problems during the week before their menstruation.

Treatment options include topical retinoids, oral antibiotics and Benzoyl Peroxide for teen years. For adults oral contraceptives or hormonal birth control pills and hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) may be helpful for women, combined with systemic or topical treatments, prescription or over-the-counter products and medications.

4. Healthy Skin Regimen
Avoid harsh scrubbing or over-washing, because this can cause possible skin irritation or possible over production of oil to replace what's washed off, clogging pores in the process. Use products with gentle exfoliation ingredients and skip products that contain alcohol.

5. Acne Products
Some of the more popular products on the market that can prevent acne include:

Benzoyl Peroxide
Proactiv® Solution
Salicylic Acid
Retinoids
Antibiotics
Oral Contraceptives
Anti-Androgens
Isotretinoin (Accutane)

6. Shaving
Shaving is actually an excellent way of exfoliating or removing dead skin to help with the prevention and spreading of acne instead of leaving the remains to clog pores. And for some light acne cases already in process, shaving can help rid whiteheads and blackheads from the face. Do not shave areas taht are sore or infected. Use a shaving cream for sensitive skin.

Shave with a sharp blade. Use gentle swipes instead of heavy pressure and go with the flow or "grain." A single-edged blade is better than a twin-blade razor. Electric razors may not shave as close to the skin, but they help with the prevention of acne and other skin breakouts and flare-ups better.

7. Stress
Stress includes external and internal stressors. External Stressors are those that compromise your skin's ability to heal, like oily make-up and too much sun. Internal stressors like anxiety, fear, low self-esteem, depression and a variety of other internalized emotions, can trigger chemical reactions inside your body that can result in acne flare-ups and other skin irritations.

To combat internal stressors and prevent acne problems, get plenty of rest and sleep. Try to maintain regular hours. Keep a check list of "Things that Calm You" handy for stressful times, like reading a book, resting, listening to music, taking a walk, going out for an ice cream cone, etc.


_______________________________________________

Copyright © 2005 Priya Shah

Priya Shah is the editor of The Glutathione Report and Health Naturale . "Get Rid of Acne," is a comprehensive report on acne treatment and remedies available at Treat Acne

This article may be reprinted as long as the resource box is left intact and all links are hyperlinked.

_______________________________________________

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

This is an article I found that I liked. I agree with pretty much everything is says. One thing I discovered that works for me is a hypo-allergnic moistuerzier with sunblock about 10 oz mixed with 1 oz of Benzoyl Peroxide 10% cream and .5 oz of oil-free / hypo-allergnic liquid foundation. I put this on after I wash my face every morning and every night.

I also know of people who tan in a tanning booth for 10 minutes once a week to clear their acne. This is not for the color, there is no spray tan. It doesn't work with sun bathing from what I understand. Only the tanning booths.

Embracing Hope Part 1

This is something I heard part of on tv and had to find out more about. I discovered it was on byu broadcasting.org under devotions and talks. The part I heard made me cry and I think helped me with my past. There is an audio version on the website for those who want to listen to it. It was part of a conference BYU did called 'Embracing Hope". I want to listen to more of them but I haven't had the time to do so. I just wanted to share this is everyone.

There are parts of my life that I don't share with others because of pain, hurt, embracement, fear and not wanting to remember what happened. Many of you will never understand, we are all given things in our lives to deal with and get over. Things to move past and overcome. Any help to whatever the source should be taken with consideration. You don't have to listen to what they are telling you but at least paying attention may help. You just never know.

The following is a transcript of a live presentation given at Brigham Young University on October 23, 2002 by Chieko Okazaki.

My dear brothers and sisters, aloha! This is an unusual experience for me; the conference organizers asked me to speak to you today giving an address I prepared for a regional women’s conference in Portland, Oregon, in the late fall of 1992. That was ten years ago. So this is something of an anniversary for me. A few weeks later, in January of 1993, at the request of Sheri Dew, I taped this talk for Deseret Book. It sold thousands of copies, and even today nearly everywhere I speak, one or two or more women come up afterwards and quietly say to me, “Thank you for that tape. It helped me a lot.” I love the text to be published in a compilation of addresses titled Disciples that Deseret Book brought out in September of 1998, and here I am, giving this address again.

I am indeed honored to be asked, honored to participate in this assignment, and I am greatly saddened by the fact that the information in this talk still keenly relevant to so many members of the Church today. I have never experienced sexual abuse, nor has anyone in my family, but many friends, acquaintances, and troubled Relief Society sisters have honored me with their confidences. President Hinckley and President Monson have condemned this shocking sin in strong terms that brought it sharply to our awareness. In April conference this year, both President Hinckley and President Packer again repudiated this grievous sin. President Hinckley as recently as General Conference earlier this month denounced such sexual abuse again, warning that those who committed it could face action on their membership. I personally believe that the growing awareness of and resistance to sexual abuse in the fulfillment of the scripture which says, “There is nothing covered that shall not be revealed, neither hid that shall not be known. Therefore, whatsoever ye have spoken [and I would add, have done] in darkness shall be heard in the light, and proclaimed upon the housetops.” Each survivor who tells her or his story, each individual who reports abuse, each police officer who arrests a perpetrator, each judge and jury who enforce the law, and each person who teaches children to protect themselves and to report abuse are part of fulfilling this prediction of Jesus Christ about the last days. This evil must be exposed before it can be repented of, and it must be repented of.

Brothers and sisters, let me share with you how I came to speak on this topic. I was the first counselor of the general presidency in the Relief Society at that time, and when I was invited to speak in Portland, I asked the stake Relief Society president about her concerns and the needs of the women in that area. When she sent me the list, one topic leaped out at me: sexual abuse. I felt a burden laid upon me from the Spirit that this was the message I was to speak in Portland. This was a very difficult thing for me to do. When I speak of love or faith or service or sisterhood, I often sense an easing of burdens and brightening in the feelings of those I address. Would this topic add to the burdens and intensify the pain of those who were already suffering? Did I know enough to be helpful, or would I injure those through clumsiness and ignorance? I fasted and prayed. I thought deeply and continually during the period of preparation. I consulted the stake president in the area. Most of all, I sought the Spirit of the Savior, that I would fulfill the responsibility laid upon me in the way that he would have me to do, that I would speak with clarity and with comfort for my own place of love and trust, that I could put an arm around a struggling sister and for a few steps help her walk the long, painful path of spiritual healing. My prayers were answered. In Portland I discovered that I had come to a place and a people prepared to hear this message. Several groups were already dealing explicitly with the support and healing of survivors. Priesthood leaders were informed, understanding, and supportive. I felt heard. People told me that they understood my message and felt the witness of the Spirit. It was both a sobering and an uplifting experience for me, and it has continued. I pray deeply and sincerely that the same Spirit will attend this occasion.
The case of physical or sexual abuse poses particular challenges. In such cases, we have to develop simultaneously protection against the abuse, shape a pattern of life for ourselves that means we do not become immoral and abusive in turn, and finally develop the ability to forgive those who have violated our agency and damaged our trust. I have chosen to focus on trust because I think that out of all the consequences of abuse, out of the pain and grief and shame and hurt and anger and sorrow and cynicism and rage and withdrawal and rejection of self and rejection of others, out of all these consequences, I think that the loss of trust may be the very worst of all. I want to talk about betrayal of trust in context of sexual abuse, and then talk about how to restore it.

One of the most powerful parts of the gospel for me is its promise of peace. I love the Lord’s reassuring words: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” Yet that message, which he spoke to his apostles in Palestine in the context of teaching them about the second comforter, he repeated to Joseph Smith, that imbedded in very troublesome message, the Lord told Joseph Smith: “Therefore renounce war and proclaim peace and seek diligently to turn the hearts of the children to their fathers and the hearts of the fathers to the children, lest I come and smite the whole earth with a curse and all flesh be consumed before me. Let not your hearts be troubled, for in my father’s house are many mansions, and I have prepared a place for you, and where my father and I am, there ye shall be also.” Here he talks of war, of the hearts of fathers turned away from their children, of the cursing of the earth and the consuming of all flesh. This is a message that is very relevant, I believe, to sexual abuse. What the Savior told the Saints in a message annunciated in his day and repeated in ours is a very hard message: that war and unloving behavior and trouble and heartbreak and even betrayal are part of human life. We can count on our Heavenly Father, and we can count on the love of Christ as we struggle to love each other, but even at its best, no human love will be perfect. Perhaps betrayal is too harsh a word for most of the difficult experiences that we have. A gentler way of saying it is that everybody is going to let you down. Your spouse is not perfect; your children will disappoint you in some ways. People in your ward won’t always be thoughtful and neighborly, but betrayal is not too harsh a word for the situation in which the trust of innocent and powerless children does not protect them against physical and sexual abuse from a parent, a sibling, a teacher, or from another member of the Church, someone, in short, whose responsibility before God is to protect and nurture.

I have eight messages that I want to share about the terrible betrayal of sexual abuse. The first is this: sexual abuse is a problem for all of us, both men and women, whether we have experienced it personally or not. The most conservative statistic I have heard is that one woman in ten is sexually abused before she is eighteen. The worst I have heard is that the figure is closer to one in three. One in three. A comparable statistic for the sexual abuse of boys is one in ten, and researchers feel that the sexual abuse of boys is even more severely underreported than the sexual abuse of girls. There are no systematic studies of which I am aware done on Mormon men and Mormon women, but those who work with LDS women and men as counselors and therapists say they have no reason to believe that the statistics are any different for them than for the national population.

Now think about the worst statistics: one in three. If you are a woman, it means that you have a 33 percent chance of being that woman. If you are a man, it means that your wife, your mother, or your daughter, may be that woman. If you have three daughters, if you have three sisters, if you have three daughters-in-law, if you have three granddaughters, this terrible evil could have entered your family’s life with or without your knowledge. Consider the men in your life. Think about your sons and grandsons, your missionary companions. Did one of them struggle silently with this spiritual burden? If you have worked in three elders’ quorum presidencies or bishoprics or stake presidencies, the statistical odds are that one of them bore this grievous, invisible wound. Think of your friends; think of the women sitting in your Relief Society and the men sitting in the priesthood meeting. Think of the children in your Primary. Sexual abuse is a problem for all righteous women and all righteous men everywhere.

The second message is that sexual abuse is not the child’s fault. Sometimes we hear statements from people suggesting that sometimes a victim of sexual abuse has some kind of responsibility for the abuse. I asked a woman, a former Relief Society president who had been sexually abused by her father when she was a child, to help me understand why some people feel that women who are raped or wives who are battered or little girls or boys who with sexual abuse may have done something to cause this evil to come upon them. With her permission, I share her answer. She said, “I think for some, it must have something to do with an understandable desire to believe that parents cannot, and therefore, would not do this without some provocation from their children. I don’t know what will help those who want to believe that as Saints we are immune to such impulses.” She continues, “I often find myself wondering why even we who knows our parents as abusers continue to protect them by idealizing them. At the heart of them, I think it is my child’s self-interested hope of escaping pain. She thinks, ‘He’s not bad; I’m bad. If he’s bad, I’m inevitably at risk. If I’m bad, I can be safe because I can stop being bad. If I can believe that I’m making my father do this to me, I can believe that I can make him stop.’ Accepting such responsibility,” she says, “becomes a way of not feeling the absolute despair of conscious powerlessness and the inevitability of recurring attack without possibility of rescue. Of course,” she said, “the hope is in vain, but the time blocked at the price of guilt and shame can save one’s sanity. Eventually the little child must go back and feel the despair, but only when she has matured enough to bear it.

Now the third message I have is that women and men who have been sexually abused probably need professional help and certainly need personal support. In the vast majority of cases, they need professional help because sexual abuse, and particularly incest, attacks the very foundation of their identity. They need our personal support because they have learned not to trust other people and not even to trust themselves. Sometimes they have terrible memories which they deny. Sometimes there are even more terrible gaps in their memories, which they are terrified to explore. Such profound isolation from other people can come close to a kind of insanity.

One man who shared his experiences of being sexually abused by his father told me, “I told all alone at church a lot of the time. In fact, I have not attended my meetings sometimes for up to a year because I cannot face the members.” And then he told about his agony at sitting through a lesson in which our responsibility to forgive was presented as an absolute requirement. When he tried to suggest that sometimes it is not possible to forgive until some healing has taken place, his comment was received judgmentally and without understanding. The teacher rebuked him, and when he tried to explain his feelings, a heated debate developed. He said wistfully, “I wish that I felt safe and accepted during elders’ quorum, but every time I enter that room that I am commanded to go into, I feel as though I’m going in front of a firing squad.” Normal happy voices, respectful listening, and simple trust can sometimes be lifelines. If you have a friend who needs someone to listen, and if you can be a voice of steadfast love for her or him, please accept that burden if you can. If there are things you can’t understand, please ask questions but also acknowledge you may not want to talk about this and that’s okay. We must never seek to know more than a man or woman is willing to share. We must never violate the privacy of survivors as their bodies and their sense of self have been violated in the past, and we must never betray their trust. That would add one more betrayal to the burden they already carry. Please be wise in your support. Don’t take on more than you can handle, and don’t try to become a therapist. Instead encourage your friend to get professional help while you maintain a close loving contact.

Fourth, women and men who are coming to terms with sexual abuse need all the spiritual help they can get. Pray with them if you wish. Pray for them. Encourage them to seek priesthood blessings. Read the scriptures with them if they wish. Encourage them to read their patriarchal blessings. Attend church functions with them if they need companionship. Go with them to the temple if they want to go. My friend told me that a very important part of her own willingness to start working on her abuse was receiving a blessing from a priesthood holder when she was just beginning to suspect sexual abuse in her past. Her own memories were chaotic and unclear, and she was reluctant to seek the blessings, she says, because, “I needed some guidance from the Lord that I wasn’t able to trust myself to hear. You see, I very much did not want to open a door that could not be closed. I wanted to get on with my life. I feared destroying by my becoming conscious of these things the hard-won and fragile peace in my family, and I was hanging on to the hope that I was making all of this up.” My friend was not making it up, of course, and the priesthood blessing told her things that she did not consciously know about until later. For instance, he told her in the blessing that her mother had played a role in her abuse. Later my friend discovered that her mother did in fact know about the abuse and had refused to help her. Think how much strength you would need to bear that terrible knowledge.

Fifth, those of you who are teachers and leaders have a special role in play in supporting a man or a woman who’s going through the aftermath of abuse. I would hope that every teacher in the Church will remember that in his or her classroom is almost certainly at least one person who has survived sexual abuse. With that person in mind, think of the stories you tell, the questions that you ask, and perhaps most importantly, the assumptions you make. Think of a seven-year-old girl whose father sexually abuses her. What does she feel when the Primary sings, “I’m so glad when my daddy comes home”? Think of a twelve-year-old boy who is physically and sexually abused by an uncle who is the stake patriarch. How does he deal with his confusion during a lesson which teaches that we should obey our priesthood leaders because they want what is best for us? Think of a woman whose husband beats and rapes her. What feelings go through her mind as a Relief Society teacher explains that it is the wife’s responsibility to maintain the spiritual atmosphere in the home and to support the priesthood? To these confused, despairing children and adults in pain, the teachers speak with the voice of the Church. Such messages have a great potential for increasing their pain and despair. Leaders play an especially important role. Parents and husbands, authority figures, and abusive authority figures may make it seem virtually impossible for someone who has been equally sexually abused to seek help from yet another authority figure. But I have had several survivors of sexual abuse tell me that the consistent concern of a priesthood leader, even when he did not fully understand the issue or what was happening, literally kept them from committing suicide. Blessings and respectful listening are very important. They validate to a survivor that he or she is not making it up and does not have to go through the healing process alone.

My friend shared one specific way in which leaders can perform a very real service for survivors in that situation. She pointed out that self-doubt is one of the inescapable results of enduring abuse. “That is why,” she continued gently, “it is so painful when others stand at the pulpit and doubt you, too. I think the reassurance of receiving a blessing from a priesthood leader spared me any further delay from the hopeful doubt that the work ahead of me didn’t need to be done. With the blessing I had permission to undertake the cure.” She continues, “That is one enormous contribution Church leaders can make: give permission to take the cure. Release the victims from having to continue to take care of their victimizers. If you wish to challenge the victims of child abuse, do not challenge the reality of their memories or accuse them of being responsible for what happened to them. Rather, challenge them to take responsibility for their own fate while expressing sympathy for the painful undertaking this will be. And always hold out the promise of the Savior that “I am with you even to the end.’ Who can do this better than those who are his witnesses.”

Another woman who had survived years of sexual abuse from her father spoke to me of the dreadful task of healing. I think of the Savior who shuddered because of the suffering, who suffered and bled at every pore, and drew back from the bitter cup, hoping that it was not necessary. He shrank away, but it was necessary. He says, “And I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.” Children of men is a stock phrase in the scriptures that means all human beings or the human family, but in this context, I hope you will also hear it as a literal phrase, as the little children who have been betrayed and injured at the hands of men, especially who were entrusted with their care. Christ finished his preparations for these children. The time of their physical torment may be over, but the time of their spiritual torment is great. Christ also adds significantly, “Glory be to the father.” For him, accepting and fulfilling the atonement was a dreadful task, but because he did it, we too can lift the dreadful cup to our lips. The scriptures tell us, “He descended below all things in that he comprehended all things, that he might be in all, and through all things the light of truth, which truth shineth, this is the light of Christ.” It may seem inconceivable that the light of Christ is eradiating and illuminating the horrifying images and memories associated with sexual abuse, but such is his promise. If this is your situation, cling to that promise. Cling to the light, and let it grow stronger.
The sixth message I want to share is that healing from sexual abuse is a very long and very painful process. According to one study that included LDS women, being able to reach the ultimate step of forgiving the perpetrator and moving on took an average of fifteen years. Many women and men who have been sexually abused respond in ways that they cannot control, with irrational fears and compulsive behaviors, even in repeated transgressions. Very often they are so filled with guilt and self-loathing that repentance seems impossible for them. Let me borrow an image from a sensitive bishop who works hard to help members of his ward who have been sexually abused. He urges leaders, family, and friends to realize that their loved one, a ward member, has been injured, just as if he or she had broken a leg that had never been set properly. Even though the person can walk and may have forgotten about the injury, true healing and true strength cannot return until the injury is acknowledged, the bone rebroken, and the leg set correctly. Please recognize and realize that someone who has been sexually abused has been deprived of part of her or his free agency. The individual cannot get it back except through the long and difficult process of healing from sexual abuse. If you are willing to make a commitment to be a friend during this process, make a long-term commitment. Often when we acknowledge a problem, we want it fixed quickly. We think a few visits to a therapist, a few priesthood blessings, a few tears shed, a few hugs should make everything all right. Not so. The process of healing may be more complex than I realize, different for each survivor, but let me share with you again what my friend says: “It is hard to answer questions that one hasn’t been asked, to explain to people who already think they know, to talk to people who do not talk to you. It is especially hard when their talking to you is an attempt to make the subject go away. I want it to go away, too. I thought it would go away after I woke up screaming in the night, or after it made me so afraid I would throw up over and over, or after I’d recovered the three-year-old and the six-year-old parts of myself, or after I wrote the letter to my father, or after, or after--the pain just ebbs and flows. I am in so much pain that I will do anything to pass through this as efficiently as possible. A lake cannot repent of its pollutants; it can only submit to being dredged and flushed of its debris and poisons. I am learning that the pain is not an end in itself, but it leads me to what I am to learn, and with each lesson, I get more of my life back.”

Now the closing words of her most recent priesthood blessing assured her “that Christ not only sorrows at my suffering, but suffers with me as I suffer. I am amazed at the love he offers me. I also lose what hope I had of escaping my pain any other way than by experiencing it. I wanted to be otherwise; then I remember Alma’s great testimony that Christ will descend below all things that he may succor his people according to their infirmities.” And then she continues, “I remember my own experience of being with someone who is suffering, knowing that it is their fate and that all I can offer is to suffer with them. Though I would take it away or explain it away or find someone else who would and who could, the Spirit tells me that it cannot be done and that I must stand there in the pain with them in the suffering.”

The seventh point I want to make involves the perpetrator. I realize that women also physically and sexually abuse children. What I saw applies to them as well, but in most cases of sexual abuse involving women, girls, or boys, the perpetrator is male. As women we know the victims and hear their stories, but we also know perpetrators. Most abusers have mothers, wives, daughters, and sisters, yet the secrecy with which we shroud the victim is nothing to the secrecy with which we shroud the perpetrator. When the abuse is incest, that means that a wife and a mother either does not know or chooses not to know what her husband is doing to their child. She may love him and choose to not know what is happening because the knowledge is too painful, because she feels to helpless, because there is too much to lose. Please remember the words of the Savior: “And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck and he were cast into the sea.” If you know a perpetrator and if you love him or if you love his victim, set the processes in motion so that the perpetrator can receive help and start on his own process of healing. He needs professional help; he also needs ecclesiastical help, and he has committed a crime which he must answer for in the courts of justice. My friend was born into an LDS family that had been active in the Church for generations on both sides. That lineage did not make her father pure; it did not make her mother brave. It did not protect my friend. I implore you not to shield perpetrators out of mistaken sense of love. I’ve never seen any studies suggesting that those who sexually abuse children will alter their behavior without direct intervention. We must believe this message. No child in the neighborhood is safe from a sexual abuser. No child or grandchild in a family is safe. In many ways, the whole topic of sexual abuse is strange to me. I feel unskilled in thinking about or in knowing how to help someone who is a survivor. I’m one of the other two women, not the third. I think of my father, of his steadfast willingness to work his life away as a laborer on a plantation in Hawaii to provide for his parents, for my mother, for me and my brothers. I think of his quiet pride in me and the determination he and my mother had that I would get an education even when that meant sending me away from them, even when it meant sending me beyond economic and social level they had reached. I think about my husband, who lived his life for others in the purest expression of Christ-like love I have ever known. I think about my two sons, strong and gentle and loving. My heart is filled with gratitude to the point of overflowing for these men in my life. Then I think about other daughters who are brutally taught that they exist as instruments to serve the twisted sexual needs of their fathers. I think about sons who are abused until they grow up thinking that all fathers torture their sons. I think of wives who live with the threat of physical abuse from their husbands or turn their heads away from the tears of their daughters or other mothers who see their sons grow up to become abusive husbands. I am filled with sorrow.

My eighth message is that we can do much to stop the abuse before it starts by holding the men and women in our lives to gospel standards. I’ve heard the disgusting report that some incestuous fathers justify their vile behavior by saying they are simply carrying out the Church’s instructions to make sex education a topic that is handled in the home. We can refuse to accept rationalizations and twisted logic. We can label such behavior for the sin and the crime that it is. We can raise sons and daughters who do not make disparaging remarks about other girls or boys or who think that they can bully anyone else just because they are stronger. We can teach children to feel ownership of their own bodies and to trust their feelings. We can insist that our sons respect the young women they date. We can raise daughters who have a sense of themselves and daughters of God too strong to submit to abusive treatments from their husbands. But perhaps most importantly, we can be adults who accept fully our divine identity as children of our Heavenly Father. We can accept and be ennobled by the eternal sacrifice of Christ’s atonement, not for someone else, but for us, ourselves. We can refuse to accept abuse, to make excuses for an abuser, or to turn our heads away from those who have suffered abuse. We can refuse to keep the guilty secrets of abusive men and women in our families, our wards, and our neighborhoods who are damaging and destroying innocence.
I have spoken today of us and them as though all of us are the fortunate two or the fortunate nine and as though the one statistical victim of abuse is someone else, a woman or man who is a statistic in another state, a person who is comfortably distant so that we do not have to deal with his or her pain. This is not the impression I want to leave. We are all here together in this Church. We are all here together in this problem, and we must be all part of the solution. How is it possible to reveal trust that has been betrayed? When the fabric of our lives is ripped and wrenched, what will make it whole? Let me use the analogy of a piece of lace or a crocheted dolly or a cat’s cradle. All of them begin with a long, straight thread or string. It becomes complex and beautiful when it touches other parts and other strings, but all of them are fragile. They can be shredded, unraveled, and torn, but we need to remember that there is a pattern. Even if it is damaged, it can be rewoven. Second, each part supports the other parts and is connected to them. You cannot pick one string out without destroying the whole pattern. I am part of the pattern. The bishop who sits with the injured members of the ward while they face the injury and begin healing is part of that pattern. My friend who discovered the abuse buried deep in memories of her childhood is part of the pattern. You are part of this pattern, and the Savior is part of this pattern. I like to think of the Savior’s love as filling the spaces in the lace where there is no thread because there wouldn’t be a pattern if there weren’t spaces. I think of him as the intersections where the threads come together, making something special happen where they touch and connect. We can be part of this network of service and support, and we can be part of the Savior’s pattern.

And now how can you build and keep that image in your mind? One thing that helps is to find a scripture that breathes a promise of healing to you or a hymn or a poem. When I was recovering from the sudden death of my beloved husband, who died in the spring of 1992, I clung to the second verse of “Abide with Me,” which says: “Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day. Earth joys grow dim; it glories pass away. Change and decay in all around I see. O thou who changest not, abide with me!” The promise of the sacrament prayer, that we may always have his spirit to be with us, is another promise of great power and consolation. Hymn 115, “Come Ye Disconsolate,” acknowledges pain but also promises hope. Let me read the first verse: “Come ye disconsolate, where’er ye languish; come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel. Here bring your wounded hearts; here tell your anguish.” And then it promises and says, “Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot cure.” These words breathe a spirit of comfort and consolation to me. I hope they do the same for you, that you can find others that speak the same strength from the Savior, the same never failing support and love. When times are hard for you and when you struggle with emotions you wish you didn’t have, will you think of them again? Draw deeply from their strength. But there is healing in the gospel and in the unfailing love of our Father in Heaven. How do we rebuild our trust in the Lord and in other human beings when a human being has so seriously violated that trust? First accept that you will have very conflicting emotions. It is normal that you should. Psalm 55 seems to me to be something like a dialogue between the hurt and the injured self and the self that trusts in the Lord. Listen as I read it, adapted slightly to this situation; first the troubled and pained voice speaks: “Listen to my prayer, O God. Do not ignore my plea. Hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me, and I am distraught at the voice of the enemy, at the stares of the wicked, for they bring down suffering upon me.” And now this seems to me to be the very antithesis of the Savior’s reassuring promise when he said, “Let not your hearts be troubled.” And in a situation of betrayal and violated trust, even our memories bring down suffering upon us, so the troubled voice continues and says, “My heart is in anguish within me. The terrors of death assail me. Fear and trembling have beset me. Horror has overwhelmed me. I said, O that I had the wings of a dove. I would fly away and be at rest. I would flee away to my place of shelter.” Then the sense of betrayal comes out sharply, and it says, “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it. If a fool were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a person like myself, my companion, my close friend with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we watched with the throng at the house of God. This person attacks his friends and children; he violates his covenant. His words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords.” Now as sisters and brothers we can understand this. Because of this betrayal comes rage, violent anger, even a desire for revenge. Now listen to the voice of the Psalmist as he prays in anger and despair: “Let death take my enemies by surprise. Let them go down alive to the grave. Bring down the wicked into the pit of corruption, bloodthirsty and deceitful men will not live out half their days.” But then, ah, then comes the voice of promise and reassurances and says: “But I call to God and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning, and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me. Cast thy burden on the Lord and he shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Thou, O God, I will trust in thee.” Accept that ye will deal with much emotional turbulence, with anger and pain, with desire for revenge with a desire to flee away. Accept that the process of having the corruption drained away is a long and painful process. Trust in the Lord throughout that process. Second, find others whom you can trust. I think it is very important that you seek out your bishop or another priesthood leader when you feel you can and share this burden. It may be hard to talk to a man if a man was your abuser. Find a trusted woman leader to talk to and accompany you when you are ready to go to your priesthood leader. In material prepared with the support of the Brigham Young University’s Women’s Research Institute, I quote, “Victims need to be believed. They need to be listened to. They need to be relieved of any inappropriate guilt about their role in the abuse. Many women reported the strength they felt as their bishops and therapists worked together. This arrangement allows bishops to concentrate on the spiritual and physical welfare of their ward members while the trained professional works with the victim to resolve emotional issues.” One of the women was so anxious and frightened about going to her bishop that she wouldn’t let him shut the door of his office during their first conversation. But when he heard her story, “he cried with me,” she said, “and that is when I started trusting him. He is the first man I ever remember trusting. I gave my therapist permission to talk with him to better understand how he could best help me.” And now another woman reported that her bishop was also initially baffled about how to help her, but he took the time to go out and get educated. He still keeps in touch with her even though she has moved to another state.

Third, do not try to rush or short circuit the forgiveness process, but continue to work towards it as you can. Wendy Ulrich, a psychologist in private practice, talks about the need to balance both justice and mercy during the process of coming to forgiveness. She writes, “The principle of justice requires an honest appraisal of our current systems and the realities of our pain. To forgive prematurely can close doors to the important realities that pain can open. Justice requires that we not assume responsibility for sins we have not committed, that we not assume power to control decisions we cannot control, and that we not exonerate others’ actions when they are dangerous and destructive. To attempt to be merciful in the absence of justice is to deny the characteristics which make God God. The principle of mercy follows the principle of justice but cannot rob it. Mercy allows peace to come to the forgiver as he or she enlarges her understanding of all contributors, take action on his or her own behalf, and extends to others the mercy he or she would claim for himself or herself through the atonement of Christ. The forgiver leaves to God the sorting out of responsibility and intentions, acknowledging others’ circumstances and agency and accepting any and all good consequences that have come from his or her relationship, just as he or she has acknowledged the evil.”

Brothers and sisters, we still have our free agency no matter what other people do to us and even if we must work hard to regain parts of it that have been taken away. Our Heavenly Father’s spirit is constantly available to us. He sorrows with us and is with us in our pain when abuse occurs. He is there when we start to make the first steps back. His love is steadfast. We may feel betrayed by our family, our Church, our society, and even by God, but God does not betray us. His love is never changing. I want to read to you another psalm, and I want you to speak the words in your own mind to imagine that this is your psalm, spoken in gratitude and praise to the Lord: “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer. In him will I trust. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my high tower and my refuge, my Savior, thou savest me from violence. When the ways of death compass me, the floods of the ungodly made me afraid. The sorrows of hell compass me about; the snares of death captured me. In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he did hear my voice out of his temple and my cry did enter into his ears. He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy and from them that hated me. He delivered me because he delighteth in me. Thou art my lamp, O Lord. Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation, and thy gentleness hath made me great. Thou hast girded me with strength to battle. The Lord liveth, and blessed be my rock, and exalted by the God of the rock of my salvation.”

Perhaps these are not words that are in your heart yet. I pray that someday they may be, that the words of other scriptures sink deep into your heart. Hear his voice saying, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” He knows the burdens with which you struggle. He understands your heartbreak, your self-doubt, the anger, and the despair. Perhaps when he says, “Come unto me,” all you feel is paralysis. If you feel you cannot go to him, remember that he is already with us. Listen to his words from Hebrew 13: “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” So that we may boldly say, “The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what others shall do unto me.” Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today, and forever. Matthew records the Savior’s final words to his apostles: “Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” In 2nd Kings, the Savior speaks gently to a sorrowing person: “I have heard thy prayer. I have seen thy tears; behold, I will heal thee. Go up unto the house of the Lord.” Now think of those words as if they were spoken to you, and listen to this promise of the end times as though it were your vision: “And I, John, heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold the tabernacle of God is among us, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither there shall be any more pain for the former things are passed away.” Believe that assurance. Believe the prophets who promise us, “And he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness, and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female.” What greater bondage can there be than being enchained by a sin from which you cannot even repent because it was not you who committed it? I implore you to turn to the Savior. I testify to you that when the scriptures tell us, “He descended below all things,” it means that he understands, knows, and accepts the pain of sexual abuse, as well as other kinds of innocent suffering. He is there with you in that suffering. I tell you that I love you. I pray daily for you, for your help and healing. For those of you who have been spared the scourge of abuse, I ask you to open the circles of your sisterhood and brotherhood. Include those whose trust has been betrayed by those who should have been their protectors. Open your hearts to them. Let them open their hearts to you. This is a burden that is grievous to be born. May we shoulder it together, not many adjust it upon the backs of those who have born it so long alone. May we love each other with a pure unselfish active love as the Savior has loved us. May our troubled hearts find the peace we seek with him, I pray, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

The Latest on Me

So I am still officially unemployed. I still don't have a car and my lease is up on my apartment at the end of the month. I haven't had a study job since my birthday last year.

I will be moving all of my things into a storage unit and I will be living with my Grandparents in Henderson, NV.

I have been applying everywhere I get leads. Places on careerbuilder.com, monster.com, jobconnect.com and other verious places. My odd jobs are mending, alterations, house sitting, jewelry making/fixing, etc.

I am still active with Daughters of the Nile. I'm not very active with The Order of the Eastern Star but my Grandparents will be going back in the line again so I will be an officer for them. In my Daughters of the Nile Temple, I am the President of the El Gizarettes Dancing Unit again.

I am still fighting depression but it is getting better. I am going to church again and enjoying it. I have been wearing my garments again since December and I am able to partake of the sacrament. I don't have a calling but I think it is more of the fact I don't know where I am going to be living than not knowing where to put me.

I'm thinking I am going to have to start a house cleaning business next or apply to be a maid at a hotel here in town. I don't like cleaning up after other people but I got to what I got to do to make ends meet.

Please keep me in your prayers and/or keep your fingers crossed (whatever you believe in) that I will get a full time job soon with health insurance. I have gone on many job interviews, many of them 2 or 3 times (higher ups, etc) but I get a letter in the mail every time. A letter in the mail is never good.

Miss California

I think this issue between Perez Hilton and the Miss California is ridicules. First off how does an evil person like Perez Hilton become a celebrity. He is all about destroying other people's lives. Mainly those who are celebrities. I don't know how he became a so called celebrity when he is so harsh and mean to others. But of course I don't like any celebrity gossip shows, articles, blogs, etc. I turn the station whenever I hear one.

Now for the Miss America contest. How this person became a judge is beyond me. I'm sure there were 100's of people that would have been better for the job than him. I think her right to answer the question the way she felt is to her right.

I am tired of seeing everyone's 1st Amendments rights being attacked. People are now afraid to talk politics and religion to anyone including family and friends. People are being attacked and picketed for their religious beliefs and political views. The people who attack others for their religious and political views are bigots. They should take a hint from Martin Luther King Jr. If they feel something is wrong or should be against the law they should do protests at political places not places of worship. They should introduce bills and laws to be voted on by their state. They should have petitions being signed my thousands and millions of their neighbors. Peace changes the world not violence.

I'm also not a big fan of the media. I feel they are too democratic and not liberal enough or fair enough. I think they don't show both sides of the story but the side they want too. I guess this is the way of the world now. That is too bad.

This is my opinion and no one else’s. If you don't like it, I'm sorry. Everyone had a right to their own opinion whatever it may be.

Hello . . .

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with the blog. I have been much stressed lately and having major issues with sleeping, still.

Everyone is given their issues. The Lord will not give us more than we can handle. I have very weird dreams that just to be getting more weird and more real life like. I have dreams sometimes where I don't know if it is real or not. I have had to ask questions to people before and they usually look at me crazy (then I know it was just a dream).

I listened to most of General Conference this weekend. I liked it but nothing stood out to me. I really like listening to them, it helps me sleep and relax. I'm thinking about getting some past ones and the current one on CD or something.

I have been listening to a book on tape called 'The Miracle of Forgiveness' by Spencer W. Kimbell. It is very interesting. I am learning something. I have been sewing while I am listening to it. If I have to think about what I am sewing I put the CD on hold.

If you have never read the book or listened to it, I would. I think every member of the LDS church should read or listen to this. If it has been a few years since you read it last, I would do it again.

I hope everyone is doing well. I am still going crazy trying to find a place to live, a job, packing my apartment up, doing some mending people are paying me for and house sitting. I am also doing some personal research.

Sorry

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with the blog. I have been very stressed lately and having major issues with sleeping, still.

Everyone is given their issues. The Lord will not give us more than we can handle. I have very weird dreams that just to be getting more weird and more real life like. I have dreams sometimes where I don't know if it is real or not. I have had to ask questions to people before and they usually look at me crazy (then I know it was just a dream).

I listended to most of General Conference this weekend. I liked it but nothing stood out to me. I really like listening to them, it helps me sleep and relax. I'm thinking about getting some past ones and the current one on CD or something.

I have been listening to a book on tape called 'The Miracle of Forgiveness' by Spencer W. Kimbell. It is very interesting. I am learning something. I have been sewing while I am listenting to it. If I have to think about what I am sewing I put the CD on hold.

If you have never read the book or listened to it, I would. I think every member of the LDS church should read or listen to this. If it has been a few years since you read it last, I would do it again.

I hope everyone is doing well. I am still going crazy trying to find a place to live, a job, packing my apartment up, etc

Church Today

It's Sunday again which means church. I am a Latter Day Saint. I have been my whole life. I haven't always been a good one but that's my issue. Today was Stake Conference. Then I discovered my friends who are in different stakes in this state (Nevada) it is also their stake conference today. Which I thought was weird. Then I went to church. Sacrament wasn't passed. Then they were showing the Stake Center. Which I thought was cool because stake conference is always a mess with parking and with seating.

Then the broadcast changed. It changed to Salt Lake City, UT. Where church leaders spoke to us. There were three speakers. First was a gentleman (I didn't get his name) who has family ties to the Las Vegas Valley. Actually park of Henderson is named after his family. He was very good. Then was a lady who is in the Young Woman Presidency. She spoke about the new Young Woman value Virtue. What it means to her, examples in her life. She encourage mothers to do Personal Progress with their daughters. I thought that was interesting. Then President Monson spoke to us. He was amazing. He was always a good speaker. He spoke about his connections to Nevada. Then went into the heart of his talk.

President Monson spoke about making our homes a House of Faith, House of God, House of Order, House of Prayer, House of Learning, House of Order and a House of Glory. I took notes the whole time. I was a little sad that we didn't get to partake of the Sacrament but I understood why.

Whatever religion you are, my Grandfather always told me be a good one. Remember someone loves you even if you don't see it. Church is a good place to make friends and connections for life.

Mad Hatter's Tea 2009

Sunday March 1st, 2009 was the El Gizarette's Annual Mad Hatter's Tea.

I was so worried. We were not able to set up until the morning of. I had scheduled back in October 2008 to be able to set up for this tea on Saturday. Then found out on Wednesday on my own unit's luck that we couldn't. They had scheduled another event Saturday night. I was upset, mainly because the people (person) who scheduled the building didn't have the respect to call me and tell me of the changes.

Then via email and phone calls, changed the plan of events. We needed to clean out our closet (storage unit). You couldn't find anything. One of the unit ladies husband put up shelves. We also took down all of the decorations and items needed from our closet for the tea. The closet is upstairs and the tea was in the Bobo Room down stairs. We were able to clean out the closet, get shelves up, decorations down stairs and out of the way of the scheduled event (before they started showing up).

Then we went shopping for food items needed for the tea. All the members (the whole 4 of us) was assigned to 2 loaves of bread sandwiches, 1 batch of cookies and other items (tea, cream puffs, brownies, fruit, etc).

We all had to be there by 10 AM on Sunday morning to set up for the tea. Thankfully, a few of the husbands and 1 grandchild helped us set up tables, chairs and decorations. It was awesome! I was so worried that no one would show up. While we were setting up discovered we only sold 20 tickets ahead of time. I planned for 60 people. I was hoping for 40 after I found out about how few tickets were sold.

Then a miracle happened, we had 60 people show up. We had 2 empty chairs at 1 table. We had young ladies, a young man, a gentleman, 1 infant and several woman. I was worried we were going to have to set up another table, then I worried we didn't have enough food.

I couldn't believe it, we had enough food. We severed chicken salad, finger sandwiches, green olives, fruit, brownies, cream puffs, lime bars, cookies, tea, coffee and eclairs.

We had door prizes, auctions, a raffle and hat parade. I think everyone had a great time. I think it went over really well, at least where I was standing. Then the clean up was awesome. One of our less active members helped and brought friends, which made clean up time even faster. It was so cool. Specially since I made the mistake of only getting 2 hours of sleep the night before with baking my cookies, lime bars and making my sandwiches (rolled up lunch meats with cream cream in the center).

I was so exhausted by the time I got home. I had a good feeling about the day though. I was excited how my unit worked together and did their part. I loved how many people wore hats and the decorations for my sister Allison were great. They helped with the tea theme so well.

Thank you everyone for all your help and support with this event. I can't wait for 2010!