Who Am I? 4

As you can tell, I wasn't in a good mood the other day. I'm still not but I am feeling better than I did. I don't feel like I a am pretty. I think men are not interested in me unless they say something (I can tell when someone wants to sleep with me). I worry that is what most men think that all I am good for is sex. I am afraid I am going to lose all my hair. I am afraid that no one will ever love me. I am excited someone wants a Halloween center piece I made. I don't talk to my father unless I have too. I don't talk to my mother very often. I don't talk to my siblings very often too. I think family is important and I wish we were all closer to each other. Sometimes I wish I could be someone else. I wish I could disappear and never bother anyone else again. I feel like a nuance a lot of the time. I don't always feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't have health care. I can't afford my medications. Because I can't afford my medications, I'm not healthy. I am sick a lot more often now. I still think no one gives a damm about me. I think most people are lying to me, either to be nice or to get something they want from me. I am all messed up. I don't always like myself.