Comments are always welcome to whatever I say. I use this blog mainly as a way to vent. You are always welcome to call me or e-mail me.
My ultrasound if Monday at 8 AM. I still haven't heard from the doctor's office. So no news is good news right now.
Still having issues with work. I have updated my resume on moster.com and will check out other sites this week.
I have been feeling a little down and alone like my world is ending. Like everything is going wrong. I know there are people out there who love me. I know I have friends. But I am afraid to open up to people, I am afraid they are going to think I am crazy or mean or rude. I want to disappear to never be seen again. But I know that won't help. You can't run away from your problems. You can't become someone else and you can't change your family. I want someone that I can trust and open up to that will hold me in their arms and listen and tell me everything will be ok. It dosen't matter if everything will be ok or not, just that they are there.
I don't need someone to solve my issues for me. They can guide me, give me suggestions, but really it is something I have to do on my own. I know from church they say that the Lord will not give you more than you can handle. I don't know if I believe that anymore. Too much at one time makes you do and say crazy and dumb things. Makes you think about doing things you wouldn't have thought about doing before.
As for the people in my life who think I am on drugs and/or just crazy, think what you want. I know the truth and I wish you would trust me and be more supportive. I do everything I can for you. Can you give me the same respect. There are reasons why I left home and have never gone back. Think about that and they way you treat me and everything I put up with from you. Maybe ask another family member if you can't figure it out on your own. Maybe something has been said to you in the past but you just ignored it.
This not meant to tell people to leave me alone. I am trying to say, I feel alone right now. Good luck in life, I know I need it.
2 comments:
With a statement like that about comments I guess that I had better stop just reading and running and actually write you something. I'm sorry that life is so crappy for you right now but please keep writting. I had wondered how you are doing (I know, it doesn't seem like it becuase of how little I've talked to you) and it is nice to be able to read what you are doing. Just keep at it, we are all pulling for you.
Thank you
:^)
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